Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad that I had a DH who supported my BFing in all ways and did not have a negative attitude. I am glad he put my wishes and the welfare of the baby first and did not mind if he was inconvenienced.

OP gives me the creeps for being a cold husband and father. Not an ounce of empathy for what the wife is going through. Terrible husband and father material. I wonder how some women choose to marry such men? Oh wait, there is another thread about how Lee Malvo married in prison. I guess there is a shoe for every foot!!

I completely disagree. He’s not negative; he’s realistic that pumping is negatively affecting his wife’s mental and physical health.

He is certainly a loser for crowdsourcing this without his wife's knowledge on DCUM. He reminds me of Tom Cruise the Scientologist!

[Anonymous]

And wife wants OP to grow a heart, a brain and a pair..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is pumping every 2-3 hours, she is not getting REM sleep. One needs 4 hours (or so) in a stint to do that. That would concern me. If she is getting at least one 4 hour stint, then I would not be as worried.

OP here. She pumps everyday at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1, and 4. Sometimes she will do every 2 hours between 1 and 7 because she said she gets the most milk then. I am not the only one that as noticed a change in her. Her mom, my MIL, and her sister have all said the same thing and have tried to talk to her about it. I had suggested introducing more formula multiples times to lessen the stress on her, but she rejected the idea. I'm not controlling and this has nothing to do with it. This has to do with wanting a wife and mother ( for my son) who is present, happy, and in a good mental state. She is none of those things. She rarely spends time with our son because she is in the bedroom pumping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is pumping every 2-3 hours, she is not getting REM sleep. One needs 4 hours (or so) in a stint to do that. That would concern me. If she is getting at least one 4 hour stint, then I would not be as worried.

OP here. She pumps everyday at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1, and 4. Sometimes she will do every 2 hours between 1 and 7 because she said she gets the most milk then. I am not the only one that as noticed a change in her. Her mom, my MIL, and her sister have all said the same thing and have tried to talk to her about it. I had suggested introducing more formula multiples times to lessen the stress on her, but she rejected the idea. I'm not controlling and this has nothing to do with it. This has to do with wanting a wife and mother ( for my son) who is present, happy, and in a good mental state. She is none of those things. She rarely spends time with our son because she is in the bedroom pumping.

OP here. We even hired a sitter because she felt like she couldn't pump and watch our son at the same time. We are older parents and she wants to start trying for a second baby when our son turns 6 months. I think that will be too much stress on her. I'm just trying to help. She has done an amazing job so far, but our son is happy, healthy, and thriving, and he doesn't need a distressed out mom. He will be fine with formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad that I had a DH who supported my BFing in all ways and did not have a negative attitude. I am glad he put my wishes and the welfare of the baby first and did not mind if he was inconvenienced.

OP gives me the creeps for being a cold husband and father. Not an ounce of empathy for what the wife is going through. Terrible husband and father material. I wonder how some women choose to marry such men? Oh wait, there is another thread about how Lee Malvo married in prison. I guess there is a shoe for every foot!!

I completely disagree. He’s not negative; he’s realistic that pumping is negatively affecting his wife’s mental and physical health.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is pumping every 2-3 hours, she is not getting REM sleep. One needs 4 hours (or so) in a stint to do that. That would concern me. If she is getting at least one 4 hour stint, then I would not be as worried.

OP here. She pumps everyday at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1, and 4. Sometimes she will do every 2 hours between 1 and 7 because she said she gets the most milk then. I am not the only one that as noticed a change in her. Her mom, my MIL, and her sister have all said the same thing and have tried to talk to her about it. I had suggested introducing more formula multiples times to lessen the stress on her, but she rejected the idea. I'm not controlling and this has nothing to do with it. This has to do with wanting a wife and mother ( for my son) who is present, happy, and in a good mental state. She is none of those things. She rarely spends time with our son because she is in the bedroom pumping.

OP here. We even hired a sitter because she felt like she couldn't pump and watch our son at the same time. We are older parents and she wants to start trying for a second baby when our son turns 6 months. I think that will be too much stress on her. I'm just trying to help. She has done an amazing job so far, but our son is happy, healthy, and thriving, and he doesn't need a distressed out mom. He will be fine with formula.

Take your focus of breastfeeding for a little bit. It would be good to approach her as someone who may be going through post partum depression. You wouldn't just come out and say she is depressed. Maybe ask how she is feeling; you can share that you are worried about her. If she is willing have her check out by her dr. Don't mention breastfeeding. As of now, you don't know if breastfeeding is the cause or a symptom of what is happening to her. Even if she doesn't have PPD, she maybe anxious. Having a 4 month old can do that to you even without the breastfeeding issue.

[Anonymous]

I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's healthy for her to be waking up every two hours at night for such a long period of time and missing any REM sleep -- keep doing that and she can't think straight to recognize how much her lack of sleep is affecting her. But how can you tell her that when her mind is already messed up from not sleeping? I don't know! I went through something similar and was the frog in the boiling pot of water -- I didn't realize how bad it was until someone got me out of it and I could look back on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

OP here. I have talked to her and explained this before months ago. Her mom, my mom, and her sister all have said the same thing. The pediatrician also said the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Never change DCUM. This man sees his wife struggling and is trying to find a way to help her and instead you make him into a monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

OP here. I have talked to her and explained this before months ago. Her mom, my mom, and her sister all have said the same thing. The pediatrician also said the same thing.

There are many benefits to breastmilk. They have been studied. You also dont have to worry about breastmilk being recalled. Formula is recalled a lot. A generation ago, many women didnt breastfeed. 200 years ago women relied onnwet nurses. Many of my friends and I were not offered support from our moms because our moms relied on formula.

I'm the pp who breastfed long term. Your wife does need to back off on the pumping if she isnt sleeping and its interfering with her time. If your kid is sleeping through the night your kid doesnt need milk overnight. You are meant to produce just what your kid needs. Is she trying to just make up for the day? She is just trying to create milk to feed the baby while she works? Sleep and nutrition are important for creating milk. She has to draw the conclusion herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

OP here. I have talked to her and explained this before months ago. Her mom, my mom, and her sister all have said the same thing. The pediatrician also said the same thing.

There are many benefits to breastmilk. They have been studied. You also dont have to worry about breastmilk being recalled. Formula is recalled a lot. A generation ago, many women didnt breastfeed. 200 years ago women relied onnwet nurses. Many of my friends and I were not offered support from our moms because our moms relied on formula.

I'm the pp who breastfed long term. Your wife does need to back off on the pumping if she isnt sleeping and its interfering with her time. If your kid is sleeping through the night your kid doesnt need milk overnight. You are meant to produce just what your kid needs. Is she trying to just make up for the day? She is just trying to create milk to feed the baby while she works? Sleep and nutrition are important for creating milk. She has to draw the conclusion herself.

OP here. She is on maternity leave. He eats 28-30 ounces a day. She makes 30-32 ounces. We used formula for the first two months because he never wanted to breastfeed, and she had low supply. She went to pumping every 2-3 hours and her supply increased over the last month or two, but he still refuses to nurse. She used the milk for the day and the night before to feed him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never change DCUM. This man sees his wife struggling and is trying to find a way to help her and instead you make him into a monster.

Right? There's nothing wrong with telling your partner that you notice they are struggling and to offer supportive ways to improve their situation no matter what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

OP here. I have talked to her and explained this before months ago. Her mom, my mom, and her sister all have said the same thing. The pediatrician also said the same thing.

There are many benefits to breastmilk. They have been studied. You also dont have to worry about breastmilk being recalled. Formula is recalled a lot. A generation ago, many women didnt breastfeed. 200 years ago women relied onnwet nurses. Many of my friends and I were not offered support from our moms because our moms relied on formula.

I'm the pp who breastfed long term. Your wife does need to back off on the pumping if she isnt sleeping and its interfering with her time. If your kid is sleeping through the night your kid doesnt need milk overnight. You are meant to produce just what your kid needs. Is she trying to just make up for the day? She is just trying to create milk to feed the baby while she works? Sleep and nutrition are important for creating milk. She has to draw the conclusion herself.

OP here. She is on maternity leave. He eats 28-30 ounces a day. She makes 30-32 ounces. We used formula for the first two months because he never wanted to breastfeed, and she had low supply. She went to pumping every 2-3 hours and her supply increased over the last month or two, but he still refuses to nurse. She used the milk for the day and the night before to feed him.

How is her work suffering if she's on maternity leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can open up the topic with her, ask her how she's feeling about it, tell her that you think it would be totally and completely fine for her to stop breastfeeding (and explain your reasons why you think it's fine, not why she should do it), and let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do.

OP here. I have talked to her and explained this before months ago. Her mom, my mom, and her sister all have said the same thing. The pediatrician also said the same thing.

There are many benefits to breastmilk. They have been studied. You also dont have to worry about breastmilk being recalled. Formula is recalled a lot. A generation ago, many women didnt breastfeed. 200 years ago women relied onnwet nurses. Many of my friends and I were not offered support from our moms because our moms relied on formula.

I'm the pp who breastfed long term. Your wife does need to back off on the pumping if she isnt sleeping and its interfering with her time. If your kid is sleeping through the night your kid doesnt need milk overnight. You are meant to produce just what your kid needs. Is she trying to just make up for the day? She is just trying to create milk to feed the baby while she works? Sleep and nutrition are important for creating milk. She has to draw the conclusion herself.

OP here. She is on maternity leave. He eats 28-30 ounces a day. She makes 30-32 ounces. We used formula for the first two months because he never wanted to breastfeed, and she had low supply. She went to pumping every 2-3 hours and her supply increased over the last month or two, but he still refuses to nurse. She used the milk for the day and the night before to feed him.

How is her work suffering if she's on maternity leave?

OP here. She was working from home starting at 4 months but she decided to extend maternity leave to 6 months because it was too hard to care for the baby, pump, and work.