“School is not childcare”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real issue is that you are graciously providing free childcare and in return they decided it is appropriate to crap on your life choices. What a-holes!

Saying they want their kids to participate in their online schooling is not crapping on OP’s life choices. OP may not have the bandwidth to do it, in which case the sister can remove her kids from OP’s care, which it seems like she’s doing.

From the OP: "her husband wrote me a strongly worded email about how homeschooling is good enough for my kids but not theirs"

Huh? OP homeschools by choice, I assume. Her SIL and BIL don't want that. I really doubt he said "good enough for your kids but not mine." He probably said "we want them to do the online curriculum from their school." OP is projecting.

Or "That might work for your family/kids, but it won't work for ours." And how much was OP pushing the homeschooling/denigrating the school or DL? Or did they decline the homeschooling and OP wouldn't "graciously" accept it?

In any case, OP said that she would not provide childcare, or full-time childcare, if they didn't do the homeschooling, and so S/BIL made an alternative plan. What else should they have done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so massively STUPID.

Premise: Adults need to work. Can we accept that?

Ok, what is one necessary prerequisite for that? Kids need somewhere to be for large portions of the day. This is the case for the vast majority of jobs.

Another premise: Children need to be educated. That is not only objectively true, but it is also the law.

Put those two things together and you get the following: Schools act for two purposes:

1. To educate kids

2. For them ONE POSSIBLE to have a place to be DURING A PARENT’S WORK HOURS, so adults can work.

Fixes that for you. Not all parents work during daylight hours. How do schools accommodate single parents who work the night shift or afternoons ? As far as I know schools aren’t running alternate schedules for them. They also don’t provide childcare for parents who work weekends and holidays.

I work night shift. DS being at school allows me to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

+1. A lot of parents sure seem to treat it that way. Even worse, so many parents don't know how to relate to their own children and want to pawn them off on whoever they can. It's like they don't know how to relate to their own kids and can't wait to get away from them. They can't hide their disinterest.

[Anonymous]

OP’s sister and BIL sound like users to me. Op was within her rights to say having your kids do DL at their school while I homeschool mine is t working for my family. She has a right to be concerned about her parents who have volunteered to watch the grandkids. Will likely affect her own children’s ability to spend time with grandparents. She doesn’t get to say whether her parents babysit her nieces/nephews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real issue is that you are graciously providing free childcare and in return they decided it is appropriate to crap on your life choices. What a-holes!

Saying they want their kids to participate in their online schooling is not crapping on OP’s life choices. OP may not have the bandwidth to do it, in which case the sister can remove her kids from OP’s care, which it seems like she’s doing.

From the OP: "her husband wrote me a strongly worded email about how homeschooling is good enough for my kids but not theirs"

Huh? OP homeschools by choice, I assume. Her SIL and BIL don't want that. I really doubt he said "good enough for your kids but not mine." He probably said "we want them to do the online curriculum from their school." OP is projecting.

Or "That might work for your family/kids, but it won't work for ours." And how much was OP pushing the homeschooling/denigrating the school or DL? Or did they decline the homeschooling and OP wouldn't "graciously" accept it?

In any case, OP said that she would not provide childcare, or full-time childcare, if they didn't do the homeschooling, and so S/BIL made an alternative plan. What else should they have done?

+1

Guessing this is one of those stories that sounds pretty different from the other side..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

EXACTLY. Of course one of the functions that school serves is to take care of children. I, too, think DCUM is weirdly obsessed with thinking this isn't the case and there is something wrong with a parent who took a job assuming their kids would be in school during certain hours M-F.

Schools do not exist to be childcare. It is a fact. Insisting that schools start up again to be childcare is outrageously selfish and entitled.

I do not personally need schools for childcare because I’m rich. But I can look around and see we as a society need school as childcare.

Childcare and schools should be distinct from one another. Just because school conveniently coincides with many working hours does not make it child care.

It’s like blurring the line between patient and customer in a physicians office. If you’re a customer, then you decide what prescriptions a doctor writes for you. If you’re a patient, you collaborate with the doc, who doesn’t just write you scripts as you demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

Agreed.

It’s the same people who shriek about how “I’m not taking care of anyone but my family” as though they don’t live in a society.

100! The refrain of "don't have children if you can't take care of them" after "school is not childcare" makes no sense AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I think people are really saying with “school is not childcare”:

I as a teacher should not be forced into a dangerous environment just because you have to go to work, when we can still accomplish learning online instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

EXACTLY. Of course one of the functions that school serves is to take care of children. I, too, think DCUM is weirdly obsessed with thinking this isn't the case and there is something wrong with a parent who took a job assuming their kids would be in school during certain hours M-F.

Schools do not exist to be childcare. It is a fact. Insisting that schools start up again to be childcare is outrageously selfish and entitled.

I do not personally need schools for childcare because I’m rich. But I can look around and see we as a society need school as childcare.

Childcare and schools should be distinct from one another. Just because school conveniently coincides with many working hours does not make it child care.

It’s like blurring the line between patient and customer in a physicians office. If you’re a customer, then you decide what prescriptions a doctor writes for you. If you’re a patient, you collaborate with the doc, who doesn’t just write you scripts as you demand.

You are splitting hairs and you know it.

[Anonymous]

You come across as a little too willing to always speak your mind. It's really not your place to judge your grown parents' decision to help their grandkids out during school closure. They know the risk and can decide for themselves whether that's something they are willing to do.

Homeschooling might be a great solution for you, but that doesn't mean it is right for everyone.

And no you don't need to "explain this nicely to your working sister". There's no right or wrong to the idea of school as childcare. It may not be officially childcare and you can't equate a teacher to a nanny. But it's fair that parents have taken full time job in reliance upon the fact that children are provided for in a safe environment during working hours - and have for generations. There's no explaining that you need to do. You just need to bite your tongue and let other adults make their own choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I think people are really saying with “school is not childcare”:

I as a teacher should not be forced into a dangerous environment just because you have to go to work, when we can still accomplish learning online instead.

This argument is so insulting to teachers. Learning online is not the same as being in a classroom with a professional. People think they're defending teachers, but they're really disrespecting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I think people are really saying with “school is not childcare”:

I as a teacher should not be forced into a dangerous environment just because you have to go to work, when we can still accomplish learning online instead.

This argument is so insulting to teachers. Learning online is not the same as being in a classroom with a professional. People think they're defending teachers, but they're really disrespecting them.

Yep. The level of disrespect for teachers is higher than previously realized. (Not a teacher.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I think people are really saying with “school is not childcare”:

I as a teacher should not be forced into a dangerous environment just because you have to go to work, when we can still accomplish learning online instead.

This argument is so insulting to teachers. Learning online is not the same as being in a classroom with a professional. People think they're defending teachers, but they're really disrespecting them.

Well I’m the one who wrote it and in a teacher so I certainly didn’t mean to insult myself. My point is that I personally feel that going back to work will be a health risk to me and my family and I don’t want to be forced to do it just because parents need to get back to work and I provide their child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

EXACTLY. Of course one of the functions that school serves is to take care of children. I, too, think DCUM is weirdly obsessed with thinking this isn't the case and there is something wrong with a parent who took a job assuming their kids would be in school during certain hours M-F.

Schools do not exist to be childcare. It is a fact. Insisting that schools start up again to be childcare is outrageously selfish and entitled.

I do not personally need schools for childcare because I’m rich. But I can look around and see we as a society need school as childcare.

Childcare and schools should be distinct from one another. Just because school conveniently coincides with many working hours does not make it child care.

It’s like blurring the line between patient and customer in a physicians office. If you’re a customer, then you decide what prescriptions a doctor writes for you. If you’re a patient, you collaborate with the doc, who doesn’t just write you scripts as you demand.

You are splitting hairs and you know it.

I am not splitting hairs. The way you perceive the relationship has a big effect on the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School is, of course, childcare, and our entire economy is built around that assumption. I have no idea why DCUM is obsessed with this fiction.

+1. A lot of parents sure seem to treat it that way. Even worse, so many parents don't know how to relate to their own children and want to pawn them off on whoever they can. It's like they don't know how to relate to their own kids and can't wait to get away from them. They can't hide their disinterest.

And here's a perfect example of shaming working parents who have structured their lives based on the long-established fact of compulsory education.

Also, "disinterest" doesn't mean "lack of interest." It means "lack of bias."