Push gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ideally a husband would sincerely be grateful for the sacrifice his wife made and would come up with a thoughtful gesture on his own but since men aren’t thoughtful it comes off as transactional.

1st, the wife is not making a "sacrifice" in any real way because the woman often sought out a man with the express intent to make a child. She isn't doing it against her will for the soul benefit of the man.

I sacrificed my ability to cough without peeing, among many other unpleasant things. DH wanted kids more than I did. He gave me very thoughtful gifts that reflected his gratitude.

Luckily we are in agreement. Hopefully you and your spouse share a view on this as well.

So you charged him rent for using your reproductive organs?

How lovely for your children to know they came at a price (and that you would have forgone having them if he did not pony up enough jewels or cash). Pretty twisted view on family.
But like you said, you two sound very well suited to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never heard of this until now. What is it?

It's part of the cult of motherhood, celebrated in small, affluent corners of the country like DCUM.

And given a truly repulsive name that for some reason excludes children not born vaginally. I guess if you have a C-section, you have to return the gift?

[Anonymous]

I never heard of it until I received one. My husband disappeared for a few hours while we were still the hospital and then came back with a piece of jewelry. It was a necklace with our child's birthstone. Didn't expect it but thought it was a thoughtful gesture.

[Anonymous]

This is something wealthy people do. I never heard of this until a plastic surgeon’s wife mentioned it. It sounds so smarmy.

[Anonymous]

People with money but no breeding or values may do this ...

but I do not believe that people with old money do this.

Unless you want to equate it to not having your head chopped off because you delivered a male heir to the king.

Hopefully, we have evolved beyond that, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never heard of it until I received one. My husband disappeared for a few hours while we were still the hospital and then came back with a piece of jewelry. It was a necklace with our child's birthstone. Didn't expect it but thought it was a thoughtful gesture.

Your husband is very thoughtful. IMO, this is the most appropriate “push gift.”

[Anonymous]

I prefer the term “baby bauble” to “push gift.” Push gift just sounds crass.

[Anonymous]

I didn't get one, but yeah, it would have been nice for my (now ex) to have done something thoughtful to mark the occasion. Yes, I was grateful beyond anything to have a beautiful, healthy child. But having someone do something a little special to say "good for you, you did a great job" and "we're in this together and I love you for it" - well, that's pretty meaningful. The term may be crass, but the idea of one spouse buying something thoughtful for the other to mark a special occasion certainly is not new or crass or showy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$1000 - $2000 item.

+ 3

+ 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Face mask.

Oooooh - purchase link please!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get one, but yeah, it would have been nice for my (now ex) to have done something thoughtful to mark the occasion. Yes, I was grateful beyond anything to have a beautiful, healthy child. But having someone do something a little special to say "good for you, you did a great job" and "we're in this together and I love you for it" - well, that's pretty meaningful. The term may be crass, but the idea of one spouse buying something thoughtful for the other to mark a special occasion certainly is not new or crass or showy.

We are in this together but one of us should buy the other an expensive gift??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ideally a husband would sincerely be grateful for the sacrifice his wife made and would come up with a thoughtful gesture on his own but since men aren’t thoughtful it comes off as transactional.

1st, the wife is not making a "sacrifice" in any real way because the woman often sought out a man with the express intent to make a child. She isn't doing it against her will for the soul benefit of the man.

I sacrificed my ability to cough without peeing, among many other unpleasant things. DH wanted kids more than I did. He gave me very thoughtful gifts that reflected his gratitude.

Luckily we are in agreement. Hopefully you and your spouse share a view on this as well.

So you charged him rent for using your reproductive organs?

How lovely for your children to know they came at a price (and that you would have forgone having them if he did not pony up enough jewels or cash). Pretty twisted view on family.
But like you said, you two sound very well suited to each other.

My husband expressed his gratitude in a thoughtful way. The raging reaction to a spouse making a thoughtful gesture really does explain why DCUM has so many threads about their miserable marriages though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with money but no breeding or values may do this ...

but I do not believe that people with old money do this.

Unless you want to equate it to not having your head chopped off because you delivered a male heir to the king.

Hopefully, we have evolved beyond that, no?

Actually baby gifts have always been common in the upper classes, predating the founding of America and stretching forward to today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with money but no breeding or values may do this ...

but I do not believe that people with old money do this.

Unless you want to equate it to not having your head chopped off because you delivered a male heir to the king.

Hopefully, we have evolved beyond that, no?

Actually baby gifts have always been common in the upper classes, predating the founding of America and stretching forward to today.

Baby gifts not push presents, and in Europe they don't do showers but give gifts after the baby is born!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with money but no breeding or values may do this ...

but I do not believe that people with old money do this.

Unless you want to equate it to not having your head chopped off because you delivered a male heir to the king.

Hopefully, we have evolved beyond that, no?

Actually baby gifts have always been common in the upper classes, predating the founding of America and stretching forward to today.

Baby gifts not push presents, and in Europe they don't do showers but give gifts after the baby is born!

Baby gifts from father to mother after the baby was born, a push present by any definition.