Nanny vacation dilemma

[Anonymous]

We had a new nanny start six months ago, and in our contract agreed to 10 days vacation - 5 days of our choosing and 5 days of her choosing. In reality she will get a lot more of that since DH and I have more time off, although that isn’t relevant here necessarily. When my nanny started she mentioned she has a family wedding in April and would want to use her 5 days then, which was totally fine with us.

I mentioned to her a few weeks ago that we were still finalizing our Christmas travel plans and I would let her know as soon as we did, but that we would definitely be gone the full week of Christmas and possibly a little longer. We finally confirmed our trip and will be gone December 23-January 1, so we are giving her 6 work days off (not including the 25th and 1st since she would be off anyway). She said thanks and then mentioned that she was really hoping to get the full two weeks off, including January 2nd and 3rd, because she doesn’t want to travel back on the 1st. We said that’s fine if she wants to take two of her days then, but that means she doesn’t have a full 5 days to use for the family wedding (which is on a weekend so she doesn’t HAVE to take 5 days in theory). She said she wanted to think about it over the long weekend and would let me know, but threw in a comment about her last employer always giving her those two weeks off. DH and I both have to go back to work on the 2nd, so as much as we would love to take the full 2 weeks it’s just not in the cards.

So, the dilemma is, do I give her the two extra days off paid, or let her take them unpaid? While I would like to be generous I am also a little hesitant to set this precedent so early on when it’s unlikely we will ever be gone the full two weeks of Christmas break. Also, we don’t have local family so I need to have a back up sitter come which typically costs $250 per day. So that is a decent expense we will be incurring on top of paying our nanny her regular salary.

What would others do here?

[Anonymous]

Is 10 vacations days the norm for someone with such a crucial job?

I think our daycare get at least 15 of their chowing...

[Anonymous]

I’d make her take it unpaid. Few people get those days off.

That being said, my nanny gets 3 weeks plus federal holidays off. You’re stingy with 2 weeks. I have backup care I use for about $60 a kid though on days I can’t swing it. Sometimes it sucks. Last Tuesday I worked during the day then dh went in and worked until 3:30am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is 10 vacations days the norm for someone with such a crucial job?

I think our daycare get at least 15 of their chowing...

Among our peer group everyone gives their nannies 10 days of vacation. But as I mentioned because DH and I have around 4 weeks of vacation annually, we will give her nearly 4 weeks off paid each year, it’s just not of her choosing.

[Anonymous]

Give the 2 days.

[Anonymous]

I’d let her take them unpaid, but I wouldn’t offer them paid. I know it’s nice to be generous, and you don’t want her feeling as though you’re stingy, but, otoh, it’s early on, and if you do it This year, you’re setting a precedent. Not only that, but you’re presumably still getting to know each other, so you want to make sure this doesn’t happen a lot. We all have limited vacation that we have to manage, and every employer tends to have its pluses and minuses in terms of what’s offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d make her take it unpaid. Few people get those days off.

That being said, my nanny gets 3 weeks plus federal holidays off. You’re stingy with 2 weeks. I have backup care I use for about $60 a kid though on days I can’t swing it. Sometimes it sucks. Last Tuesday I worked during the day then dh went in and worked until 3:30am.

We give all federal holidays off too. How much of the 3 weeks is of your nanny’s choosing vs. yours? While our contract states 10 days she will get almost 20 days off each year.

[Anonymous]

Leave without pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d let her take them unpaid, but I wouldn’t offer them paid. I know it’s nice to be generous, and you don’t want her feeling as though you’re stingy, but, otoh, it’s early on, and if you do it This year, you’re setting a precedent. Not only that, but you’re presumably still getting to know each other, so you want to make sure this doesn’t happen a lot. We all have limited vacation that we have to manage, and every employer tends to have its pluses and minuses in terms of what’s offered.

Very few professionals have only 5 vacation days of their choosing.

[Anonymous]

This type of stuff really pisses me off. Let her take them off, paid, and then if she takes 5 days in April, then two of them are unpaid.
I would really rethink this nanny if it was me.

[Anonymous]

I guess you don’t like her very much? This is clearly a test, and she sees that you are stingy and contractual (I assume you are both well paid lawyers?)

[Anonymous]

I don’t think two weeks off - one of her choosing and one of your choosing is a good deal. I would give her two weeks of her choosing, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess you don’t like her very much? This is clearly a test, and she sees that you are stingy and contractual (I assume you are both well paid lawyers?)

We do like her... but are worried this will become a habit, and one that costs us a lot of extra money. At work I don’t have any flexibility to take off more days than I am allocated. And no, neither of us is a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Are you okay with her taking unlimited unpaid time off? We got into a situation with a nanny who basically thought that after she had used up her vacation time (same arrangement as you have- 10 days 5 we pick 5 she picked- I think that's pretty typical) she could take unlimited time off unpaid. We eventually had to have a hard reset where we explained that we actually needed someone to work- not just take unlimited time off. This early on, I would suggest saying that you have to work those days, if she wants them off, she is welcome to use some of her vacation of her choosing days, and obviously this cuts into her time off in April. I would not start the precedent of additional unpaid days off- and I definitely would not give bonus paid days at this point in time.

[Anonymous]

I would add them in as part of her holiday bonus.