Nanny or Daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP raise your pay scale to $25-30 and see what you get. Also part time day care might be the perfect answer.

OP here. My husband doesn’t want to pay full-time salary to a part-time nanny. We also don’t expect much of the nanny besides care for our son and cleaning up after the day. We will still do his laundry, bottles go in the dishwasher for us to run at night, and I will be making homemade baby food once he starts solids. He’s also a very easy baby. He’s already sleep trained and on a schedule.

Sounds like you will have to do daycare. Plus it doesn’t matter if your baby is easy or fussy, salary shouldn’t be dependent on that. Not only would the nanny have to be there regardless, but babies go through phases and go from easy to difficult dependent on age. It doesn’t sound like you can afford a nanny (not a knock on you- I can’t either), so take the daycare spot before they move on.

OP here. I know babies go through phases and salary is not dependent on that. We can afford a nanny. We have a HHI of $300k. We just don't want to pay a nanny $50k a year when they will be working less than 20 hours a week.

Jesus we get it. So you need to find a nanny who is available the two days you need her. What do you want us to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP raise your pay scale to $25-30 and see what you get. Also part time day care might be the perfect answer.

OP here. My husband doesn’t want to pay full-time salary to a part-time nanny. We also don’t expect much of the nanny besides care for our son and cleaning up after the day. We will still do his laundry, bottles go in the dishwasher for us to run at night, and I will be making homemade baby food once he starts solids. He’s also a very easy baby. He’s already sleep trained and on a schedule.

Sounds like you will have to do daycare. Plus it doesn’t matter if your baby is easy or fussy, salary shouldn’t be dependent on that. Not only would the nanny have to be there regardless, but babies go through phases and go from easy to difficult dependent on age. It doesn’t sound like you can afford a nanny (not a knock on you- I can’t either), so take the daycare spot before they move on.

OP here. I know babies go through phases and salary is not dependent on that. We can afford a nanny. We have a HHI of $300k. We just don't want to pay a nanny $50k a year when they will be working less than 20 hours a week.

Ok, ok! Chill... I am not clear why you mentioned how easy and sleep trained your baby is if you didn’t think salaries depended on that. That’s the only reason I brought it up. And I get it, you’re rich! I’m being real with you here. You want a part-time nanny for only 20 hours a week but A lot of us are telling you that you’re gonna have a very hard time finding that, so daycare looks like it’s going to be your option. Or, you can employ a full-time nanny and only use her for your part-time hours. I guarantee you there will be days when you will be happy that you have this person available to you full-time.
Or, if you really think it’s only going to be 20 hours then put your baby in the daycare, which I’m sure is a great option for you.

[Anonymous]

You can afford to work part time but the vast majority of nannies (and other Americans) cannot afford to work two, then three days a week. I don’t understand why that fact seems to make you angry!

Daycare. You’re a perfect daycare mom!

[Anonymous]

Finding a part time daycare is going to be almost as hard.

Finding a daycare for an infant can be difficult even fulltime. And, just as a nanny wants full time pay, a daycare wants someone paying full time for a spot. Part time works only when another kid the same age will take the days you are not using. In most cases, you would have to find someone to pair with, rather than the daycare pairing you. Since most places can easily fill spots, they generally just take full time kids, rather than worrying about forming pairs and concerns about what would happen if one family left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finding a part time daycare is going to be almost as hard.

Finding a daycare for an infant can be difficult even fulltime. And, just as a nanny wants full time pay, a daycare wants someone paying full time for a spot. Part time works only when another kid the same age will take the days you are not using. In most cases, you would have to find someone to pair with, rather than the daycare pairing you. Since most places can easily fill spots, they generally just take full time kids, rather than worrying about forming pairs and concerns about what would happen if one family left.

OP already found a daycare for two and three days a week.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a nightmare and no nanny would stay long anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

For example, you can do mornings and a fun outing or class with your baby on the short days, have nanny come when it’s time for the morning nap and run errands. Or have nanny come from afternoon to evening once a week and have a night out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

That's absurd. To suggest that OP should pay for a full-time nanny because she is scared of her kid getting ear infections, or sick more generally, is silly.

If she wants the extra free time of a nanny, then go for it, I guess. But that is quite a lot of pampering and, although OP can afford a nanny, she is not at the income where I would think she wants to spend extravagantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want a nanny for part time you will have to pay enough to make it worth their while. Most nannies work full time.

OP here. My Hsiang and I do not want to pay a full-time salary for a part-time nanny.

* husband.

OP here. I understand the value of a nanny. I was a former nanny for 10 years. We are willing to pay a higher rate, but not willing to pay a full-time salaries. Most of the nannies we talked to want full-time hours and pay.

m

Most nannies also have full time bills, which is why most nannies need full time hours. If you don’t want to pay full time for part time care, go to daycare. Nannies are the most expensive childcare option.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to do daycare. You might find someone desperate for a job who is willing to work PT (or split the week between two families) but as soon as they find a stable FT gig, they will leave you. OTOH, if you give up and pay someone for 40 hours to work 20 hours, you will start resenting them and try to nickel and dime them. Just go with daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

That's absurd. To suggest that OP should pay for a full-time nanny because she is scared of her kid getting ear infections, or sick more generally, is silly.

If she wants the extra free time of a nanny, then go for it, I guess. But that is quite a lot of pampering and, although OP can afford a nanny, she is not at the income where I would think she wants to spend extravagantly.

Ear infections aren't not contagious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

I understand sickness but ear infections are not contagious. That has nothing to do with daycare. An ear infection can not be passed from child to child. That is a separate issue and has nothing to do with the baby being in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Get the full time nanny. Even if you work PT, you can definitely use the help. Having time off for day dates, appointments, exercise, cooking, what have you is going to increase the quality of the time you have with your baby. You will be able to nap when your kid goes through the 10 month regression (which lasts from 8-10 months for many babies) and wakes like a newborn again. Daycare is also pretty hard on babies. Most don’t have a nap room and can’t customize a schedule. I know so many moms who ended up having to do tubes due to multiple ear infections. I really think if you can afford it (and it sounds from your posts that you can) you should just go for it. If you work full days, you can do 10 hours a day to help with commute time and your getting ready in the mornings. What’s left will just cover two short days (or do a fourth 10 hour day). But take more help than you can get the first year, even working part time. I worked part time from home the first year with full time help and it was still a lot. I was juggling several other things which may not apply to you but I think in general overestimating the help you need is good..

I understand sickness but ear infections are not contagious. That has nothing to do with daycare. An ear infection can not be passed from child to child. That is a separate issue and has nothing to do with the baby being in daycare.

TRue but colds easily lead to ear infections and colds are plentiful in daycare. Bottle-propping, also common in daycare, can lead to war infections too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 4-month-old and I’m going back to work part-time. My MIL will be watching our baby until we hire a nanny or put him daycare at six months old. My hope was to go back part-time for the first year, but we are finding it hard to find a nanny willing to commit long-term working part-time. We are on the waitlist and have a spot opening up for us when my son will be six months old. The daycare is highly rated and close to us. There are pros and cons to both but I think having a nanny while young will be the best option. We would like to have a nanny but I will likely have to go back full-time. I’m really struggling with what to do.

It’s not clear why you are struggling. You’ve told us repeatedly that you can’t find a nanny who will work part time for part time pay and that your husband refuses to pay for full time. You don’t have anything to struggle with...daycare is your only option.