College Placement Disappointment from Big 3 Grads?

[Anonymous]

I see education as a very different investment than health care or other services pp. I told my daughter we'd pay for private school and now an Ivy; then, she'll have her own foundation to pay for her own house, healthcare, etc. We're building a foundation...that's a lot different than buying a service.

Your point about people on trustfunds not understanding what others go through is true. We're not on trustfunds and we bust our butts like many other Americans to do our part to try to keep the American Dream alive and well.

Even for you, there is a price above which you too will fold your cards if the family simply can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are fortunate that you can pay for 12 years of private education and 4 more years of an Ivy. Some parents busts their butts and cannot pay for the education of their children. Your butt is no tougher than those that are busting and simply cannot afford it!

I took out educational loans despite my parents busting their tails. Will your children be saddled with educational loans?

No, I don't believe in educational loans. My parents couldn't afford to pay for my college (we had 8 kids in the family) -- we didn't get loans. We lived at home and commuted to the local college. It wasn't Harvard, but most of the 8 are doing fine. A few got lost in the shuffle.

You can't judge my efforts at butt busting -- you don't know me. You have no idea what we've been through to afford all of this for our 1 kid -- so hold your judgments and violin playing.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't believe in educational loans. My parents couldn't afford to pay for my college (we had 8 kids in the family) -- we didn't get loans. We lived at home and commuted to the local college. It wasn't Harvard, but most of the 8 are doing fine. A few got lost in the shuffle.

You can't judge my efforts at butt busting -- you don't know me. You have no idea what we've been through to afford all of this for our 1 kid -- so hold your judgments and violin playing.

The local college is an option for many that cannot afford private education (college) and the Ivies. Point made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm with OP, wish I had saved my money.

I'm curious why? Was it because, in your judgment, the education wasn't $30K more than you could get in public, in terms of "extras" or simply challenge? Or because, as PP suggested, your kid frittered away the opportunity? Or because exmissions were disappointing?

There are many reasons to prefer private over public, or public over private for that matter. We switched from private to public -- in our case it was the comparability of the educations available (a top 3 school vs. MoCo magnets, but I realize not everybody lives in MoCo) . Plus the fact that we're not in the income bracket where it doesn't matter if we spend $30K on something we could get free at a similar (but certainly not identical) quality. Now that we're in public, I'm a little relieved that DCs won't be competing against all the legacies and politicos' kids for college spots - but that didn't drive our decision.

I'm just curious as to what drives the decision for people.

The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

Thanks, interesting perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

Thanks, interesting perspective.

How engaged and supportive was the college counselor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:06 - You made assumptions about our private school rationale that were not there. We were explaining OUR rationale for private school in comparison with those who send them there for other reasons. No ill thoughts re public schools.

Some people sent their kids to private for the social benefits. We do not. It is purely about education.

Maybe some posters need to be more clear - I am getting a definite vibe that labels are the most important thing.

I'm 15:06, and I guess I don't completely get this. You definitely implied that private nurtured love of learning, and that you couldn't get it in public.

Also, I don't know if anybody sends their kids to private *just* for the social benefits. Maybe in a list of other reasons, like better social studies and art, with social benefits being somewhere down the list. I'll let the others speak for themselves, though.

(FWIW, we had two in private, but both are now in public. Both are having better experiences, and in DS' case more enthusiasm for learning, than they had in private. I know, I know, it depends on what your local public options are.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

Thanks, interesting perspective.

How engaged and supportive was the college counselor?

Actually, the college counselor is very supportive. It's almost funny, our team of counselors are very polished, professional and decent, they admonished a student not to apply to a certain ivy because they knew without a doubt she would be rejected. This student received 2 "Fs" junior year; nevertheless, applied and was accepted early.

[Anonymous]

Maybe we are in the minority, but based on comparisons to our friends whose children are in MoCo public or DCPS, I can see a difference in "love of learning" between the kids at our private school. This is NOT a difference in ability, or anything like that. I think teaching to the test and the other negative results of NCLB have a dragging influence in the classroom.

We are not in a private school for social connections, exmissions or other superficial reasons. From what I can tell, most of our children's classmates/families share similar values. It is worth the money and sacrifice from my standpoint.

But hey, it works for us, and everyone makes their own decisions for what is best for their children and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we are in the minority, but based on comparisons to our friends whose children are in MoCo public or DCPS, I can see a difference in "love of learning" between the kids at our private school. This is NOT a difference in ability, or anything like that. I think teaching to the test and the other negative results of NCLB have a dragging influence in the classroom.

We are not in a private school for social connections, exmissions or other superficial reasons. From what I can tell, most of our children's classmates/families share similar values. It is worth the money and sacrifice from my standpoint.

But hey, it works for us, and everyone makes their own decisions for what is best for their children and families.

Sounds like this deep "love of learning" will translate into excellent AP & SAT scores or are your children setup so that they are exempt from taking them?

[Anonymous]

I think you and your self righteous "love of learning" are full of crap. Since you are so sure that your way is the only way, I wonder how you would explain all the children from public school who actually end up going to top colleges. Apparently you and your precious little darlings don't have a monopoly on having a "love of learning".

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we are in the minority, but based on comparisons to our friends whose children are in MoCo public or DCPS, I can see a difference in "love of learning" between the kids at our private school. This is NOT a difference in ability, or anything like that. I think teaching to the test and the other negative results of NCLB have a dragging influence in the classroom.

We are not in a private school for social connections, exmissions or other superficial reasons. From what I can tell, most of our children's classmates/families share similar values. It is worth the money and sacrifice from my standpoint.

But hey, it works for us, and everyone makes their own decisions for what is best for their children and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

Thanks, interesting perspective.

How engaged and supportive was the college counselor?

Actually, the college counselor is very supportive. It's almost funny, our team of counselors are very polished, professional and decent, they admonished a student not to apply to a certain ivy because they knew without a doubt she would be rejected. This student received 2 "Fs" junior year; nevertheless, applied and was accepted early.

2 Fs junior year and accepted at an Ivy? Recruited athlete? How is that possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


The education just wasn't worth the money. DD would have been fine at a decent public school. And no, she didn't fritter the opportunity away. The opportunity was just okay, housed in beautiful facilities at a school with an overrated reputation. She has great grades and her SAT scores are over 2250 and that's without tutoring, first attempt. Exmissions: we're currently in wait and see mode. Now she's competing against classmates' connections and legacies. It's just darling to hear that her classmates brag about the family's connections at this or that school.

Thanks, interesting perspective.

How engaged and supportive was the college counselor?

Actually, the college counselor is very supportive. It's almost funny, our team of counselors are very polished, professional and decent, they admonished a student not to apply to a certain ivy because they knew without a doubt she would be rejected. This student received 2 "Fs" junior year; nevertheless, applied and was accepted early.

2 Fs junior year and accepted at an Ivy? Recruited athlete? How is that possible?

Not a recruited athlete. Parent is a school board member and the other parent had a connection to the college's president.

[Anonymous]

We are currently in private. It's academically more challenging in many ways but DC pines to go back to public for high school. We probably will. I'm very glad DC will have experienced both. Private does have a gated-community island-of-perfection disconnect to it.

[Anonymous]

I went to public. Top test scores in the state in elementary school, gifted program later (once we had one), top college early decision(whatever the term for a non-Ivy college on the US News Top 5 list for a liberal arts school is), crappy grad school (partial scholarship) but I knocked it out of the park and got a top job in my field. I work very hard every day, just like many people with all sorts of backgrounds do. I did not come from money and borrowed my way through grad school (except for what the scholarship covered).

I was raised that grades and never messing up are the very most important thing in life. Don't get an A? You have to drop out of the school play. Dent Mom's car? Lose your driver's license. Get a C because you can't stand that crabby English teacher? Grounded - totally - no TV, no phone, no nothing - for 6 months. NOT GOOD ENOUGH - MUST TRY HARDER.

But here's the thing: While I was busy trying harder, I never learned to paint, to dance, to laugh, to make real friends. School was always sink or swim, both in grades and socially. There was no such thing as "service learning" or "social learning."

DC#1 is at a private. As a first grader, the painting and other art skills already surpass mine. The interest in music is amazing. The delight in all sorts of things is a wonder. The e-mails I get about what "social unit" is being focused on that week or month seem like good things. Yes, it's an academic school, but it is more. I feel already that DC#1 has more paths open that lead to happiness. I really don't care about exmissions.

I know nothing about modern public schools; I graduated from mine more than 25 years ago. We live in DC. I bought the party line in our neighborhood about not sending the kids to public without checking into it. All I know is that I am very happy with my child's school, that I hope it works out as well for DC#2, and that I never want to teach my kids that all they are is the last grades they got, the last bonuses they made, the school names on their diplomas, or the prestige of the companies for which they work. The gift my children have given me is that I am finally good enough. I have many titles and roles, but my very favorite one is Momma. I hope their very favorite ones are their own names.