What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC in an Urban environment and LMAO at the house descriptions. We have had the same Nanny for 10 years (educated mid-westerner who was a former kindergarten teacher), sleep away camp, travel to six continents so far, private schools, swim team, sailing, tennis, golf, plus enrichment activities like summers in Spain for language school, tutors, volunteer opportunities (with animals) and luckily our DCs are kind souls. I did not grow up well-off.

What is your HHI? Either you’re overspending or really UC

It varies but combined 7 figures +

That’s not UMC doofus, that’s UC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- physically going to church every Sunday
- toys/electronics whenever you want them
- books and maybe clothes for Christmas and birthdays; no toys after about the age of five
- college is expected
- parents monitor grades and homework regularly/daily
- summer jobs required, but it doesn’t matter how much money you actually make

It’s usually the lower or middle class who attend church. And kids don’t often have summer jobs. They go to camps or pursue other activities over the summer to better themselves at a hobby or sport.

Did you grow up UMC? Are you now? People go to church and teenagers have summer jobs.

[Anonymous]

In addition to the financial aspects already mentioned (like paying for college and frequent travel):

I would say parents who model healthy behaviors like: healthy eating, exercise, effective communication, interesting work and hobbies

No fighting in front of the kids or divorce!

[Anonymous]

A couple big floofy purebred dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- physically going to church every Sunday
- toys/electronics whenever you want them
- books and maybe clothes for Christmas and birthdays; no toys after about the age of five
- college is expected
- parents monitor grades and homework regularly/daily
- summer jobs required, but it doesn’t matter how much money you actually make

It’s usually the lower or middle class who attend church. And kids don’t often have summer jobs. They go to camps or pursue other activities over the summer to better themselves at a hobby or sport.

Did you grow up UMC? Are you now? People go to church and teenagers have summer jobs.

+1 I live in Bethesda which I would consider peak UMC zone and church (or synagogue) is pretty popular. Church-wise it’s Catholic or mainline Protestant mostly. And most kids definitely work in the summer at least some hours by the time they reach the upper grades of high school. Granted my world is mostly public school so maybe it’s different for private but I would still consider them UMC for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Maybe. I don’t remember any of my friends parents being home every night. I know that my dad wasn’t.

Probably because men didn’t really prioritize their families in the same way Dads are expected to now.

Uh huh. Is your work culture all about prioritizing families?

No but I am senior enough to leave at 5:45 and hop back on my lap top later after kids are in bed to finish up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the financial aspects already mentioned (like paying for college and frequent travel):

I would say parents who model healthy behaviors like: healthy eating, exercise, effective communication, interesting work and hobbies

No fighting in front of the kids or divorce!

Agree about no divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are busy with activities and some of them are quite pricey. Lacrosse, field hockey, tennis, skiing, and rowing are the most common sports. Then they’ll often do piano or some other private music lessons. Tutoring, too, especially in high school and when it comes to standardized tests. I grew up in a semi-rural area so I always associate horseback riding with country people who spent all their money on horses, but I know it’s also a very common upper-upper class thing. Not so sure about UMC though.

Country club membership, though that may be falling out of fashion with millennials. Swim club memberships for sure though.

Nice house (4+ bedrooms in a leafy suburb), with a weekly housekeeper and a nanny.

UMC often chooses public schools, so they make sure to buy in a good suburb. No day care if two working parents - they use a nanny instead, and a babysitter for after school. Kids go to half day church/private preschool quite young - before 2 if possible, or having just turned 2, and they go 4-5 mornings a week.

No pinching pennies on travel but many do a lot of domestic trips. Expensive hotel at Disney World is very common, so is a beach house rental at the Outer Banks or Hilton Head. City travel for cultural experiences, later elementary kids and up are seeing musicals on Broadway. Vacation home somewhere relatively nearby for long weekend trips, this is often a mountain or lake home as opposed to a beach home. Ski trip once per winter. International trips less common, maybe every 3 years, or every other year for Caribbean/Mexico/etc.

House full of latest gadgets and two newer cars. Not necessarily luxury, but definitely newer, nothing falling apart and they don’t tend to drive cars into the ground. Kids get a basic, but still new (or close to new) car when they learn to drive.

This seems pretty accurate with the exception of both parents being home every night. Often the jobs that earn these kinds of salaries come with long hours and travel. One or both parents will also be working some of the time during these vacations.

Right. In the umc, one or both parents have to work long hours. It’s the true upper class where they live off trusts and maybe work a nonprofit or art gallery job with totally flex hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are busy with activities and some of them are quite pricey. Lacrosse, field hockey, tennis, skiing, and rowing are the most common sports. Then they’ll often do piano or some other private music lessons. Tutoring, too, especially in high school and when it comes to standardized tests. I grew up in a semi-rural area so I always associate horseback riding with country people who spent all their money on horses, but I know it’s also a very common upper-upper class thing. Not so sure about UMC though.

Country club membership, though that may be falling out of fashion with millennials. Swim club memberships for sure though.

Nice house (4+ bedrooms in a leafy suburb), with a weekly housekeeper and a nanny.

UMC often chooses public schools, so they make sure to buy in a good suburb. No day care if two working parents - they use a nanny instead, and a babysitter for after school. Kids go to half day church/private preschool quite young - before 2 if possible, or having just turned 2, and they go 4-5 mornings a week.

No pinching pennies on travel but many do a lot of domestic trips. Expensive hotel at Disney World is very common, so is a beach house rental at the Outer Banks or Hilton Head. City travel for cultural experiences, later elementary kids and up are seeing musicals on Broadway. Vacation home somewhere relatively nearby for long weekend trips, this is often a mountain or lake home as opposed to a beach home. Ski trip once per winter. International trips less common, maybe every 3 years, or every other year for Caribbean/Mexico/etc.

House full of latest gadgets and two newer cars. Not necessarily luxury, but definitely newer, nothing falling apart and they don’t tend to drive cars into the ground. Kids get a basic, but still new (or close to new) car when they learn to drive.

This seems pretty accurate with the exception of both parents being home every night. Often the jobs that earn these kinds of salaries come with long hours and travel. One or both parents will also be working some of the time during these vacations.

Right. In the umc, one or both parents have to work long hours. It’s the true upper class where they live off trusts and maybe work a nonprofit or art gallery job with totally flex hours.

I don’t know. I am UMC and so is most of my social circle and most people I know have both parents home for dinner each night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

This describes us except we don’t have a housekeeper (just a weekly cleaner and babysitter for date night). We had a nanny when children were little. Now they are in public school.

We don’t have a beach house either.

HHI varies but is typically around 600-700k.

[Anonymous]

You live in one of those best places to live suburbs or safest cities.

[Anonymous]

I would add that it’s important for children to have lots of traditions! Holiday traditions, birthday traditions, vacation traditions (like maybe you rent the same beach house every year for 2 weeks). It gives them more of a sense of security and stability.

I think it’s also important to limit moving if you can.

Ideally they grow up in one house that they can look back to n as their “childhood home.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You live in one of those best places to live suburbs or safest cities.

+1

I picture kids being able to ride their bikes around the neighborhood without having to worry about traffic and cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are busy with activities and some of them are quite pricey. Lacrosse, field hockey, tennis, skiing, and rowing are the most common sports. Then they’ll often do piano or some other private music lessons. Tutoring, too, especially in high school and when it comes to standardized tests. I grew up in a semi-rural area so I always associate horseback riding with country people who spent all their money on horses, but I know it’s also a very common upper-upper class thing. Not so sure about UMC though.

Country club membership, though that may be falling out of fashion with millennials. Swim club memberships for sure though.

Nice house (4+ bedrooms in a leafy suburb), with a weekly housekeeper and a nanny.

UMC often chooses public schools, so they make sure to buy in a good suburb. No day care if two working parents - they use a nanny instead, and a babysitter for after school. Kids go to half day church/private preschool quite young - before 2 if possible, or having just turned 2, and they go 4-5 mornings a week.

No pinching pennies on travel but many do a lot of domestic trips. Expensive hotel at Disney World is very common, so is a beach house rental at the Outer Banks or Hilton Head. City travel for cultural experiences, later elementary kids and up are seeing musicals on Broadway. Vacation home somewhere relatively nearby for long weekend trips, this is often a mountain or lake home as opposed to a beach home. Ski trip once per winter. International trips less common, maybe every 3 years, or every other year for Caribbean/Mexico/etc.

House full of latest gadgets and two newer cars. Not necessarily luxury, but definitely newer, nothing falling apart and they don’t tend to drive cars into the ground. Kids get a basic, but still new (or close to new) car when they learn to drive.

This seems pretty accurate with the exception of both parents being home every night. Often the jobs that earn these kinds of salaries come with long hours and travel. One or both parents will also be working some of the time during these vacations.

Right. In the umc, one or both parents have to work long hours. It’s the true upper class where they live off trusts and maybe work a nonprofit or art gallery job with totally flex hours.

I don’t know. I am UMC and so is most of my social circle and most people I know have both parents home for dinner each night.

Really? What do people do?
In our circle, we have friends in medicine, law, sales, and consulting, and none are home for dinner every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Not all UMC or UC parents prioritize family time, you know.

My dad, for example, prioritized golf and his planes. We had a polite, distant relationship and loved each other, but he wasn't at the family dinner table every night.

Actually, I wasn't at the family dinner table every night, either. I was often at study groups or working with my horse/at Pony Club events. My mom was a horse show mom and we often spent weekends away for competitions. We were a very busy family.

LMC kids were the ones who went home, did their homework and watched tv, and then had dinner with mom and dad every night. Maybe they had the odd school basketball or soccer game every now and then, but mostly they were all there.