How to go about this date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very rigid and uptight. You only left 45 min for the date? What if you really hit it off and wanted to keep talking? And the second date choice was walking your dog in the cold or going to one restaurant? If I were him I would decline. If he is willing to put up with this nonsense you should probably marry him.

OP here.

I usually “book” 30 min for dates that don't initially show strong dating skills. Was expecting “cultural” delays. Some are more prone to arrive late, wander around, not know how to proceed, or otherwise spend a lot of time for what I consider waste of resources. Moreover, my “appointments” are booked in a row to maximize the time (the prep time/cost could be found in other threads). 30 min (with the right set of questions) is substantial amount of time for me to predict the future opportunity/value with/in a prospect.

I suggested TWO options for nearest future. Why he picked up the option he picked up instead of talking in a comfortable climate-controlled environment or never suggested his options is a mystery for me. The options of free walk vs cafe was aired on both days and the FREE option was picked up twice. That’s despite the cold weather and being not accustomed to the weather. We met second time at same location and he neither bought himself drink nor suggested/offered anything for me. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit in a cafe with no order but I didn't want to babysit the situation this time.

I would like to suggest another spin for this thread in case if other people first-dating someone from India, or better yet someone from India is looking for practical help “how to date”. I think people like him (great and growing population) would benefit from a concrete algorithm to help them go beyond “hello”, “how are you”, “how was your day (day of the week)”. I tried to find him links to the examples of how the introduction goes and typical first date but wasn’t able to find anything substantial besides unpractical blogs and abstract articles.
If it wouldn't be unethical, I'd copy paste him my conversation/records with other prospects for pedagogical purposes. Let's help people like him and the DMV economy (LOL).

JFC

[Anonymous]

OP. I mean this in the kindest way. Are you on the autism spectrum? You seem very rigid and perhaps a bit tone deaf? The way you are approaching dating doesn’t seem conducive to your final objective of finding someone. Maybe pursue counseling? A counselor would help you with some of these struggles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very rigid and uptight. You only left 45 min for the date? What if you really hit it off and wanted to keep talking? And the second date choice was walking your dog in the cold or going to one restaurant? If I were him I would decline. If he is willing to put up with this nonsense you should probably marry him.

OP here.

I usually “book” 30 min for dates that don't initially show strong dating skills. Was expecting “cultural” delays. Some are more prone to arrive late, wander around, not know how to proceed, or otherwise spend a lot of time for what I consider waste of resources. Moreover, my “appointments” are booked in a row to maximize the time (the prep time/cost could be found in other threads). 30 min (with the right set of questions) is substantial amount of time for me to predict the future opportunity/value with/in a prospect.

I suggested TWO options for nearest future. Why he picked up the option he picked up instead of talking in a comfortable climate-controlled environment or never suggested his options is a mystery for me. The options of free walk vs cafe was aired on both days and the FREE option was picked up twice. That’s despite the cold weather and being not accustomed to the weather. We met second time at same location and he neither bought himself drink nor suggested/offered anything for me. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit in a cafe with no order but I didn't want to babysit the situation this time.

I would like to suggest another spin for this thread in case if other people first-dating someone from India, or better yet someone from India is looking for practical help “how to date”. I think people like him (great and growing population) would benefit from a concrete algorithm to help them go beyond “hello”, “how are you”, “how was your day (day of the week)”. I tried to find him links to the examples of how the introduction goes and typical first date but wasn’t able to find anything substantial besides unpractical blogs and abstract articles.
If it wouldn't be unethical, I'd copy paste him my conversation/records with other prospects for pedagogical purposes. Let's help people like him and the DMV economy (LOL).

This hurts my brain!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I mean this in the kindest way. Are you on the autism spectrum? You seem very rigid and perhaps a bit tone deaf? The way you are approaching dating doesn’t seem conducive to your final objective of finding someone. Maybe pursue counseling? A counselor would help you with some of these struggles.

Seriously. She needs to stop dating for a while and I'm a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I meet online this Indian IT guy and suggested to meet at a coffee place.
On the day of a “date” I told him I will be waiting at the lobby. 10 minutes into the “date” I texted him I will be leaving shortly in case if he is running late as I have other things scheduled on that day. He texts he is walking around isles in the adjacent store. ???? We finally meet and spend about 25 minutes remaining talking about IT stuff. He came with his “Starbucks” cup I didn’t order since time was scarce (for dates I book 45 min to maintain my schedule.)
He texts me right after the date “you are busy woman”, I suppose it was instead of “nice meeting you, etc.”.
He seems to like to text a lot which I am reluctant to entertain within given “environment”. He asked to meet again sometime soon. He is available on mid week and weekend and overall flexible schedule/telecommute. I suggested I have availability to go for a dog walk with me (set schedule every evening or meet later for dinner at the inexpensive Asian place. He agreed on a walk (windy, cold weather). It didn’t work out since my neighbor asked to join with her dog to discuss her things and I had to re-schedule the “date” for next day. Again offered walk with me or diner. He agreed on walk with me. Later I checked the snow/rain forecast and suggested we go to a restaurant/café. He felt reluctant on eating out idea: “Ohh, ok”.
What was it? Lack of dating experience? Lack of organization? Lack of finance to get your date coffee or take to a cheap café? Is it cultural? How to go about it?

Who cares what his deal is? Neither of you seem interested enough, just let communication fizzle