Nanny or Daycare?

[Anonymous]

We've always paid our nanny full-time, even now when our kids are in school. It's very hard to find someone who is reliable and qualified enough who is willing to work for part-time pay, which makes perfect sense. Also, I'd imagine most daycares make you pay for a full-time slot because why would they want you part-time when I'm sure they could find dozens of other kids who want full-time? A nanny has been amazing for us, the ability to not worry if the kids are sick, to not have to get them packed up and out of the house, etc. But it certainly isn't the cheapest option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

I understand sickness but ear infections are not contagious. That has nothing to do with daycare. An ear infection can not be passed from child to child. That is a separate issue and has nothing to do with the baby being in daycare.

TRue but colds easily lead to ear infections and colds are plentiful in daycare. Bottle-propping, also common in daycare, can lead to war infections too.

Do you have anything to support your notion that bottle propping is common and, separately, that leads to ear infections?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

I understand sickness but ear infections are not contagious. That has nothing to do with daycare. An ear infection can not be passed from child to child. That is a separate issue and has nothing to do with the baby being in daycare.

TRue but colds easily lead to ear infections and colds are plentiful in daycare. Bottle-propping, also common in daycare, can lead to war infections too.

Do you have anything to support your notion that bottle propping is common and, separately, that leads to ear infections?

Sorry wrote response in wrong place:

DP — there is a lot of evidence that group care leads to an increased risk of multiple ear infections.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/8363010/

I don’t know about bottle propping. But the two factors that put you at risk of multiple ear infections are group care and family history (ie inherited structure of the war). Everything in parenting is a pay now or pay later situation. Most people will tell you it is more convenient for two working parents to have a nanny because the first year of any group care involves a lot of sickness. Can’t go to daycare when you are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are not interested in a nanny share. We don’t want students as most are looking to leave after their semester is over. That defeats the purpose of having a nanny. We need full days. The daycare we are looking into has 2,3, or 5 days. Rates are $1,500, $1,700, and $2,000 a month. Most nannies quoted us $18-20 ( we are not in DC), but we have been having a hard time finding a nanny willing to do taxes.

OP here. I will be going back 2 days a week and then 3 days between 6-9 months, and then 5 days at a year. I might even stick to just part-time - we are trying to get pregnant by the 1 year mark.

NP. I'm a big fan of nannies and we have both had our own nanny and done a nanny-share (which was wonderful). But given your changing schedule and your reluctance to pay over market rate I don't see how you will find a decent nanny. You want to pay her for 2 days for the next few months, then 3 days, then maybe 5 days? So do you imagine the nanny scaling back on another job, or not having another job at all so she can accommodate your ramp-up to full-time--which may or may not happen?

Start with daycare and see where you are if and when you have two children. Then you may decide you prefer a nanny and are willing to pay for one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking for a nanny. Part time nannies are available if you present workable hours (like mornings only so the nanny can pick up another family’s kids from school).

Students are another option if you have a university nearby. There are always students who deliberately stack their class schedule so that they can have a job. The risk is that they are less reliable, but if you have your MIL as backup that could help.

Otherwise, I agree with the PPs that it’s difficult to find a professional nanny part time.

Students no longer want to be part time nannies. There's better money to be made elsewhere in this area (tips at higher-end places, etc.) or jobs that are more flexible (uber, lyft, pick up babysitting jobs here and there for easier, older kids on your own schedule).

[Anonymous]

OP, your weird schedule, changing days, and possibility of adding another kid to the mix are all red flags for a potential employee, especially in an area with high demand for childcare.

I only think a nanny is worth it if you get a good, experienced one and those aren't going to want your job and will take another, more reliable job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your weird schedule, changing days, and possibility of adding another kid to the mix are all red flags for a potential employee, especially in an area with high demand for childcare.

I only think a nanny is worth it if you get a good, experienced one and those aren't going to want your job and will take another, more reliable job.

But if the price is right and OP has good interviewing skills, an excellent nanny can be found.

[Anonymous]

Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

[Anonymous]

All that said, I don’t see where OP has a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

Yes it is. https://www.keanelaw.com/library/childCarefatalities2003.pdf

"For 1993 through 2003, the overall fatality rate per 100,000 children in child care was 0.71 using the NHES and 0.83 using the SIPP. Child care is quite safe as compared with other settings in which children spend time, and deaths in child care make up only a small part of overall injury mortality in the age group. This is in line with the findings of Currie and Hotz (2001), who reported that child care provides a generally safe environment, partly because motor vehicle accidents are less likely in child care, although not one without significant risks. Analysis of the data on fatalities, however, shows that there are striking differences in the safety of different types of care and among children of different ages. Areas of high vulnerability are concealed in overall fatality rates"

"We compared fatality rates by age group and type of care for 1993 through 2003. The fatality rate in centers for children 0 to 4 years of age is 0.11 per 100,000 children enrolled. Family day care, offered in the provider’s home, is less
safe, with a fatality rate of 1.58. Care in the child’s own home is the least safe, with a fatality rate of 2.06".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

BTW all of the teachers at DD's daycare have college degrees or are working on them. And it's not expensive compared to other centers I visited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

Yes it is. https://www.keanelaw.com/library/childCarefatalities2003.pdf

"For 1993 through 2003, the overall fatality rate per 100,000 children in child care was 0.71 using the NHES and 0.83 using the SIPP. Child care is quite safe as compared with other settings in which children spend time, and deaths in child care make up only a small part of overall injury mortality in the age group. This is in line with the findings of Currie and Hotz (2001), who reported that child care provides a generally safe environment, partly because motor vehicle accidents are less likely in child care, although not one without significant risks. Analysis of the data on fatalities, however, shows that there are striking differences in the safety of different types of care and among children of different ages. Areas of high vulnerability are concealed in overall fatality rates"

"We compared fatality rates by age group and type of care for 1993 through 2003. The fatality rate in centers for children 0 to 4 years of age is 0.11 per 100,000 children enrolled. Family day care, offered in the provider’s home, is less
safe, with a fatality rate of 1.58. Care in the child’s own home is the least safe, with a fatality rate of 2.06".

That OLD report does not distinguish actual nannies from grandmothers, babysitters, or other family members doing childcare.

Shame on you for spreading false information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

Yes it is. https://www.keanelaw.com/library/childCarefatalities2003.pdf

"For 1993 through 2003, the overall fatality rate per 100,000 children in child care was 0.71 using the NHES and 0.83 using the SIPP. Child care is quite safe as compared with other settings in which children spend time, and deaths in child care make up only a small part of overall injury mortality in the age group. This is in line with the findings of Currie and Hotz (2001), who reported that child care provides a generally safe environment, partly because motor vehicle accidents are less likely in child care, although not one without significant risks. Analysis of the data on fatalities, however, shows that there are striking differences in the safety of different types of care and among children of different ages. Areas of high vulnerability are concealed in overall fatality rates"

"We compared fatality rates by age group and type of care for 1993 through 2003. The fatality rate in centers for children 0 to 4 years of age is 0.11 per 100,000 children enrolled. Family day care, offered in the provider’s home, is less
safe, with a fatality rate of 1.58. Care in the child’s own home is the least safe, with a fatality rate of 2.06".

That OLD report does not distinguish actual nannies from grandmothers, babysitters, or other family members doing childcare.

Shame on you for spreading false information.

DP. Lady relax. Maybe there are valid criticisms/limitations of that study, but your response comes across as if he are an unhinged member of the local nanny’s union. It leads me to question your interpretation of the study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, we love our daycare center. It has its pluses and minuses:

Pluses:
- More oversight from director and other teachers means daycare centers are the safest form of child care, though child care is generally safe.
- They provide different toys than what you have at home.
- Center takes care of recruiting, training and background checking employees. The infant teachers at DD's daycare are fantastic, and I've learned a ton from them.
- Very rarely does a center close unexpectedly. You generally know when the center will be closed and can plan for that.

Minuses
- The time it takes to transport and drop off baby at daycare is a significant chunk of your and your baby's day. It really is exhausting.
- Your baby will catch colds and other bugs at daycare in the winter and bring them home. It's not always catastrophic - my DD has really only had one ear infection and a minor tummy bug this winter- but it does happen. And sometimes as was the case for me, you will get sicker than your baby.
- Naps can be challenging. I'm amazed that my baby can get some pretty good naps in at her daycare, which does not have a separate nap room (it did take a while to adjust), but she definitely sleeps better at home.

Daycare is not the safest form of childcare! Babies have died in daycare and you have no clue how the teachers are screened! We go to a really good daycare/preschool and they have cameras - but don’t let the parents watch/check which I don’t understand. My son fell hard and put his teeth thru his bottom lip and they still refused to let me see the footage of how it happened. A teacher said he was walking with his hands in his pockets and fell. I’ve never seen him put his hands in his pockets but whatever.

None of the teachers have even bachelors degrees. There is little individual attention.

We were so much happier with our nanny! We have cameras at home and could check in on him at any time.

However, we just couldn’t afford to keep her and had no choice but to do daycare. So we chose the very best one we could find.

All that said,

Yes it is. https://www.keanelaw.com/library/childCarefatalities2003.pdf

"For 1993 through 2003, the overall fatality rate per 100,000 children in child care was 0.71 using the NHES and 0.83 using the SIPP. Child care is quite safe as compared with other settings in which children spend time, and deaths in child care make up only a small part of overall injury mortality in the age group. This is in line with the findings of Currie and Hotz (2001), who reported that child care provides a generally safe environment, partly because motor vehicle accidents are less likely in child care, although not one without significant risks. Analysis of the data on fatalities, however, shows that there are striking differences in the safety of different types of care and among children of different ages. Areas of high vulnerability are concealed in overall fatality rates"

"We compared fatality rates by age group and type of care for 1993 through 2003. The fatality rate in centers for children 0 to 4 years of age is 0.11 per 100,000 children enrolled. Family day care, offered in the provider’s home, is less
safe, with a fatality rate of 1.58. Care in the child’s own home is the least safe, with a fatality rate of 2.06".

That OLD report does not distinguish actual nannies from grandmothers, babysitters, or other family members doing childcare.

Shame on you for spreading false information.

DP. Lady relax. Maybe there are valid criticisms/limitations of that study, but your response comes across as if he are an unhinged member of the local nanny’s union. It leads me to question your interpretation of the study.

OMG, I was in daycare for the duration of this study! It’s so dated, PP.