How do you divorce an alcoholic wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A disease to me is something that you are afflicted with -
Something that you cannot get rid of at all.

Cancer, diabetes, etc. are authentic diseases as one cannot escape them.

Alcoholism can be eradicated if someone makes the CHOICE to not walk into a 7-11 & physically make a purchase of anything that includes alcohol.

Since alcohol is synthetic -
How can a person be afflicted with a disease that consists of something not physiological but man made...??

I'm not sure you understand how diabetes works. Diabetes is a disease. A person can choose to follow the correct treatment protocol to manage it, eg, improving diet, taking insulin. So a diabetic didn't choose to be a diabetic but he or she can choose to follow the correct treatment. It's the same with alcoholism, which is an inherited genetic predisposition. You can't choose to NOT be an alcoholic but you can choose the correct treatment. I will never stop being an alcoholic but I can choose to not drink and to go to meetings. Believe me, I would like to be able to have a drink now and then (rather than having had to abstain for the last 30 years) but I can't and that's part of the disease, which I inherited from my parents.

Congrats on your sobriety.

I just want to jump in on that, because this "inherited genetic predisposition" line apparently took the place of the old-school AA line about being allergic to alcohol. In any event, it's a simplistic and inaccurate explanation. Genetics is a factor in alcohol dependency, but only a factor.

Of course, it's only a factor but it's a factor one doesn't choose for oneself and some of us got stuck with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two families as friends.

Family 1: Dad works 6 days out if the week. Every night when he comes home he goes to his man cave and drinks (beer, wine) until 4am. Sleeps till 1 and goes to work. Is this alcoholism?

Family 2: I don’t know if he drinks during the week but on the weekend he starts drinking in the morning and doesn’t stop. One time we gave him and his friends a six pack each. He drank his in 15 minutes and started drinking his friend’s.

Is this alcoholism? How can they function and maintain jobs?

Family 1 - probably yes. Family 2 - definitely yes. And there are lot of people who are active alcoholics and manage to function at their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two families as friends.

Family 1: Dad works 6 days out if the week. Every night when he comes home he goes to his man cave and drinks (beer, wine) until 4am. Sleeps till 1 and goes to work. Is this alcoholism?

Family 2: I don’t know if he drinks during the week but on the weekend he starts drinking in the morning and doesn’t stop. One time we gave him and his friends a six pack each. He drank his in 15 minutes and started drinking his friend’s.

Is this alcoholism? How can they function and maintain jobs?

Family 1 - probably yes. Family 2 - definitely yes. And there are lot of people who are active alcoholics and manage to function at their jobs.

How can alcoholics manage to keep their jobs and function day to day for years? I thought it's not a static disease. Shouldn't it progressively get worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two families as friends.

Family 1: Dad works 6 days out if the week. Every night when he comes home he goes to his man cave and drinks (beer, wine) until 4am. Sleeps till 1 and goes to work. Is this alcoholism?

Family 2: I don’t know if he drinks during the week but on the weekend he starts drinking in the morning and doesn’t stop. One time we gave him and his friends a six pack each. He drank his in 15 minutes and started drinking his friend’s.

Is this alcoholism? How can they function and maintain jobs?

Family 1 - probably yes. Family 2 - definitely yes. And there are lot of people who are active alcoholics and manage to function at their jobs.

How can alcoholics manage to keep their jobs and function day to day for years? I thought it's not a static disease. Shouldn't it progressively get worse?

All I can say is that it depends on the person and what kind of work they do! My brother functioned well enough until he got disabled and couldn't work any more and then he went swiftly downhill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with two alcoholic parents but somehow they were very kind and not abusive to us.

Not trying to diminish the negatives many have, but not all kids with alcoholic parents suffer abuse.

My DH grew up with an alcoholic mother who drank herself into a stupor every night and passed out on the sofa. She was rarely physically abusive (she tried to drown him in the family pool when he was 8) but always emotionally abusive and erratic.

Children of alcoholics get a very warped view of what is "normal" and "what is abuse."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two families as friends.

Family 1: Dad works 6 days out if the week. Every night when he comes home he goes to his man cave and drinks (beer, wine) until 4am. Sleeps till 1 and goes to work. Is this alcoholism?

Family 2: I don’t know if he drinks during the week but on the weekend he starts drinking in the morning and doesn’t stop. One time we gave him and his friends a six pack each. He drank his in 15 minutes and started drinking his friend’s.

Is this alcoholism? How can they function and maintain jobs?

Family 1 - probably yes. Family 2 - definitely yes. And there are lot of people who are active alcoholics and manage to function at their jobs.

How can alcoholics manage to keep their jobs and function day to day for years? I thought it's not a static disease. Shouldn't it progressively get worse?

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Many alcoholics can function on their jobs for decades until they can't. The progressive disease gets worse over time.
Long term alcoholism have a lot of health issues linked to alcoholism: tremors, memory, gout, diabetes, heart issues, gait issues etc etc etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with two alcoholic parents but somehow they were very kind and not abusive to us.

Not trying to diminish the negatives many have, but not all kids with alcoholic parents suffer abuse.

My DH grew up with an alcoholic mother who drank herself into a stupor every night and passed out on the sofa. She was rarely physically abusive (she tried to drown him in the family pool when he was 8) but always emotionally abusive and erratic.

Children of alcoholics get a very warped view of what is "normal" and "what is abuse."

This. It is tough being a child of an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with two alcoholic parents but somehow they were very kind and not abusive to us.

Not trying to diminish the negatives many have, but not all kids with alcoholic parents suffer abuse.

My DH grew up with an alcoholic mother who drank herself into a stupor every night and passed out on the sofa. She was rarely physically abusive (she tried to drown him in the family pool when he was 8) but always emotionally abusive and erratic.

Children of alcoholics get a very warped view of what is "normal" and "what is abuse."

Most children of alcoholics know not to bother Mom or Dad after 4:00 pm as the alcoholic is unavailable or mean.