For those parents only who don’t allow screens

[Anonymous]

Started at 2 but a limited amount at specified times - like 15 min after lunch and dinner while we clean up.

[Anonymous]

We were just trying to hold on as long as possible! Oldest was five and younger was three. Both were already reading (little one not fluently but enough to spend 20 minutes with a new book alone and read to herself) and loved books.

TV is still not their first choice which is what we were hoping for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um... no? No age or milestone, per se. Because we weren't/aren't doing it so that our kid will "be ahead" or anything. And on the flipside, we felt no need for us, *as adults/parents*, to "introduce" it. To keep her occupied? To teach her things she'd probably learn better some other way (especially when younger)? To share a favorite movie? Eh, there are other things we share, for now.

So our kid got, or is getting, screen access very organically, when it's necessary and helpful on balance. Which means she is still pretty much screen free at 7, in terms of what most people who call it screen time would actually deem screen time to be meted out or whatever.

In other words-- when she started K, the school introduced screens to an extent. Fine. Rarely, she might help me online-shop for something because it's relevant. We went to a movie screening for a film her dad was in. I mean, obviously. We go to a museum and they have screen media in the exhibits. Great. Skype/Zoom has always been fine with me-- it's just a video phone call. Etc.

The only time setting a strict age makes sense to me, regardless of overall philosophy, is about 18 months, because their brains really don't process screen information well at all before then. And certainly as very young babies, TV/etc. triggers a loop in their orienting response-- that is, they essentially can't look away when they're overstimulated.

But otherwise, I don't see much point in setting a hard and fast age in any direction. Or milestone... except that certainly, it's probably easier to deal with screens past the tantrum/etc. age. Like 4-ish, I guess.

Bizarre post from a mommy with one child who is apparently married to an actor. Very new age vibe.

[Anonymous]

OP how old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids need to learn about screens to function in the world.

Nobody is talking about raising their children with no knowledge of running water or internet. What, exactly, do you find so difficult about using a desktop or iPhone that you think would handicap a child from getting on in the world? Children are exposed to TV and computers and smartphones and they don't really require "learning" to use them. I mean, I went to HS in the 90s and we had to "learn" about computers because you had to use the keyboard to access the menu because mouses were not widely used. You children will be fine if they don't know how to navigate to your PBS app on your phone by age 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were just trying to hold on as long as possible! Oldest was five and younger was three. Both were already reading (little one not fluently but enough to spend 20 minutes with a new book alone and read to herself) and loved books.

TV is still not their first choice which is what we were hoping for.

We tried to avoid them completely before age 2, and definitely in moderation after that. We never did or needed to do specific time limits. We did not wait until the kids could read. They are currently 6 & 10, and we allow some screen time (mostly TV), but most days they don’t ask for it much or at all (even with no school right now). For example, today (a weekend), the 6 yo got no screen time (never asked) and the 10 yo watched part of a movie before bed. It’s just not their default, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Do people feel like screens PREVENT kids from learning to read? Is that why you are waiting until they are reading?

Only first time moms of toddlers who want to be holier than thou actually believe this.

Stop, ladies. This thread is not for you. Move along.

Why? I thought it was for parents who don’t allow screens. That’s us! Do you also have to believe that it makes you a superior parent? I didn’t see that in the OP.

Everyone just stop with the “does it make you a superior parent” crap. It’s boring.

Honestly. I just don’t understand what reading has to do with it. Stop putting a nasty undertone to every post you read on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were just trying to hold on as long as possible! Oldest was five and younger was three. Both were already reading (little one not fluently but enough to spend 20 minutes with a new book alone and read to herself) and loved books.

TV is still not their first choice which is what we were hoping for.

This proves nothing. Our first had no TV before age 2. Our second came along and had health issues, and we chose to rely on TV to make things easier while we tended to those issues, so they both had way more screen time than what we ever planned (oldest from age 3-4.5, youngest from 9 months - 2.5). After the health issues improved, they still got daily TV, just not as much. Guess what? Now at ages 5 and 3, they will both choose playing, building, and books over screens any day.

[Anonymous]

7th grade. The reward for making honor roll was having one reality show and one "fiction" show, either a half hour or an hour, each week. You slip academically, you lose it. Also, if home sick with fever, they could watch tv.

After they get into college, any college, they can watch as much tv as they want for the rest of senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7th grade. The reward for making honor roll was having one reality show and one "fiction" show, either a half hour or an hour, each week. You slip academically, you lose it. Also, if home sick with fever, they could watch tv.

After they get into college, any college, they can watch as much tv as they want for the rest of senior year.

Amy Chua?

[Anonymous]

We waited until six years old for any screens at home. Then added a weekly family movie night option. Kid chose movies about once a month.

School started using computers in second grade and showed occasional videos in the classroom (now than I would have liked), but we still didn't have them at home. Kid would read for hours or play outside instead.

Now in fourth grade with pandemic online schooling, there's a ton of screen time. I was worried about the learning curve, but kid has no trouble figuring out the technology despite never using a tablet or computer at home before.

I haven't decided what screen life will look like when school if back in person, but we'll figure it out together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7th grade. The reward for making honor roll was having one reality show and one "fiction" show, either a half hour or an hour, each week. You slip academically, you lose it. Also, if home sick with fever, they could watch tv.

After they get into college, any college, they can watch as much tv as they want for the rest of senior year.

So you have made your kid a social pariah and are writing off any talent they may have in the graphic arts or computer programming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7th grade. The reward for making honor roll was having one reality show and one "fiction" show, either a half hour or an hour, each week. You slip academically, you lose it. Also, if home sick with fever, they could watch tv.

After they get into college, any college, they can watch as much tv as they want for the rest of senior year.

So you have made your kid a social pariah and are writing off any talent they may have in the graphic arts or computer programming

Lol, nope. Guess my kids found friends nicer than your kids - because their friends were just like "yeah, my mom has her own crazy rules too - I'm not allowed to __________." Nobody made them feel like crap.

One kid is a medical resident and the other is in law school. And they didn't pick those careers because I didn't allow them to major in computer engineering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7th grade. The reward for making honor roll was having one reality show and one "fiction" show, either a half hour or an hour, each week. You slip academically, you lose it. Also, if home sick with fever, they could watch tv.

After they get into college, any college, they can watch as much tv as they want for the rest of senior year.

So you have made your kid a social pariah and are writing off any talent they may have in the graphic arts or computer programming

Look, I don’t agree with PP’s weird reward system, but do you really think watching YouTube videos on an iPad will make your kids into brilliant graphic designers and programmers

[Anonymous]

For older children we waited until about 5--but that was before everyone had a smart phone and took videos all the time. Our youngest, who is several years younger, got exposed to phone --face time, short videos we might take of family, etc.--at one. Since she has older siblings though, she gets to watch videos with them, which we allow only on weekends (Friday, Saturday or Sunday). but screens are on constantly because of online school now, even her pre-K has online class and video "homework." I think if you can hold off til 4-5 that is best. The problem with screens at age 2-3 is that the kids just want more more more and at least with our youngest she became UNBEARABLE once she started getting regular doses of video. It was easier having no time than trying to ration a short amount of time each day. If you can get through that horrible lack of impulse control/"I want XXX!" screaming tantrum phase without screens it really helps.