Do you think parents generally have a favorite kid?

[Anonymous]

This entire discussion makes me sad...We only have one child right now (and are trying for # 2), but I really hope that I don't fall into the mentality of having a favorite. I get clicking with one child more, but having a favorite is so destructive. I know it's different, but I have two dogs and I love them both equally -- they need/want different kinds of attention, but at the end of the day they are both so special. And dogs, much like children, can tell when you have a favorite!

My sister has always been the favorite in our family and it has been incredibly detrimental to our relationship and to her. She constantly expects people to acquiesce to what she wants and appears to believe (and worse act on the belief) that she is entitled to everything, because our parents told us throughout our lives that I couldn't have something if she didn't have the same thing. It's led her to behave childishly and sometimes even selfishly and appallingly in relationships and jobs.

Love your child and focus on what about them makes your heart full.

[Anonymous]

You may want to consider you're a narcissist if it legitimately does not bother you that you have a favorite...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a favorite but I do have one I just get along with better. I think that the other might feel like I have a favorite but I love them both equally and powerfully. But I mean, its a fact of life that different personalities mesh or have more trouble.

I try to mentally frame it as a situation where I will have to work harder at having a relationship with one child but that doesn't mean I love them less, and in the end, we will earn our closeness.

This is a great way of putting it.