Gender Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s an opportunity for you to create The type of relationship you never had with your mom, OP, and to mold a daughter in a different way. Sometimes the universe sends us someone or something we didn’t know we wanted or needed.

[Anonymous]

I would think hard about why you get along better with men. I dislike women that rip on women and act like men are some holy grail of achievement. You are acting like a misogynist yourself and an enforcer of patriarchy. Honestly, I am so put off by these words you wrote, that I feel sad for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s an opportunity for you to create The type of relationship you never had with your mom, OP, and to mold a daughter in a different way. Sometimes the universe sends us someone or something we didn’t know we wanted or needed.

She should not try to mold her unborn daughter, but let her become a person that she wants and needs to be. DH and I are introverts and not htat social. DD was and is the most extroverted, party and fun loving girl you can imagine. We worked hard to make sure we do not stifle her with our boring life style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel sad for a few days and then move on. Maybe you were blessed with a daughter to help you work through your issues with women. Often women that do not get along with other women have some internal issues. Hopefully your daughter will motivate you to work through those.

I agree. The need of OP to tear down her mom so much and take the side of men, is reminsicent of how men make women sound "crazy," irrational and how women are the worst enforcers of patriarchy there can be. Women ought to stick together, and not side with men. The reason some women are not the most pleasant, in some cases, not all, is that they had to put up with people like OP who rather suck up to men, instead of realizing that perhaps her mom had problems bcs she might have been labled as difficult by men who are jerks. This all sounds like OP is holding her mom to an impossible standard, while men are great because OP and our society has basically much lower expectations of men. What did men in your life do OP that your mom did not? What caused you to put men on a pedestal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feel sad for a few days and then move on. Maybe you were blessed with a daughter to help you work through your issues with women. Often women that do not get along with other women have some internal issues. Hopefully your daughter will motivate you to work through those.

I agree. The need of OP to tear down her mom so much and take the side of men, is reminsicent of how men make women sound "crazy," irrational and how women are the worst enforcers of patriarchy there can be. Women ought to stick together, and not side with men. The reason some women are not the most pleasant, in some cases, not all, is that they had to put up with people like OP who rather suck up to men, instead of realizing that perhaps her mom had problems bcs she might have been labled as difficult by men who are jerks. This all sounds like OP is holding her mom to an impossible standard, while men are great because OP and our society has basically much lower expectations of men. What did men in your life do OP that your mom did not? What caused you to put men on a pedestal?

Lol the armchair therapy on this site is priceless. OP, feel your gender disappointment but don’t hold on to it too tight. Let your daughter be born and give her a chance, I’m sure she’ll delight and enrage you like any son would, and life will go on.

[Anonymous]

Wow, op. You don't get the irony of it at all? As in history repeating itself? This time with you in the starring role of villain mother? Perhaps your mom did not start hating you while you were in her womb?! What someone said, you don't have to recreate the same dynamic? Too late. That poor baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feel sad for a few days and then move on. Maybe you were blessed with a daughter to help you work through your issues with women. Often women that do not get along with other women have some internal issues. Hopefully your daughter will motivate you to work through those.

NP here. Internal issues??? WTF?

NP here. Of course OP has issues. It's written all over her post and her weird "guy's girl" mentality.

[Anonymous]

Who you get along with should not be solely determined by if they are men or women.

This is your chance to have a strong connection with another female. Drop your pre-conceived notion about what having a girl means.

But it's ok to feel a little sad about what you'd envisioned. Just make sure it doesn't hurt your relationship with the baby you haven't even met yet (so can't possibly know if you like or dislike).

[Anonymous]

Come back in summer 2021 to tell us how in love you are with your girl. Guaranteed this too will pass. When you see the relationship your DH has with DS, or how gentle and sweet big bro will be with his baby sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost two year old son and I’m due with a second baby in March 2021. I just find out I’m having a girl. I’m disappointed. I really wanted two boys. I never had a great relationship with my mom and I just get along better with men. I really wanted two boys and that was it. I’m grateful to be pregnant but I’m bummed.

Well, go ahead and mourn your idea of two boys for a while, but give your little girl a chance. You don't even know her yet. I believe she will surprise you.

This was snarky for no reason. When women post about gender disappointment for having a boy instead of a girl there are always nice messages. Why not give the same support?

OP. I know it sucks but god had other plans for you. Follow his path. You will meet your baby girl and be so in love and overjoyed that you won’t care. You will be a great mom to your little girl.

Because of the self hate that it shows.

OP is a woman...but she does not want a girl? She prefers being the guy's girl surrounded by boys. And then she wonders why she does not have female friends. She will probably favor her daughter and see her as competition. It's really sad and toxic. Wanting a girl after having a boy is different - it's wanting that mother daughter relationship, especially if you already have a boy

Not OP. I have two boys and I have no self hate. There is nothing wrong with wishing you had a house full of boys or a house full of girls. Would you say this about a man who is disappointed he isn’t having a girl?

I have plenty of female friends but grew up around boys more and always wanted boys. They can be best friends. I would not favor my child or see her as competition if one of my children was a girl. You’re clearly projecting your issues on to OP.

Not every woman wants a girl, and not even man wants a son. Not every women wants a a girl to be best friends with. I’m tired of this stupid bs that women can only want a girl and vice versa. I guess the women who posted about being upset their baby is a boy and not a girl must hate men? That’s what’s you’re equating this to.

There is really something wrong with PP’s logic that she feels women only want a girl. Many women want boys and there is nothing wrong with it.

Np True there is nothing wrong with wanting boys BUT once you know you are having a girl than you should try and be open and look for the positives! The girl isn't even here and the mom is projecting drama! And personally, I don't think the first response was snarky at all. Sure, mourn what you wanted but, try to keep an open mind!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost two year old son and I’m due with a second baby in March 2021. I just find out I’m having a girl. I’m disappointed. I really wanted two boys. I never had a great relationship with my mom and I just get along better with men. I really wanted two boys and that was it. I’m grateful to be pregnant but I’m bummed.

Well, go ahead and mourn your idea of two boys for a while, but give your little girl a chance. You don't even know her yet. I believe she will surprise you.

This was snarky for no reason. When women post about gender disappointment for having a boy instead of a girl there are always nice messages. Why not give the same support?

OP. I know it sucks but god had other plans for you. Follow his path. You will meet your baby girl and be so in love and overjoyed that you won’t care. You will be a great mom to your little girl.

Because of the self hate that it shows.

OP is a woman...but she does not want a girl? She prefers being the guy's girl surrounded by boys. And then she wonders why she does not have female friends. She will probably favor her daughter and see her as competition. It's really sad and toxic. Wanting a girl after having a boy is different - it's wanting that mother daughter relationship, especially if you already have a boy

Not OP. I have two boys and I have no self hate. There is nothing wrong with wishing you had a house full of boys or a house full of girls. Would you say this about a man who is disappointed he isn’t having a girl?

I have plenty of female friends but grew up around boys more and always wanted boys. They can be best friends. I would not favor my child or see her as competition if one of my children was a girl. You’re clearly projecting your issues on to OP.

Not every woman wants a girl, and not even man wants a son. Not every women wants a a girl to be best friends with. I’m tired of this stupid bs that women can only want a girl and vice versa. I guess the women who posted about being upset their baby is a boy and not a girl must hate men? That’s what’s you’re equating this to.

There is really something wrong with PP’s logic that she feels women only want a girl. Many women want boys and there is nothing wrong with it.

Np True there is nothing wrong with wanting boys BUT once you know you are having a girl than you should try and be open and look for the positives! The girl isn't even here and the mom is projecting drama! And personally, I don't think the first response was snarky at all. Sure, mourn what you wanted but, try to keep an open mind!

IT wasn't #boymom didn't bother to read the post and just came in looking for a fight.

[Anonymous]

You will love it. I had a girl first (happily) and had a boy second, which I had never really thought about. That little boy is the absolute love of my life, even though his sister is pretty fabulous and always has been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost two year old son and I’m due with a second baby in March 2021. I just find out I’m having a girl. I’m disappointed. I really wanted two boys. I never had a great relationship with my mom and I just get along better with men. I really wanted two boys and that was it. I’m grateful to be pregnant but I’m bummed.

Well, go ahead and mourn your idea of two boys for a while, but give your little girl a chance. You don't even know her yet. I believe she will surprise you.

This was snarky for no reason. When women post about gender disappointment for having a boy instead of a girl there are always nice messages. Why not give the same support?

OP. I know it sucks but god had other plans for you. Follow his path. You will meet your baby girl and be so in love and overjoyed that you won’t care. You will be a great mom to your little girl.

Because of the self hate that it shows.

OP is a woman...but she does not want a girl? She prefers being the guy's girl surrounded by boys. And then she wonders why she does not have female friends. She will probably favor her daughter and see her as competition. It's really sad and toxic. Wanting a girl after having a boy is different - it's wanting that mother daughter relationship, especially if you already have a boy

Not OP. I have two boys and I have no self hate. There is nothing wrong with wishing you had a house full of boys or a house full of girls. Would you say this about a man who is disappointed he isn’t having a girl?

I have plenty of female friends but grew up around boys more and always wanted boys. They can be best friends. I would not favor my child or see her as competition if one of my children was a girl. You’re clearly projecting your issues on to OP.

Not every woman wants a girl, and not even man wants a son. Not every women wants a a girl to be best friends with. I’m tired of this stupid bs that women can only want a girl and vice versa. I guess the women who posted about being upset their baby is a boy and not a girl must hate men? That’s what’s you’re equating this to.

NP here. I would say there's something wrong with someone wishing they had a houseful of boys or a houseful of girls. I'd say there's something wrong with an adult who only wants one sex , to the point of being disappointed or in some cases angry that it's the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

I think nows a good time to start seeing a therapist and working on your childhood issues and issues with your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think nows a good time to start seeing a therapist and working on your childhood issues and issues with your mom.

+1 ASAP!