This is really bad, right? (husband behavior)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also hate peas but could have eaten around as well!

Peas have almost no taste to them!

[Anonymous]

NP but I’ll bite.
On the surface the behavior sounds ridiculous. And of course it’s rude—but you already know that, OP. And so does your DH.
But we also don’t know your household dynamic. Is your husband’s strong aversion to peas something that your son and all of you are aware of? If yes, is it possible that your DS specifically prepared a meal with peas in it as a passive-aggressive “f&$@ you” to DH and DH decided to respond in a similarly passive aggressive way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also hate peas but could have eaten around as well!

Peas have almost no taste to them!

I think OP’s DH was rude, but the idea that peas have no taste is just wrong. The only good thing about peas is that they’re easy to pick out of food. They have weird texture and the flavor is very noticeable in an otherwise pleasant dish.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand grow-ups refusing the eat certain foods. I get that you like or dislike certain foods. But the notion that you would have to spit it out if it entered your mouth is toddler behavior.

DH is a man child. VEry rude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn that’s rude.

I don’t like peas either. I would eat around them.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really bad in abusive? No.

Is it disrespectful to your son? Incredibly immature? Setting a terrible example? Yes yes and yes.

What a self-centered idiot.

Great kid to be contributing to the family by cooking. I am glad he takes after you, not his father.

[Anonymous]

This strikes me as incredibly rude and immature. And disgusting to boot! Your poor son.

[Anonymous]

Wow you married this pig?

[Anonymous]

Bizarre and rude. I also loathe peas. But you know what? They're really easy to pick out. And if necessary, they are one of the few foods you can swallow whole without chewing. That's how I coped as a kid and incidentally how I learned to swallow pills. Was there some back story here, like DH specifically asked the dish not to include peas and DS ignored him? Even then it's stupid for an adult to behave this way but at least it would be slightly comprehensible if immature and still rude. Did you ask DH what the heck he was doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teenage son made us (whole family) a chicken casserole for lunch. It had peas in it. Dh doesn't like peas. So instead of sitting down to eat, he stood at the kitchen sink so when he got a bite of casserole with a pea in it, he could just spit it directly into the sink.

He thinks this is fine since he doesn't like peas.

Is your husband 5? Hell my 10 year old son would know not to act like this.

[Anonymous]

So why did you husband want to make a statement? I think he's jealous of a young man cooking and making his mother happy.
It will happen again.

[Anonymous]

It’s disrespectful to put peas in knowing he does not like them. Reverse it, if your son didn’t like peas, would you make him something with peas?

[Anonymous]

Wow. What a douchebag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it’s obnoxious. Not everyone likes peas but it’s not like they have a particularly strong taste. So your DH is basically registering a protest vote that his own preferences weren’t being catered to, and discouraging your son from cooking again in the process.

You should have told him to sit down and that he’d get a lollipop at the end if he ate his meal.

So much this. Men shouldn't be excused from polite behavior.

My DH has extreme food preferences and he wouldn't pull this kind of dick move. He may choose to have only a few bites of a dish our DS prepared, but he would praise DS's effort and encourage him to do more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spitting the peas out is going that extra mile to communicate unambiguous disgust. Your teenage son isn't likely to forget that visual, which is probably what your husband intended.

Sad putdown of something nice that your son did for the family. Seems like your husband doesn't like his son very much.

OP, just writing to add a question: how are you helping your son manage his feelings about this?

"Manage his feelings?" OP wants to raise a man.

JFC. Men have feelings. Mature men learn to manage their feelings. Immature men who don't learn to manage their feelings do dick things like spit peas into the sink instead of thanking their growing son for providing for the family.