Nanny vacation dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no other industry in which, upon agreeing to a PTO contract, employees then would attempt to guilt their employer into giving them additional PTO. Why is it that nannies think they are special?

Because they are doing the job that you either cannot, or will not do:
rearing your children! In no other job does an employer dictate when you can take half of your PTO.

Just to be clear - you think that because a nanny is taking care of your children, it is OK with them to immediately try to vary the vacation terms of the contract?

If at all possible for you, stop being such a horse's ass. This is not what I said. But, yes, in this case.

Hmmmm. So holding the parent’s hostage through emotional manipulation is what you are advocating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no other industry in which, upon agreeing to a PTO contract, employees then would attempt to guilt their employer into giving them additional PTO. Why is it that nannies think they are special?

Because they are doing the job that you either cannot, or will not do:
rearing your children! In no other job does an employer dictate when you can take half of your PTO.

Just to be clear - you think that because a nanny is taking care of your children, it is OK with them to immediately try to vary the vacation terms of the contract?

If at all possible for you, stop being such a horse's ass. This is not what I said. But, yes, in this case.

Hmmmm. So holding the parent’s hostage through emotional manipulation is what you are advocating?

Yes. A learned response from the employer.

[Anonymous]

I negotiate for vacation phrases one of two ways in the contract. 1. I have 2 or 3 weeks, to use at my discretion. I have to give my employer 1-3 months of notice and I don’t take more than a week at a time. All other times are considered working weeks, and at least half of my normal hours during a week without children is spent on larger projects: organizing and restocking children’s pantry, purging and replacing clothes, purging toys and reorganizing playroom, moving bedroom furniture and reorganizing kid’s bedroom, etc. 2. I have no vacation of my choice. For a family who has at least 4 weeks of vacation, and who will never ask me to go along and work, who knows at least 2 months prior to when they are going, I’m happy to agree that our vacations will be the same. I will never do large projects while they are gone, and I’m not going to pick up mail, water plants or care for animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, everything you do in the first year sets a precedence. Unfortunately you need to be firm on the number of days. You can still be in good terms with your Nanny, you just have to explain why you can't pay for the extra days because it is not in your budget. If it was a Nanny that I had for over two years, I probably would just pay her but yours is too new.

I'm a former nanny (worked for 3 different families over 7 years) and I agree with this. Also, it's pretty typical to start out with 2 weeks of vacation, one of your choosing, one of your employer's choosing. I'm surprised by how many people are mad about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no other industry in which, upon agreeing to a PTO contract, employees then would attempt to guilt their employer into giving them additional PTO. Why is it that nannies think they are special?

Because they are doing the job that you either cannot, or will not do:
rearing your children! In no other job does an employer dictate when you can take half of your PTO.

Many of us do jobs that others can or will not do. That still doesn't justify the nanny attempting to circumvent her contract through guilt and manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I negotiate for vacation phrases one of two ways in the contract. 1. I have 2 or 3 weeks, to use at my discretion. I have to give my employer 1-3 months of notice and I don’t take more than a week at a time. All other times are considered working weeks, and at least half of my normal hours during a week without children is spent on larger projects: organizing and restocking children’s pantry, purging and replacing clothes, purging toys and reorganizing playroom, moving bedroom furniture and reorganizing kid’s bedroom, etc. 2. I have no vacation of my choice. For a family who has at least 4 weeks of vacation, and who will never ask me to go along and work, who knows at least 2 months prior to when they are going, I’m happy to agree that our vacations will be the same. I will never do large projects while they are gone, and I’m not going to pick up mail, water plants or care for animals.

The what now? The children's pantry? The children have a separate pantry?

This is a world with which I am not familiar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no other industry in which, upon agreeing to a PTO contract, employees then would attempt to guilt their employer into giving them additional PTO. Why is it that nannies think they are special?

Because they are doing the job that you either cannot, or will not do:
rearing your children! In no other job does an employer dictate when you can take half of your PTO.

Entirely not the case. This comes up all the time in labor law.

https://www.overtime-flsa.com/forced-vacation-is-it-legal/

Curious about that--I know people who work for companies that do a scheduled layoff every year (ex: heavy equipment manufacturer which--like auto mfg--has new models). How does that affect unemployment? I know unemployment is based on state laws, but if a person has accrued paid vacation does unemployment require them to use that prior to unemployment benefits?

I realize in this case the amount of time the nanny might end up using is not enough for unemployment to factor in at all, but I could see a scenario happening where vacation vs unemployment could be a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not get the mindset of those who employ nannies thinking its a true vacation when YOU choose the dates. You are not giving your nanny two weeks as PP have said. I totally understand that there are many who do this and have decided that its fair.

We always have given our nanny (and 1x week housecleaner) two weeks paid vacation-their choice. As it happens-we always also give the week between Christmas and New Years off with pay as we like having house to ourselves if in town. Our nanny has worked for us for 12 years and I paid her for half of a recent 4 week emergency visit home (in addition to regular vacation) She watches the most precious people in my life and goes above and beyond for us. I hope your nanny finds a new position soon. I would advise her as a friend that you are not a fair employer.

You obviously don’t work. OP needs the nanny to watch her most precious (gag) people while she and her husband work.

Not only do I work-I am self employed so any day I don't work I don't get paid and no one pays my sick or vacation days. Same w/DH. We choose to have the week between Christmas and New Years as family time. In our minds we are also 'gifting' our nanny that week and in a way its added to her year end bonus. We know for a fact that some years she picks up extra work this week from families needing help w/their kids out of school-and good for her if the opportunity for money is better than time off-but entirely her choice.

[Anonymous]

Traveling back on 1/1 is probably really expensive. Add to that you are JUST telling her less than a month that you will be gone those days and she either has the choice to travel and pay a lot to come back on the 1st or not travel.

Id let her know that you will give 6 weeks notice for Thanksgiving and Christmas vacation in the future. And figure out whether it is more expensive to pay for the replacement sitter vs paying for her flight back on NYD. Itll be more expensive in the long run to find a new nanny. I would keep an ear out for more of those "comparison: statements. Its a guilt/immature tactic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This type of stuff really pisses me off. Let her take them off, paid, and then if she takes 5 days in April, then two of them are unpaid.
I would really rethink this nanny if it was me.

Same here. Nannies always asking for more especially when she’s only been there 5 months.

[Anonymous]

Don’t set this precedent OP. 100% reasonable to give 10 days - one of your choice and one gets as that is very common for nannies. (Yes it is less than most white collar jobs; it is more than most blue collar/hourly jobs though).

Why she figured you would give her 1/2 and 3 off too is odd - those are definitely “all back and game on” days in my office. It is not as if it is just a Friday after the 1st.

She can take the PTO days or come to work.

[Anonymous]

The question is, would it creat a hardship for you? If not then why not be generous and just give her the days off paid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 10 vacations days the norm for someone with such a crucial job?

I think our daycare get at least 15 of their chowing...

Among our peer group everyone gives their nannies 10 days of vacation. But as I mentioned because DH and I have around 4 weeks of vacation annually, we will give her nearly 4 weeks off paid each year, it’s just not of her choosing.

If she can't choose when she wants off then it isn't a vacation for her.

So public school teachers get . . . no vacation?

I got 10 days PTO of my own choosing when I was teacher.

My mom was a teacher in Ohio for 30+ years. She had 2 personal days a year and sick leave. She had to use one of her personal days each year to attend a professional conference she helped plan. The other day she saved to go to one of my school events. One day a year that wasn’t chosen for her by the school calendar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 10 vacations days the norm for someone with such a crucial job?

I think our daycare get at least 15 of their chowing...

Among our peer group everyone gives their nannies 10 days of vacation. But as I mentioned because DH and I have around 4 weeks of vacation annually, we will give her nearly 4 weeks off paid each year, it’s just not of her choosing.

If she can't choose when she wants off then it isn't a vacation for her.

So public school teachers get . . . no vacation?

I got 10 days PTO of my own choosing when I was teacher.

My mom was a teacher in Ohio for 30+ years. She had 2 personal days a year and sick leave. She had to use one of her personal days each year to attend a professional conference she helped plan. The other day she saved to go to one of my school events. One day a year that wasn’t chosen for her by the school calendar.

Teaching is different (I am a teacher). She had multiple sick days she could choose to use and MANY teachers choose to use these for family/ kid things. Acting like she could only be out two days over the whole school year is just not true.

[Anonymous]

I agree w/the PP who suggested take it out of her Christmas bonus.

This is the only fair option that I have read in the responses.

Since she has only been w/you since June, I do not think she has earned enough stripes yet to demand what she is.