How Do We Know if We Can Afford a Kid in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice from a few years in:

Learn to repair your own house. It’s amazing how many bad contractors are out there. Many have 5-star reviews because they are timely, courteous, and the job looks pretty. We have found that it’s often not up to code. My husband does 95% of the work on our house, and it has saved us a TON of money. Start researching home repairs now, and get familiar with code in your state. That way, when you go to buy a home, you will be looking with educated eyes. Not only will you avoid buying a money pit, you’ll save on repairs.

In addition, prioritize paying down debt and having an emergency fund.

One kid is 50 times easier than two. I was shocked. If the time comes and you can’t swing two, you’ll love your one and only. Promise.

You sound very responsible. I know you will make good choices.

How did you learn to repair your own house? I’d like to be able to do this but I know nothing at all. Not relevant right now because I’m a renter, but hopefully relevant one day.

[Anonymous]

YouTube and Google. And buy some of those books at Home Depot.

[Anonymous]

You have the kid. If your life adjusts afterward, so be it.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to buy a house to have a kid. DH and I just paid off our student loans and we have a 3 year old and another on the way. Plenty of families in our apartment building. We will buy one eventually but if we had waited til we had enough money to own a home in a good school district we never would have had kids. That’s just bad advice. The cost of homes here is absolutely insane. And also getting a high paying job is not a recipe for success. More important is a flexible job that gives you balance so you can be a good parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the kid. If your life adjusts afterward, so be it.

This. The first leap into parenthood is the biggest. Then its just a question of family size how many more kids you want and can afford. In terms of affordability if you can swing for a 3 bedroom house go for that as it will be much better setup having baby to have an extra guest room or playroom and then you can also expand your family to another kid or two easily without needing a bigger house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to buy a house to have a kid. DH and I just paid off our student loans and we have a 3 year old and another on the way. Plenty of families in our apartment building. We will buy one eventually but if we had waited til we had enough money to own a home in a good school district we never would have had kids. That’s just bad advice. The cost of homes here is absolutely insane. And also getting a high paying job is not a recipe for success. More important is a flexible job that gives you balance so you can be a good parent.

+1

We are IB for a good school in an apartment building with tons of families.

[Anonymous]

The problem with having a baby before you own a house or condo here is that it's super hard to save for the down payment while you're paying for daycare. And as soon as you finish daycare, you need to start saving for college and retirement. And once you have a kid you need to buy life insurance.

[Anonymous]

I wish most people in America thought like the OP. I’m serous.

[Anonymous]

*serious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advice from a few years in:

Learn to repair your own house. It’s amazing how many bad contractors are out there. Many have 5-star reviews because they are timely, courteous, and the job looks pretty. We have found that it’s often not up to code. My husband does 95% of the work on our house, and it has saved us a TON of money. Start researching home repairs now, and get familiar with code in your state. That way, when you go to buy a home, you will be looking with educated eyes. Not only will you avoid buying a money pit, you’ll save on repairs.

In addition, prioritize paying down debt and having an emergency fund.

One kid is 50 times easier than two. I was shocked. If the time comes and you can’t swing two, you’ll love your one and only. Promise.

You sound very responsible. I know you will make good choices.

DH started by reading three how-to books. I think one was by Black and Decker. Another was by Reader’s Digest. Any reputable publisher will do. The point is to read three, so that when two disagree, you have a tie breaker. Avoid a YouTube until you read published materials. There’s a lot of junk online. One of the most popular videos on how to change a headlight on your car instructs you to remove the entire bumper. The author has restricted comments on the video, so professionals can’t tell you that it’s rubbish. People see that it has many views and just trust it. We saw a neighbor changing his headlight with the bumper off one time. It was so sad. After you’ve read through the manuals and local code, you should know enough to just YouTube it and pick. the best video to refresh your memory. It was an arduous process for DH, but contractors are always impressed by his work. I’ve hired guys to check behind him multiple times, and they’ve never found anything wrong.

How did you learn to repair your own house? I’d like to be able to do this but I know nothing at all. Not relevant right now because I’m a renter, but hopefully relevant one day.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Again, but without the blue:

DH started by reading three how-to books. I think one was by Black and Decker. Another was by Reader’s Digest. Any reputable publisher will do. The point is to read three, so that when two disagree, you have a tie breaker. Avoid a YouTube until you read published materials. There’s a lot of junk online. One of the most popular videos on how to change a headlight on your car instructs you to remove the entire bumper. The author has restricted comments on the video, so professionals can’t tell you that it’s rubbish. People see that it has many views and just trust it. We saw a neighbor changing his headlight with the bumper off one time. It was so sad. After you’ve read through the manuals and local code, you should know enough to just YouTube it and pick. the best video to refresh your memory. It was an arduous process for DH, but contractors are always impressed by his work. I’ve hired guys to check behind him multiple times, and they’ve never found anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

I should add that lots of guys get away with just looking on YouTube, and their stuff turns out okay. DH just wants it done correctly. There’s lots of gray areas between paying someone to do EVERYTHING, and beating the pros.

I should mention that after years at this, there are still things that DH won’t do. Masonry is hard to do neatly, roofing is too dangerous, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish most people in America thought like the OP. I’m serous.

+1

In the world!

[Anonymous]

Having a kid before $250k HHI is very tight. And bordering on irresponsible. Focus on improving your incomes.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid on 240k income. Wife was SAH but we still used an expensive daycare (her insistence). Bought a house in the poor part of Chevy Chase. Didn't learn to fix anything like a PP suggested - I don't trust people to do their own repairs and wish there would be a big sign on all houses as to whether the seller had a husband who thought they were Mr. Fix It (it'll come back to haunt you 5-10 years later). Had two cars with 2% interest car payments for 5 years - $85k in cars total. Traveled internationally 1-2 time per year. It was fine. A little tight, not a lot of eating out. But doable. Just realized though that this was 10 years ago so with inflation it might be a bit tougher today.