Got stood up tonight...

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP!

back in the day when I was internet dating (gosh, 14 years ago now? ) I was once stood up in the same way. Went to a bar and waited, guy never showed or texted or responded. And I'd had my fair share of ppl who didn't really resemble their pictures so I was pretty honest in mine-I had flattering shots, not so flattering and full body (plus, I was not overweight in the least). . Who knows why people do these things?

At first i felt so embarrassed and I admitted to the bartender (who asked if I wanted to order food) that I think I was stood up. He was super sweet, and then these two guys nearby heard this and they were awesome, and they bought me dinner and we all ended up having a few cocktails and talking about how shitty dating was in general and ended up having a fun night after all and feeling a lot better about myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met a guy on an app. Scheduled a date for tonight (only communicated through the app). He messaged me that he was ‘walking inside’ - next thing I know - unmatched me and never showed up. Guess he saw me and decided I wasn’t worth his time. I usually consider myself a strong, independent woman, but this hurts....embarrassed I’m sitting here crying and feeling crappy over this. Think I’m done online dating.

how do you date during covid? what was your plan for the evening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met a guy on an app. Scheduled a date for tonight (only communicated through the app). He messaged me that he was ‘walking inside’ - next thing I know - unmatched me and never showed up. Guess he saw me and decided I wasn’t worth his time. I usually consider myself a strong, independent woman, but this hurts....embarrassed I’m sitting here crying and feeling crappy over this. Think I’m done online dating.

how do you date during covid? what was your plan for the evening?

Lots of bars/restaurants are open and have outdoor seating...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

+1000!! Kick arse and keep it moving. 😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Bet he’s just a catfish himself.

That’s what I was thinking. Freaking loser

I'm old. What is "catfishing" related to dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Bet he’s just a catfish himself.

That’s what I was thinking. Freaking loser

I'm old. What is "catfishing" related to dating?

Do your Googling fingers not work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

+1000!! Kick arse and keep it moving. 😊

As somewhat of a side note I'm surprised it's that easy to get someone banned from an app. Not with respect to what he did but that all it takes is a complaint to get someone banned. Seems like someone in a different situation that's butthurt from rejection could just complain about the other person. OTOH, maybe they look at geolocation info from the app and determined he's a scammed from Russia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

+1000!! Kick arse and keep it moving. 😊

As somewhat of a side note I'm surprised it's that easy to get someone banned from an app. Not with respect to what he did but that all it takes is a complaint to get someone banned. Seems like someone in a different situation that's butthurt from rejection could just complain about the other person. OTOH, maybe they look at geolocation info from the app and determined he's a scammed from Russia.

I know Tinder has gotten flak because they banned people after just one report. My friend, the nicest person you would ever meet, got banned. She hadn't even met anyone yet! All is takes is some jerk who got ignored or whatever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

+1000!! Kick arse and keep it moving. 😊

As somewhat of a side note I'm surprised it's that easy to get someone banned from an app. Not with respect to what he did but that all it takes is a complaint to get someone banned. Seems like someone in a different situation that's butthurt from rejection could just complain about the other person. OTOH, maybe they look at geolocation info from the app and determined he's a scammed from Russia.

I know Tinder has gotten flak because they banned people after just one report. My friend, the nicest person you would ever meet, got banned. She hadn't even met anyone yet! All is takes is some jerk who got ignored or whatever

OP here - and (although obviously I think it was warranted in my situation), I agree - could see people 'reporting' for being ignored, being told their match isn't interested in a second date, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met a guy on an app. Scheduled a date for tonight (only communicated through the app). He messaged me that he was ‘walking inside’ - next thing I know - unmatched me and never showed up. Guess he saw me and decided I wasn’t worth his time. I usually consider myself a strong, independent woman, but this hurts....embarrassed I’m sitting here crying and feeling crappy over this. Think I’m done online dating.

how do you date during covid? what was your plan for the evening?

Lots of bars/restaurants are open and have outdoor seating...

She said they were indoors.

I'm a NP and also wondering what the hell.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me on my first date in DC about 20 years ago. There were no apps then, just personals. We had spoken on the phone 3 times before we decided to meet in person. I had described myself and he said he liked my type. Long story short, I waited for over an hour before heading back home, called him only to learn that he had been there, seen me, thought my nose was too big and decided to leave.

[Anonymous]

When I was dating this happened to me! I met someone online and we picked a place to meet and he didn’t show. When I looked at his profile, he had blocked me. Omg. It was humiliating! The guy did me a huge favor...I’m engaged now to a kind man who would never think of doing that! Op, it sucks but he’s a jerk. Glad you know that now.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

While this guy was disrespectful and a jerk in how he chose to handle the situation, no one is under any obligation to sit through a date with someone they aren't attracted to. People sometimes look much different in person than in pictures. The app service can ban whoever they want obviously; doesn't mean they should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again: thank you so, so much for the kind words! silly as it sounds, they definitely made me feel better, so thank you internet strangers. I still can’t believe this happened to me - like several others on here, I have certainly had my fair share of ‘omg he looks so different from his profile’ but still stuck it out for an hour to be respectful to another human being! Anyways - I reported him to the app and they responded quickly and let me know that they’d banned him. Hopefully no other women will have to deal with this. The more I think about it-there was some shadiness, and part of me does wonder if he was cat fishing.

I think he was, OP. Good for you for getting him banned.

While this guy was disrespectful and a jerk in how he chose to handle the situation, no one is under any obligation to sit through a date with someone they aren't attracted to. People sometimes look much different in person than in pictures. The app service can ban whoever they want obviously; doesn't mean they should.

OP here. I understand that, but still think it was extremely rude - would’ve much preferred if he had texted that he had a ‘last minute emergency’ or even been honest that he didn’t see it working out rather than leaving me hanging. I went on a date last year and (as my Uber was pulling up) saw him waiting outside (he had told me what he was wearing). I was immediately unattracted to him, but still went on the date. Should I have just unmatched him and told my Uber to keep going?

I understand not tolerating blatant lying (someone’s pictures are of a bikini model and they show up and are 300 pounds) but I truly believe my photos were accurate - all were from within the last year, had full body shots, and (ironically) I was actually ten pounds heavier than I am now in a couple of them (although I am not overweight). IMO - the risk you take with online dating is that you might have to sit through a 45 minute date where you’re not sold on the person. I’ve certainly done this, but maybe I shouldn’t in the future?

[Anonymous]

^NP and I think there's a distinction between good manners and doing the right thing vs. conduct that is so egregious that it deserves a ban. I agree what he did was rude but not so egregious it warrants a ban.

I wouldn't sweat it though, I've read the whole thread and you seem like an incredibly level-headed, mature and thoughtful person. I read your responses and I'm like yeah she seems like an awesome person.

FWIW I also sit through dates so long as the person has not blatantly misrepresented themselves. To date that hasn't happened, I think, but I'm not sure, that I would walk away if I thought someone did so.