Disclose HSV 1 status in new relationship?

[Anonymous]

Wow. I began dating DH when we were 20. It never occurred to me to tell him this. He obviously found out when I had my first one (I only get one every couple years, always in the same spot on my lip.) We assume I got it from my grandmother as she is the only person I ever knew who had them. DH did not care one bit, we’ve been together 20 years and married 15. Neither he nor the kids have ever shown symptoms. I don’t kiss anyone when I have one, and with valcyclovir I can end an outbreak almost immediately.

I’d be much more afraid to date someone with family history of obesity, diabetes, cancer, etc. Do you all rule people out for those too?

[Anonymous]

Many people (including many here saying they've never had HSV1) may indeed have already had it, and were asymptomatic.

Like some people are asymptomatic to Covid.

So even those who profess to never having had it may indeed have had it and passed it along to someone unknowingly.

Like PP mentioned most times it's first passed around within immediate families and from casual smooches on/near the mouth. Including from parents to kids. Or even kids in grammar school sharing bites of food.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you need to disclose. And I am HSV-1 positive too and always disclosed even when I was dating 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should disclose. I had a guy tell me on our seventh or eighth date after we’d already made out many times. Also, he had offered to go down on me - I said no because I had my period- before he disclosed. Meaning he was going to go down on me without telling me thus potentially exposing me to genital herpes without my consent. You can spread it even when you aren’t having an outbreak. Also you can take an antiviral that lessens your chance of spreading it so that’s something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you should disclose. I had a guy tell me on our seventh or eighth date after we’d already made out many times. Also, he had offered to go down on me - I said no because I had my period- before he disclosed. Meaning he was going to go down on me without telling me thus potentially exposing me to genital herpes without my consent. You can spread it even when you aren’t having an outbreak. Also you can take an antiviral that lessens your chance of spreading it so that’s something to consider.

Ps. He only told me because I specifically asked about stds before having sex with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In many cases, not disclosing could be a crime. By deliberating without information about a sexually transmitted disease, the other person’s consent could be deemed void because HAD that person known OP had an STD he/she would not have consented. It is a form of sexual assault. People have been prosecuted (and sued) for this.

Let me guess. You're a wannabe lawyer. Assault indeed.

First of all, HSV1 (the topic at hand) is NOT specifically an STD. You'd have to prove that you did NOT have antibodies before your interaction with said partner.

Secondly, you'd have to prove that the specific individual did give it to you and you didn't previously get it from your granny, a childhood boy/girl friend, someone else you dated, sharing a beer bottle with someone etc.

With your line of thinking, I guess your granny would be guilty of sexually assaulting you?

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YES. You must. As someone who contracted HSV 1 from an asymptomatic boyfriend from oral sex, you must disclose this. It’s herpes. Let’s kill the stigma.

Agree. If you’re going to do oral you have to. It is fairly easily transmitted that way and cases of genital HSV1 from oral are the fasting growing category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I’d be furious if someone didn’t disclose this to me, and if I found out later on I’d immediately dump them for being dishonest.

+ 1

Ok big deal. By that time you probably already have the STD. Maybe know them well, and both get tested BEFORE you go further in the relationship.

It is so common, routine STD testing does not test for herpes. So you may have it, not know, and just be asymptomatic. You can shed the virus with no outbreak. Do not assume you have been tested for herpes if you had an STD panel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I’d be furious if someone didn’t disclose this to me, and if I found out later on I’d immediately dump them for being dishonest.

+ 1

Ok big deal. By that time you probably already have the STD. Maybe know them well, and both get tested BEFORE you go further in the relationship.

It is so common, routine STD testing does not test for herpes. So you may have it, not know, and just be asymptomatic. You can shed the virus with no outbreak. Do not assume you have been tested for herpes if you had an STD panel.

Same for genital herpes. It isn’t routinely tested because it’s so prevalent. And often asymptomatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you get it in your eye you can go blind. It can cause blindness and death in newborns. Disclose it, OP. I'm disgusted this is even a question for you. Maybe your new GF won't disclose her HIV status.

+1. A friend lost her baby in her eighth or ninth month due to anencephaly of the fetus due to herpes infection while pregnant.