Diary of a Team Manager -- Chapter 5 -- Nightmare mom leaves the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

My kids don’t even play soccer. I just clicked on this thread because I liked the header. I am a former PTA president and all that I can say to you is that I love your post and feel your pain!

🤗👏

Very surprising that a PTA member would like this topic. Another group of people who deal in the currency of gossip and false sense of authority.

Just waiting for the HOA board member to chime in now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you people who are dumping on the OP. How are you not sympathetic to anyone who has to deal with a parent like the nightmarish one described? If you have ever been a team manager or teacher, the OP’s reports should sound sadly familiar to you. The Uber rating idea is fabulous!

OP, can we have Chapters 1-3? Also, are you considering giving the manager of the team where they are going a heads up? We are still grateful for the intervention (many years ago) of acquaintanceS who warned us to never agree to carpool with a new family on our team who lived pretty close to us. They were notorious for weaseling out of almost all of their driving duties, and that’s exactly what the families foolhardy enough to ignore the warnings had to deal with.

That’s so funny.....joining a carpool so someone else can routinely drive your kids.

Slightly OT, but there was a mom on my sons swim team like this. She would call and ask to carpool. Then I would say OK which way do you want to drive, there or back? And she would say oh no, I need you to pick up Lalo, bring him to the swim meet, then drive him home afterwards. That’s not a carpool, honey, that’s a chauffeur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you people who are dumping on the OP. How are you not sympathetic to anyone who has to deal with a parent like the nightmarish one described? If you have ever been a team manager or teacher, the OP’s reports should sound sadly familiar to you. The Uber rating idea is fabulous!

OP, can we have Chapters 1-3? Also, are you considering giving the manager of the team where they are going a heads up? We are still grateful for the intervention (many years ago) of acquaintanceS who warned us to never agree to carpool with a new family on our team who lived pretty close to us. They were notorious for weaseling out of almost all of their driving duties, and that’s exactly what the families foolhardy enough to ignore the warnings had to deal with.

That’s so funny.....joining a carpool so someone else can routinely drive your kids.

Slightly OT, but there was a mom on my sons swim team like this. She would call and ask to carpool. Then I would say OK which way do you want to drive, there or back? And she would say oh no, I need you to pick up Lalo, bring him to the swim meet, then drive him home afterwards. That’s not a carpool, honey, that’s a chauffeur.

HA! Exactly!
We “carpooled” with a family to a weeklong day camp. Every time it was their day, her son was not feeling well so they were skipping that day....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

My kids don’t even play soccer. I just clicked on this thread because I liked the header. I am a former PTA president and all that I can say to you is that I love your post and feel your pain!

🤗👏

Very surprising that a PTA member would like this topic. Another group of people who deal in the currency of gossip and false sense of authority.

Just waiting for the HOA board member to chime in now.

DP. I’ve never met an HOA board member I liked, but have had great experiences with most team managers and PTA officers. You are at least correct that both types of positions are similar (like teachers) in that they have to deal with a lot of entitled, nutjob parents. And it’s not gossip if the manager is anonymous and the crazy parent is unidentifiable, as is the case here. Keep in mind that we are talking about rec soccer too—nobody needs that kind of hassle in rec.

If you can’t locate a sense of humor and enjoy this thread, there are probably others that you should spend time on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

My kids don’t even play soccer. I just clicked on this thread because I liked the header. I am a former PTA president and all that I can say to you is that I love your post and feel your pain!

🤗👏

Very surprising that a PTA member would like this topic. Another group of people who deal in the currency of gossip and false sense of authority.

Just waiting for the HOA board member to chime in now.

DP. I’ve never met an HOA board member I liked, but have had great experiences with most team managers and PTA officers. You are at least correct that both types of positions are similar (like teachers) in that they have to deal with a lot of entitled, nutjob parents. And it’s not gossip if the manager is anonymous and the crazy parent is unidentifiable, as is the case here. Keep in mind that we are talking about rec soccer too—nobody needs that kind of hassle in rec.

If you can’t locate a sense of humor and enjoy this thread, there are probably others that you should spend time on.

Rec soccer doesn’t need a team manager. That might be your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

My kids don’t even play soccer. I just clicked on this thread because I liked the header. I am a former PTA president and all that I can say to you is that I love your post and feel your pain!

🤗👏

Very surprising that a PTA member would like this topic. Another group of people who deal in the currency of gossip and false sense of authority.

Just waiting for the HOA board member to chime in now.

Rugged individualist (middle-aged white) who very much enjoys the benefits of order and institutions while mocking those who provide them

[Anonymous]

I was a team manager for a year with one of my kids' club teams. No real issues, but then I'm a dad and I suspect that influenced what was said to me.

It is a tough line to draw, but I would encourage, if at all possible, that all team financials be disclosed. Post the bank statements on line (delete the account number) and leave it up there so whoever wants to look can do so. This is not the club financials -- those are different although if a public club they too should be on line. The only issue really is if the club is "comping" someone and they do not want to disclose it. If that is the case then the club should pony up the equivalent dough and put it in the team pot so it looks like everyone has kicked in.

Most folks won't bother to check the account, but by posting the account statements you keep everyone in line and avoid the potential of someone skimming $$. You would think that would never happen, but it does -- all the time. One of my kids' clubs had a treasurer who had taken $50K and only got caught when he was out-of-town and some checks were issued that he did not know about. The checks bounced and that triggered the issue resulting in criminal prosecution (the money was ultimately repaid).

Best to be safe and just make sure that all the $$ stuff is out there for everyone to check if they have the interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a team manager for a year with one of my kids' club teams. No real issues, but then I'm a dad and I suspect that influenced what was said to me.

It is a tough line to draw, but I would encourage, if at all possible, that all team financials be disclosed. Post the bank statements on line (delete the account number) and leave it up there so whoever wants to look can do so. This is not the club financials -- those are different although if a public club they too should be on line. The only issue really is if the club is "comping" someone and they do not want to disclose it. If that is the case then the club should pony up the equivalent dough and put it in the team pot so it looks like everyone has kicked in.

Most folks won't bother to check the account, but by posting the account statements you keep everyone in line and avoid the potential of someone skimming $$. You would think that would never happen, but it does -- all the time. One of my kids' clubs had a treasurer who had taken $50K and only got caught when he was out-of-town and some checks were issued that he did not know about. The checks bounced and that triggered the issue resulting in criminal prosecution (the money was ultimately repaid).

Best to be safe and just make sure that all the $$ stuff is out there for everyone to check if they have the interest.

OP here. Actually our financials are quite transparent. They are available for any team member to review at anytime -- except when they resign from the team. The time for her to ask was before she resigned. Actually another team member left at the same time (both girls are friends) and that mom had asked to see the financials a few weeks before she left.

I don't know that we would post a statement for all to see...but that's something we can think about. We rarely get requests to see the books.

To answer the person who called us a rec team...we are actually not rec, but not travel. Its kind of a bridge team...not as serious as travel, but you have to have the skills to make the team. We practice and play fall, winter, and spring. My daughter plays another travel sport, so this works for us.

[Anonymous]

Most organizations rarely get requests to see financials but that is also why you often see situations where someone has taken money from a kids’ organization. It’s easy to get away with it if no one can check. It’s a lot harder if bank statements are posted on the organization website and discussed at every meeting.

Sort of; “Hey, before we get started, I just want to remind everyone that our finically reports and monthly bank statements are on line at the website. Check them out. You can see my team manager fee of 1 bottle of Tangurey per month is noted. But I am happy to discuss anything else. It’s important that everyone knows where we stand.”

Most folks won’t bother but it keeps everyone in line and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

My kids don’t even play soccer. I just clicked on this thread because I liked the header. I am a former PTA president and all that I can say to you is that I love your post and feel your pain!

🤗👏

Very surprising that a PTA member would like this topic. Another group of people who deal in the currency of gossip and false sense of authority.

Just waiting for the HOA board member to chime in now.

Rugged individualist (middle-aged white) who very much enjoys the benefits of order and institutions while mocking those who provide them

Or, counterpoint. The team manager is helicopter, insecure parent who "volunteers" for a influential team position in hopes of having some level of control over their child's soccer situation. They use their position to share sideline gossip with the coach and conversely gain loyalty on the sideline by being willing to share nuggets of "inside" information from the coach to select parents who buzz around hoping to be "in the know".