How to go about this date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a lot of work without enough payoff.

Don't forget OP is also annoyed that he didn't buy her coffee or buy her dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are the cause of the problems here.

1. U don't him on the first "date" that you had somewhere else to go.
2. U opted to go for a dog walk with ur neighbor instead of going out with him.
3. U are suggesting walking outside in January (bonkers).

Sounds like you keep changing plans and are neurotic.

this, pluse

4. you seem hung up on his race and job in a way that makes a casual reader of your OP uncomfortable.

5. you're nuts

[Anonymous]

To be honest here OP -
You sound very Type A.
Plus you are very very busy & you may not have all the time that dating requires.

And that is okay.

Either you:
A.) Take a step back, look at your schedule + see if there is anything that you can do to allocate more time for social activities such as dating.

B.) Postpone dating until you can generate enough time to set aside some fun.
Because remember, all work & no play is no way to live.

I wish you only the best in your endeavors!

[Anonymous]

Maybe your neighbor is your soulmate.

[Anonymous]

That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

These were OP's suggestions. She came up with the "date" - If she can't be available for more than 23 minutes between walking her dog with her neighbor and picking up dog poo then I don't think she's a match for you, Fabio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

These were OP's suggestions. She came up with the "date" - If she can't be available for more than 23 minutes between walking her dog with her neighbor and picking up dog poo then I don't think she's a match for you, Fabio.

+1. OP allows the neighbor to go dog walking when she invited this guy to walk with her? Just don't get this. It's strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

Frankly, your first dates sound off, too. No way would I want to go to a wedding as a first date. Nor a weekend away. Way too much, way too soon.

Also, it’s “would have”, not would “would of”. Maybe trade in your Merc and spend some dosh on remedial English lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very rigid and uptight. You only left 45 min for the date? What if you really hit it off and wanted to keep talking? And the second date choice was walking your dog in the cold or going to one restaurant? If I were him I would decline. If he is willing to put up with this nonsense you should probably marry him.

OP here.

I usually “book” 30 min for dates that don't initially show strong dating skills. Was expecting “cultural” delays. Some are more prone to arrive late, wander around, not know how to proceed, or otherwise spend a lot of time for what I consider waste of resources. Moreover, my “appointments” are booked in a row to maximize the time (the prep time/cost could be found in other threads). 30 min (with the right set of questions) is substantial amount of time for me to predict the future opportunity/value with/in a prospect.

I suggested TWO options for nearest future. Why he picked up the option he picked up instead of talking in a comfortable climate-controlled environment or never suggested his options is a mystery for me. The options of free walk vs cafe was aired on both days and the FREE option was picked up twice. That’s despite the cold weather and being not accustomed to the weather. We met second time at same location and he neither bought himself drink nor suggested/offered anything for me. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit in a cafe with no order but I didn't want to babysit the situation this time.

I would like to suggest another spin for this thread in case if other people first-dating someone from India, or better yet someone from India is looking for practical help “how to date”. I think people like him (great and growing population) would benefit from a concrete algorithm to help them go beyond “hello”, “how are you”, “how was your day (day of the week)”. I tried to find him links to the examples of how the introduction goes and typical first date but wasn’t able to find anything substantial besides unpractical blogs and abstract articles.
If it wouldn't be unethical, I'd copy paste him my conversation/records with other prospects for pedagogical purposes. Let's help people like him and the DMV economy (LOL).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

Coffee is a perfect first date. Figure out if the person is worth pursuing without investing a lot of time/money. It has been a while since I dated, but coffee was common for me. Except, I would try to do it when I did not have a rigid schedule so, if things were going well, we could keep talking.

For example, my wife and I first met for coffee. We had been chatting on line. I was literally driving through her town, and we met a 4 PM. We ended up getting dinner, and have been together for 23 years, married 21. (I had other coffee dates that ended at 20 minutes; I started with the coffee dates after dropping several hundred dollars (1996) on dinner with a woman that was a was clearly not right. I could tell within 30 min, but it would be rude not to pick up the check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is one shitty first date.

I have been on maybe 100 first dates. I never met for coffee.

My wife I picked up for an oceanfront lobster dinner in my freshly washed and vacuumed Mercedes.

One girl I recall and surprised she said yes I took her away for weekend in the Hampton’s

My brother has taken women to broadway plays on first dates.

Twice I took a girl to a wedding in a first date

Several times the girls picked and went to a family party, wedding, NBA games etc with girls

Bottom line guy is a loser and you were right.

If he was six two, 190 pounds of muscles with a full head of hair and movie star looks with a 500k a year job you would of had his baby on the first date.

You sound like a pretentious twat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very rigid and uptight. You only left 45 min for the date? What if you really hit it off and wanted to keep talking? And the second date choice was walking your dog in the cold or going to one restaurant? If I were him I would decline. If he is willing to put up with this nonsense you should probably marry him.

OP here.

I usually “book” 30 min for dates that don't initially show strong dating skills. Was expecting “cultural” delays. Some are more prone to arrive late, wander around, not know how to proceed, or otherwise spend a lot of time for what I consider waste of resources. Moreover, my “appointments” are booked in a row to maximize the time (the prep time/cost could be found in other threads). 30 min (with the right set of questions) is substantial amount of time for me to predict the future opportunity/value with/in a prospect.

I suggested TWO options for nearest future. Why he picked up the option he picked up instead of talking in a comfortable climate-controlled environment or never suggested his options is a mystery for me. The options of free walk vs cafe was aired on both days and the FREE option was picked up twice. That’s despite the cold weather and being not accustomed to the weather. We met second time at same location and he neither bought himself drink nor suggested/offered anything for me. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit in a cafe with no order but I didn't want to babysit the situation this time.

I would like to suggest another spin for this thread in case if other people first-dating someone from India, or better yet someone from India is looking for practical help “how to date”. I think people like him (great and growing population) would benefit from a concrete algorithm to help them go beyond “hello”, “how are you”, “how was your day (day of the week)”. I tried to find him links to the examples of how the introduction goes and typical first date but wasn’t able to find anything substantial besides unpractical blogs and abstract articles.
If it wouldn't be unethical, I'd copy paste him my conversation/records with other prospects for pedagogical purposes. Let's help people like him and the DMV economy (LOL).

You sound psychotic. Please don't put any other poor fellow through having to go on dates with you.

[Anonymous]

You need to seek someone as tightly wound as you are, someone who gets you and will understand and put up with all your quirks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very rigid and uptight. You only left 45 min for the date? What if you really hit it off and wanted to keep talking? And the second date choice was walking your dog in the cold or going to one restaurant? If I were him I would decline. If he is willing to put up with this nonsense you should probably marry him.

OP here.

I usually “book” 30 min for dates that don't initially show strong dating skills. Was expecting “cultural” delays. Some are more prone to arrive late, wander around, not know how to proceed, or otherwise spend a lot of time for what I consider waste of resources. Moreover, my “appointments” are booked in a row to maximize the time (the prep time/cost could be found in other threads). 30 min (with the right set of questions) is substantial amount of time for me to predict the future opportunity/value with/in a prospect.

I suggested TWO options for nearest future. Why he picked up the option he picked up instead of talking in a comfortable climate-controlled environment or never suggested his options is a mystery for me. The options of free walk vs cafe was aired on both days and the FREE option was picked up twice. That’s despite the cold weather and being not accustomed to the weather. We met second time at same location and he neither bought himself drink nor suggested/offered anything for me. It was pretty uncomfortable to sit in a cafe with no order but I didn't want to babysit the situation this time.

I would like to suggest another spin for this thread in case if other people first-dating someone from India, or better yet someone from India is looking for practical help “how to date”. I think people like him (great and growing population) would benefit from a concrete algorithm to help them go beyond “hello”, “how are you”, “how was your day (day of the week)”. I tried to find him links to the examples of how the introduction goes and typical first date but wasn’t able to find anything substantial besides unpractical blogs and abstract articles.
If it wouldn't be unethical, I'd copy paste him my conversation/records with other prospects for pedagogical purposes. Let's help people like him and the DMV economy (LOL).

You sound psychotic. Please don't put any other poor fellow through having to go on dates with you.

This. OP, you don’t show “strong dating skills”.

[Anonymous]

My generous, emotionally intelligent, supportive, and self-aware former Indian boss who became a friend used to say:
“ When you point the finger at people, remember that three fingers are pointing at you.”

If this guy was so terrible, why did you want to see him again? Are you one of those people who need to belittle others in order to feel superior?

This guy doesn’t need your help, he needs someone who is mature and empathetic and who is not settling him up for failure.

Don’t worry, you will find your match!