Why are grandparents and older relatives so needy now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother had 7 kids spaced out across the years. When her kids had kids she told them all that she was done raising kids to avoid getting plopped on for childcare. She hosts events, everyone visits her, she never gets into anyone's business or gives advice, and is just so easy to be around. It seems like the other relatives in her age bracket have the same situation.

Their kids however are an entirely different story. The kids all had 1,2,3 or no kids. The ones with more than 1 kid has them relatively close together. They are all the typical needy, boundary crossing, always manipulating for more time and more access types who want to be in your business. When DH and I and our cousins shared stories we realized that we were all basically latch key kids even the ones who had a SAP so its not like these people were dedicating their lives or centering everything around us at any point in the past but now they want to be the center of attention.

So I'm wondering if the trend toward having fewer children and having them closer together is what is making grandparents do intrusive now.

They are baby boomers. Children of the greatest generation who literally became the most selfish generation ever. And they killed our planet taboot.

Yep. They have even formed groups and organizations so they can lobby lawmakers and dismantle patental rights in favor of "grandparent rights." Because you know, they gave birth to you and therefore should have legal rights to your children

[Anonymous]

because we live in a lonely world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that's a huge generalization. Many grandparents I know (my parents, DH's parents, the parents of my cousins and my friends) fall toward something of a happy medium. Obviously involved and loving and generous, but understanding of busy schedules and making things work, etc.

+1. Huge generalization and not reflective of my family or friends' experiences at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience childless aunts and grandmothers who have not had young kids in a very long time can be problematic on so many levels as "free child care". It drives my aunt completely nuts that all her nieces and nephews will send their kids to each other's houses when they travel for a weekend or have a date night but not give the kids over to her. The cousins have fun with each other. The other parents do not need to be told rules of what is appropriate because they have kids. The other parents are doing each other favors and is it not about them. The other houses are set up for kids. The other parents 100% understand homework, bedtimes, sports schedules and kid social activities.

For all of us our first option is always to use each other if it works with the other parents OR maybe friends with same age kids or hire a sitter if it doesn't. No one is using grandma or auntie because they really are not very good with kids and its a hassle.

How about child-free uncles and grandfathers? That's a lot you're laying exclusively at the feet of women.

Good observation. Misogynist much!