Registered users only soccer thread/forum

[Anonymous]

I would not want to register. It would be too easy to figure who you and your kid/s are. I came across a few posts that I easily ID as someone on my kid’s team. I am glad they are not registered. If they want to ask about a new club, a coach, a question they are uncomfortable asking the coach, etc they deserve privacy.

I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

[Anonymous]

Registering this forum would kill it. There are two forums on this board that require it.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/82.page
Started 3/11/2019 number of threads 19
Dead

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/43.page
and deader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to register. It would be too easy to figure who you and your kid/s are. I came across a few posts that I easily ID as someone on my kid’s team. I am glad they are not registered. If they want to ask about a new club, a coach, a question they are uncomfortable asking the coach, etc they deserve privacy.

I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

And this is precisely why registered user forums work. The fear of someone finding out who you are keeps the conversations civil. We have far too many instances where kids and/or coaches are named here. If you afraid of being identified, perhaps you would think twice about posting that nasty rumor or less than constructive criticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to register. It would be too easy to figure who you and your kid/s are. I came across a few posts that I easily ID as someone on my kid’s team. I am glad they are not registered. If they want to ask about a new club, a coach, a question they are uncomfortable asking the coach, etc they deserve privacy.

I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

And this is precisely why registered user forums work. The fear of someone finding out who you are keeps the conversations civil. We have far too many instances where kids and/or coaches are named here. If you afraid of being identified, perhaps you would think twice about posting that nasty rumor or less than constructive criticism.

Civil isn’t always honest though. The appeal of this site, for all the warts is it is pretty unfiltered. I prefer that over non-stop civility. Most people are civil and a few carry a grudge and that isn’t going to stop just because they logged in.

Repeat to yourself “it’s just kids soccer” and you’ll be ok.

And frankly, you are new here, the longer you’re around the quicker you can pick out the BS from the truth and the quicker you can pick out the rival grudges. And, yes, even the grudges carry truth and info on both sides.

And lastly, SoCal and Big Soccer Forums are excellent sites for discussing more macro soccer things as well as generic tactical or developmental issues parents have. DCUM is extremely local focused and is more gossip based. It is a tabloid and that is its appeal. Everyone knows multiple people at different clubs so logging in would kill the exchange.

[Anonymous]

Have both versions and see which one lives or dies. Maybe they can live side by side in harmony. However, I guarantee that the users of the Registered blog will always come over to the free and open Anonymous blog because they couldn't resist, and they would secretly skulk and post. Oh the hypocrisy.

Posters on here do an overall good job of regulating each other with some occasional spurts of craziness around big events or issues. The lengthy coronavirus lockdown, closure of DA, no tryouts, and uncertain future of youth and college sports, have collectively brought about a crazy time for all of us. Once we get into some type of new normal, this blog will do the same. Enjoy your freedom of speech and use it wisely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Registering this forum would kill it. There are two forums on this board that require it.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/82.page
Started 3/11/2019 number of threads 19
Dead

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/43.page
and deader

Jeff may find that preferable to the current dumpster fire. If people don’t want registration required, they need to stop acting like such dicks that the headache of moderating the forum outweighs the ad revenue it generates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to register. It would be too easy to figure who you and your kid/s are. I came across a few posts that I easily ID as someone on my kid’s team. I am glad they are not registered. If they want to ask about a new club, a coach, a question they are uncomfortable asking the coach, etc they deserve privacy.

I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

And this is precisely why registered user forums work. The fear of someone finding out who you are keeps the conversations civil. We have far too many instances where kids and/or coaches are named here. If you afraid of being identified, perhaps you would think twice about posting that nasty rumor or less than constructive criticism.

Interesting response. You do not engage me on the points I raise but accuse me of posting “nasty rumors” or “less than constructive criticism”? Is it because I disagree with registering? I feel that is a fairly nasty response to my post.

Here is the thing. Report the offending posts or better yet ignore them. Also if you are so supportive of user names, use one when you post. As for this topic, privacy and the free flow of information is more important vs policing a few trolls.

[Blutarski]

Anonymous wrote:Registering this forum would kill it.

The idea would be to establish a parallel forum as was done previously.

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to register. It would be too easy to figure who you and your kid/s are. I came across a few posts that I easily ID as someone on my kid’s team. I am glad they are not registered. If they want to ask about a new club, a coach, a question they are uncomfortable asking the coach, etc they deserve privacy.
I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

Why do you think having a username is equivalent to posting your kids details? It's not like Jeff is going to fork over your name and email address when someone gets upset at your post. As he has discussed in his AMA, if things are bad enough to subpoena for info, they're going to find you either way. The ultimate remedy is just to not post stupid stuff at all.

And frankly, you are new here, the longer you’re around the quicker you can pick out the BS from the truth and the quicker you can pick out the rival grudges. And, yes, even the grudges carry truth and info on both sides.

Not new here by a long shot. Regarding BS, if there was 10% BS and 90% truth, that would be fine. But's not, it's probably closer to the other way around.

And lastly, SoCal and Big Soccer Forums are excellent sites for discussing more macro soccer things as well as generic tactical or developmental issues parents have. DCUM is extremely local focused and is more gossip based. It is a tabloid and that is its appeal. Everyone knows multiple people at different clubs so logging in would kill the exchange.

Why can't we have both? Logging in might help separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak.

Have both versions and see which one lives or dies. Maybe they can live side by side in harmony. However, I guarantee that the users of the Registered blog will always come over to the free and open Anonymous blog because they couldn't resist, and they would secretly skulk and post. Oh the hypocrisy.

Yes! at least we could try it. If the registered list dies, so be it. And yes, I agree, registered users will always skulk around, it is human nature.

Make it Facebook authenticated and identified and watch how polite and civil these forums become in comparison. There will still be some who smear clubs, but at least you can validate their affiliations. With anon or “registered” anon there’s no way to validate anything anyone says here

Most of the complaints posted are of the variety, "omigosh, what if I am identified, I wouldn't want that" variety. Facebook authentication would be one more step down that path. It would certainly almost eliminate frivolous posting. But many people are not on facebook, or hate it. I think in the end, you would only have a handful of people willing to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know a few coaches from big clubs that read this board. One was pissed and was asking around about stuff that was posted here. If you want to register put your kids name, age, club and team in your user name because that’s what you will be doing.

This comment interests me for a couple of reasons. Was the information posted in that case true or false?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two sides to every story.

Every time I make a constructive criticism or I input a personal feeling I have towards a clubs then I am automatically a troll. It almost feels like people here have no freedom to voice a opinion or tell you how they had a experience at another club because you might have die hard fans who are ready to troll themselves.

Would you post exactly the same content if you were real world identifiable? If not, why? When I post about clubs or coaches, I try to stick to the facts and my impressions. I would feel comfortable with those opinions if i had to log in with Facebook. I have a sense many posters here wouldn’t have the same level of comfort, and that’s precisely the issue here.

Gossip is a reason for forums like this there doesn't have to be facts to everything

Maybe someone knows a club might go under and tell people to prepare themselves look at all the GOSSIP about the end of DA and how everyone said where are the facts and people like you wouldn't have allowed it

So you wouldn’t feel comfortable posting “gossip” in your name. Got it.

My vote is for Facebook identity or fully anon then. There’s little benefit to registering if gossips trying to get a faceless points across will go through whatever lengths possible to do it while people who are thoughtful and post relevant, factual information won’t bother going to half that length. There’s a reason why complaints and griping are over represented on anon forums (registered anon or not). Some people are merciless and relentless. I don’t think their voices should be magnified here, where the noise tends to drown them out now.

Yes, because you can’t create fake FB accounts. So many insecure parents on here. It is so funny to see people’s reactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two sides to every story.

Every time I make a constructive criticism or I input a personal feeling I have towards a clubs then I am automatically a troll. It almost feels like people here have no freedom to voice a opinion or tell you how they had a experience at another club because you might have die hard fans who are ready to troll themselves.

Would you post exactly the same content if you were real world identifiable? If not, why? When I post about clubs or coaches, I try to stick to the facts and my impressions. I would feel comfortable with those opinions if i had to log in with Facebook. I have a sense many posters here wouldn’t have the same level of comfort, and that’s precisely the issue here.

Gossip is a reason for forums like this there doesn't have to be facts to everything

Maybe someone knows a club might go under and tell people to prepare themselves look at all the GOSSIP about the end of DA and how everyone said where are the facts and people like you wouldn't have allowed it

So you wouldn’t feel comfortable posting “gossip” in your name. Got it.

My vote is for Facebook identity or fully anon then. There’s little benefit to registering if gossips trying to get a faceless points across will go through whatever lengths possible to do it while people who are thoughtful and post relevant, factual information won’t bother going to half that length. There’s a reason why complaints and griping are over represented on anon forums (registered anon or not). Some people are merciless and relentless. I don’t think their voices should be magnified here, where the noise tends to drown them out now.

Yes, because you can’t create fake FB accounts. So many insecure parents on here. It is so funny to see people’s reactions.

Facebook takes account authenticity seriously. When fake accounts get reported, good luck getting them back. Registered anon accounts here just as bad as what we have, except for fake legitimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Registering this forum would kill it. There are two forums on this board that require it.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/82.page
Started 3/11/2019 number of threads 19
Dead

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/43.page
and deader

Jeff may find that preferable to the current dumpster fire. If people don’t want registration required, they need to stop acting like such dicks that the headache of moderating the forum outweighs the ad revenue it generates.

The site is quite popular with all the antics. It doesn’t really seem to stop anyone. And nothing is stopping any of you from logging in yourselves. You claim you want it yet refuse to do it yourselves.

[Anonymous]

registering killed the explicit forum, it was great before, lots of meet ups, lots of sharing it was a great community then it died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Registering this forum would kill it. There are two forums on this board that require it.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/82.page
Started 3/11/2019 number of threads 19
Dead

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/43.page
and deader

Jeff may find that preferable to the current dumpster fire. If people don’t want registration required, they need to stop acting like such dicks that the headache of moderating the forum outweighs the ad revenue it generates.

The site is quite popular with all the antics. It doesn’t really seem to stop anyone. And nothing is stopping any of you from logging in yourselves. You claim you want it yet refuse to do it yourselves.

There's little benefit if a small number of people register and the rest remain anonymous.

[Blutarski]

If you're following this thread, you may be interested to view the initial request and the exchange on the website feedback forum here https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/878906.page.

From that thread, it appears that Jeff wants to try instituting some guidelines for appropriate behavior, coupled with perhaps some stricter enforcement on his part, and also on the part of posters. You can go read his post for more details but he asks for some help :

We need to find an appropriate guideline for addressing identifiable individuals. This is tricky because I am not sure how you discuss a sport without talking about the players and coaches involved in the sport. As the same time, the players are just kids and much of the criticism of coaches has gone beyond what is acceptable (e.g. accusations of inappropriate sexual relations with children). Maybe you guys can come up with a guideline with which you are comfortable?

To that end, below are some basic rules to suggest. He is monitoring the discussion so y'all can post your own flavors and he will sample as needed.

1. Please preface your post with [girls], [boys], or [all] in the title of the thread or post you are writing to make it easier for readers to sort through.
2. Do not post anything that you would be uncomfortable saying in public. Some of you are braver in public than others but here are some guidelines:
- Absolutely no posting of youth players by name
- Avoid discussions of youth players in terms that may identify them explicitly
- Avoid the use of profane and/or abusive language or phrases