Gender Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, OP. This baby could have had a major health condition or disability, and here you are complaining about its gender. Count your blessings.


OP here. We had tests done and the baby is fine.

That was rather obvious. If that wasn't the case, you'd be complaining about much more than gender here.
Count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have an almost two year old son and I’m due with a second baby in March 2021. I just find out I’m having a girl. I’m disappointed. I really wanted two boys. I never had a great relationship with my mom and I just get along better with men. I really wanted two boys and that was it. I’m grateful to be pregnant but I’m bummed.

Well, go ahead and mourn your idea of two boys for a while, but give your little girl a chance. You don't even know her yet. I believe she will surprise you.

This was snarky for no reason. When women post about gender disappointment for having a boy instead of a girl there are always nice messages. Why not give the same support?

OP. I know it sucks but god had other plans for you. Follow his path. You will meet your baby girl and be so in love and overjoyed that you won’t care. You will be a great mom to your little girl.

Because of the self hate that it shows.

OP is a woman...but she does not want a girl? She prefers being the guy's girl surrounded by boys. And then she wonders why she does not have female friends. She will probably favor her daughter and see her as competition. It's really sad and toxic. Wanting a girl after having a boy is different - it's wanting that mother daughter relationship, especially if you already have a boy

Not OP. I have two boys and I have no self hate. There is nothing wrong with wishing you had a house full of boys or a house full of girls. Would you say this about a man who is disappointed he isn’t having a girl?

I have plenty of female friends but grew up around boys more and always wanted boys. They can be best friends. I would not favor my child or see her as competition if one of my children was a girl. You’re clearly projecting your issues on to OP.

Not every woman wants a girl, and not even man wants a son. Not every women wants a a girl to be best friends with. I’m tired of this stupid bs that women can only want a girl and vice versa. I guess the women who posted about being upset their baby is a boy and not a girl must hate men? That’s what’s you’re equating this to.

There is really something wrong with PP’s logic that she feels women only want a girl. Many women want boys and there is nothing wrong with it.

Np True there is nothing wrong with wanting boys BUT once you know you are having a girl than you should try and be open and look for the positives! The girl isn't even here and the mom is projecting drama! And personally, I don't think the first response was snarky at all. Sure, mourn what you wanted but, try to keep an open mind!

IT wasn't #boymom didn't bother to read the post and just came in looking for a fight.

Oh, thank you both! I’m that PP, and I was worried that I sounded unkind. I can see now how it might seem unkind to say go ahead and mourn, but I meant it kindly. I do think you can mourn losing the idea of the family you thought you wanted. I had plans about the children I would have. It didn’t all work out, but I wouldn’t trade my little girl for anything. There’s nothing like a new baby to change your view of what your life should be like. OP, best wishes to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going to apologize for having some level of disappointment because I feel it’s normal. There are many posts on here and other sites about women saying this about never having a a daughter or having a boy instead of a girl. I don’t know why I’m met with such hate when they are met with such love.

I don’t hate my child. I’m a planner. Have you ever had a life you envisioned for yourself and not that’s not happening? It doesn’t mean I won’t love my daughter. I never had a great relationship with my mom ( went to therapy for it) but I will be sure not to put that negative issues on to my relationship with my children.

I grew up with 4 brothers with is why I said I relate more to boys. I’m a very girly woman with lots of female friends. I see my brothers being best friends and when I had a boy, I always hoped I would have another to give him that same kind of relationship my brothers have.

We are excited and happy. I’m only 11 weeks but baby is looking good.

I’m sure as I start to get further along and shop for a little girl that I will become more excited. I have no doubt I will love this child just as much as my first.

But you had a great relationship with your drunk abusive dad? How so?

OP here. No. I don’t have a relationship with him either. I have forgiven both of them but don’t have a relationship with either of them.

Just wanted to say I am sorry about your mother and father. You deserved better and I am sure you will be a good mother to your daughter as well as you are to your son! Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

How far along are you OP? You can change your mind if you are still 1st trimester

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far along are you OP? You can change your mind if you are still 1st trimester

OP here. I’m 11 weeks but absolutely not. Abortion will never be right for me. I’m married and decided to get pregnant. How cruel of you to even suggest I kill my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far along are you OP? You can change your mind if you are still 1st trimester

OP is a baby murderer. Heartbeat begins at 6 weeks. You’re killing a human being beyond that. How evil some of you are. You want to stand up for criminals but have no problem killing innocent babies in the womb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How far along are you OP? You can change your mind if you are still 1st trimester

OP is a baby murderer. Heartbeat begins at 6 weeks. You’re killing a human being beyond that. How evil some of you are. You want to stand up for criminals but have no problem killing innocent babies in the womb.

* isn’t

[Anonymous]

I do have boys but I was also very anti having a girl, OP, so I totally get it. I have major body image issues and was worried about being a mom to a girl. Turns out I adore my boys but still worry about their body images and other things related to parenting boys.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP you should have known, gender disappointment threads on DCUM are only acceptable when you’re having a boy! Anyway I was in your shoes ago (as a matter of fact I thought someone bumped my old thread!). DC1 was a boy who I adored and found out DC2 was a girl and had a feeling of sadness. I‘m not much into “girly” things and also had a shit relationship with my mom and wanted to avoid that dynamic.

Well she’s entering first grade now and my DD has been SUCH a joy and I feel so grateful I get to be her mother. Even though we aren’t much alike I feel an incredible bond with her that has zilch to do with gender dynamics. As someone kindly wrote to me - we are NOT our mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost two year old son and I’m due with a second baby in March 2021. I just find out I’m having a girl. I’m disappointed. I really wanted two boys. I never had a great relationship with my mom and I just get along better with men. I really wanted two boys and that was it. I’m grateful to be pregnant but I’m bummed.

Well, go ahead and mourn your idea of two boys for a while, but give your little girl a chance. You don't even know her yet. I believe she will surprise you.

This was snarky for no reason. When women post about gender disappointment for having a boy instead of a girl there are always nice messages. Why not give the same support?

OP. I know it sucks but god had other plans for you. Follow his path. You will meet your baby girl and be so in love and overjoyed that you won’t care. You will be a great mom to your little girl.

This is a damn dirty lie. OPs with gender disappointment are always dragged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP you should have known, gender disappointment threads on DCUM are only acceptable when you’re having a boy! Anyway I was in your shoes ago (as a matter of fact I thought someone bumped my old thread!). DC1 was a boy who I adored and found out DC2 was a girl and had a feeling of sadness. I‘m not much into “girly” things and also had a shit relationship with my mom and wanted to avoid that dynamic.

Well she’s entering first grade now and my DD has been SUCH a joy and I feel so grateful I get to be her mother. Even though we aren’t much alike I feel an incredible bond with her that has zilch to do with gender dynamics. As someone kindly wrote to me - we are NOT our mothers.

I posted about being disappointed I was having a boy and I was dragged to hell and back. Every OP on DCUM is a jerk according to posters replying.

[Anonymous]

What annoys me about gender disappointment dissing everyone traffics in all of these really dumb stereotypes about gender expression.

[Anonymous]

I have faith, OP, that all of this will recede like a dream when you meet your baby. It sucks now, but it will fade.

[Anonymous]

I guess I just don't understand planning your life so much, or being that much of a control freak that you would be disappointed about the sex of a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What annoys me about gender disappointment dissing everyone traffics in all of these really dumb stereotypes about gender expression.

Yes.