DC wants to withdraw from magnet program

[Anonymous]

I recall there is another thread talking about TPMS bullying problem. A group of non-magnet students sexual harassed a magnet-bound girl when she was walking on the street after school (not sure why that happened). The parents reported to the principal but principal was very reluctant to help, partly because that's afterschool time. I think OP should at least talk with school principal before making any further decision, meanwhile, finding "playdate" (or studying group) with some of your DC's new classmates may help. OP you need to act positively before retreating.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your advice. It is not Clemente MS. And DC was not beaten up but did get physically contact by some kids in the corridor.

DC reported to school, and talked to counselor. I have to say that the teachers in the school are all very nice and trying to help. That's why I hope DC can give it some more time before making the decision. I can tell that the teachers are trying to make DC feel safe and they even give DC a flash pass to approach to the counselor at anytime DC doesn't feel comfortable.

Our home school is a highly ranked middle school too. Someone mentioned to shadow the kid in the homeschool for a day. That's a very good idea. I wonder if it is doable and how to coordinate that. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recall there is another thread talking about TPMS bullying problem. A group of non-magnet students sexual harassed a magnet-bound girl when she was walking on the street after school (not sure why that happened). The parents reported to the principal but principal was very reluctant to help, partly because that's afterschool time. I think OP should at least talk with school principal before making any further decision, meanwhile, finding "playdate" (or studying group) with some of your DC's new classmates may help. OP you need to act positively before retreating.

That was a very weird thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was personally subject to things you described or are you describing general school environment??

That's the thing I am not sure. I know that most MS are like this, chaos, noises, crowded. Even DC's best friend in our home school got bullied couple times, but for some reason DC still thinks the current school is worse...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry your child has been having troubles at her magnet school. Since she likes the classes, you might want to talk with the school counselor before you withdraw. The counselor might have some ideas on ways your child can find friends and integrate into the school.

I think it's great that you're being proactive on this and not letting it fester. I hope things get better soon for your daughter and that she finds happiness at whatever school she decides on.

Agree with this advice.
There are always a couple of students who leave typically at the end of 6th grade but if your child is miserable and knows she will be happier in her home school no need to wait. I wonder if it is worth having her spend a day shadowing in her home middle school if that can be arranged.
Please make sure the magnet coordinator and the Principal are aware of the situation for the sake of the other children in the school.
Also don’t let this experience dissuade her from considering a high school Magnet program. If she is accepted into one she can request to shadow a student for a few hours so she gets a sense of how stimulating, safe and well run the school is.
Good luck to your child

I am the PP. if this is Eastern MS please please report this to the principal even if you leave. Also know that for some reason the behavioral problems you observe at Eastern are largely absent at Blair high school so don’t rule out a Magnet HS without shadowing first

That is a straight up lie.

My child went to the Eastern magnet and was bullied and disliked the school environment. Child is now at Blair CAP and Blair has been great. I agree with the previous poster- none of the same behavioral problems, overall environment is much better.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like the counselors are on top of helping your child to feel safe. That’s great that they gave dc a flash pass. As far as making friends, your dc might find it helpful if you provide some coaching on how to make new friends. I have a shy kid who doesn’t have the instinct to just go up to an unknown person and start a conversation. We practiced some subtle ways that she could signal to classmates that she’s a nice, approachable person (not looking glum, making eye contact, paying attention to her body language). We came up with a few simple comments she could make to other kids that wouldn’t necessarily be conversation starters, but would signal that she was interested in talking, things that would give other kids an opening to start a conversation. We’ve been through 4 weeks of school. Of course your dc isn’t going to have deep ties with anyone yet, but if dc hasn’t made any friends yet, dc may need a little coaching. Shy kids often don’t have much experience with doing the work of making friends. Often, they’re used to being approached by others. Could this be part of your dc’s problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall there is another thread talking about TPMS bullying problem. A group of non-magnet students sexual harassed a magnet-bound girl when she was walking on the street after school (not sure why that happened). The parents reported to the principal but principal was very reluctant to help, partly because that's afterschool time. I think OP should at least talk with school principal before making any further decision, meanwhile, finding "playdate" (or studying group) with some of your DC's new classmates may help. OP you need to act positively before retreating.

That was a very weird thread.

Not only was it a weird thread, but none of it involved the magnet program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry your child has been having troubles at her magnet school. Since she likes the classes, you might want to talk with the school counselor before you withdraw. The counselor might have some ideas on ways your child can find friends and integrate into the school.

I think it's great that you're being proactive on this and not letting it fester. I hope things get better soon for your daughter and that she finds happiness at whatever school she decides on.

Agree with this advice.
There are always a couple of students who leave typically at the end of 6th grade but if your child is miserable and knows she will be happier in her home school no need to wait. I wonder if it is worth having her spend a day shadowing in her home middle school if that can be arranged.
Please make sure the magnet coordinator and the Principal are aware of the situation for the sake of the other children in the school.
Also don’t let this experience dissuade her from considering a high school Magnet program. If she is accepted into one she can request to shadow a student for a few hours so she gets a sense of how stimulating, safe and well run the school is.
Good luck to your child

Thanks. I will ask this.
I emailed magnet coordinator, grade principle, and counselor about the bullying. They emailed me, talked to my kid and the counselor called me back. I feel very positive of the teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry your child has been having troubles at her magnet school. Since she likes the classes, you might want to talk with the school counselor before you withdraw. The counselor might have some ideas on ways your child can find friends and integrate into the school.

I think it's great that you're being proactive on this and not letting it fester. I hope things get better soon for your daughter and that she finds happiness at whatever school she decides on.

Agree with this advice.
There are always a couple of students who leave typically at the end of 6th grade but if your child is miserable and knows she will be happier in her home school no need to wait. I wonder if it is worth having her spend a day shadowing in her home middle school if that can be arranged.
Please make sure the magnet coordinator and the Principal are aware of the situation for the sake of the other children in the school.
Also don’t let this experience dissuade her from considering a high school Magnet program. If she is accepted into one she can request to shadow a student for a few hours so she gets a sense of how stimulating, safe and well run the school is.
Good luck to your child

I am the PP. if this is Eastern MS please please report this to the principal even if you leave. Also know that for some reason the behavioral problems you observe at Eastern are largely absent at Blair high school so don’t rule out a Magnet HS without shadowing first

That is a straight up lie.

My child went to the Eastern magnet and was bullied and disliked the school environment. Child is now at Blair CAP and Blair has been great. I agree with the previous poster- none of the same behavioral problems, overall environment is much better.

Did your kid stayed at Eastern for three full years still?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s Clemente- I totally get it. We looked at applying to that program and didn’t because the school was too rough. I’ve heard that it’s rougher now with the split between MLK/Clemente. I’ve also heard the current English teacher at Clemente is terrible and the mixed ability classes are even more frustrating for the magnet kids. If your DC feels unsafe or bullied and you feel like home middle is a better place switch after first marking period.

Your kid isn't even at Clemente, you have no first-hand experience with Clemente, and yet you "totally get it"?

On the up side, the administrators as well as the home-school kids at Clemente are probably better off if they don't have to deal with parents who are scared of black and Hispanic 12-year-olds.

-parent of Clemente magnet kid

+1

The faculty and administration have been both supportive and engaging thus far. The principal is fantastic. We're still really early in the school year and some classes seem to be slowly spinning up, but DC is really enjoying being there. The English teacher, Mr. Hummel, seems to be competent in the few interactions I've had with him. DC enjoys the class.

OP, sorry to hear about your kid. Talk to the center coordinator and see if they can help calm the waters. There are likely hundred of kids having a rough transition into middle school across the county... don't give up on this program without exploring all the resources available to you first.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing that this is TPMS. TPMS and in general MCPS does a really bad with managing middle school behaviors. The behaviors at many schools, not just TPMS, can get very out of control. Its a combination of the age when kids are trying to act cool or tough for other kids and have low impulse control with very little oversight from teachers and admin. It doesn't help that there is not much outdoor time or breaks so PE and lunch tend to be lord of the flies. If your child is coming from a small elementary with mostly nerdy or quieter kids and then going into a huge schools with lots of kids acting out can be really hard.

Your home middle school is not going to be as well run and nurturing as your small elementary school was but it could be much better depending on the group of kids. It is far easier for admins/teachers to deal with a few kids acting out than deal with a large number acting act so it stays calmer. It may also help your DC if he or she has a larger set of friends in the home school.

I agree that high school is different. There are different problem but the pooping all over the bathroom, shrieking and cursing in the locker room and other gross middle school behaviors get replaced by other things that tend to stay more confined to different groups.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. My child has also been unhappy at his magnet so far, although thankfully there's no bullying. I think a lot of it is being at a new, bigger school with different kids, so he doesn't have many friends or a built-in social net (not many kids from his ES are at this magnet). Also, MS involves more work and more effort academically. My child is doing fine academically, but I can tell he's more stressed this year. I hope things get better before the end of the year. I'm not sure if switching back to his home school would help. It's a difficult decision, because it's a one-way street. Once you go back, you can't change your mind if the problems persist at the home school. I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know your child isn't alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recall there is another thread talking about TPMS bullying problem. A group of non-magnet students sexual harassed a magnet-bound girl when she was walking on the street after school (not sure why that happened). The parents reported to the principal but principal was very reluctant to help, partly because that's afterschool time. I think OP should at least talk with school principal before making any further decision, meanwhile, finding "playdate" (or studying group) with some of your DC's new classmates may help. OP you need to act positively before retreating.

These details are really skewed. I was on both the DCUM thread and the local neighborhood thread, by the way.

The girl being harassed was not a magnet kid, not that it matters. She was a neighborhood kid.

The girl had tried to film some other kids who were - in her opinion - breaking the rules. It went predictably badly.

The school did respond, but the incident happened outside the school day and off school grounds, so their mandate was limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. My child has also been unhappy at his magnet so far, although thankfully there's no bullying. I think a lot of it is being at a new, bigger school with different kids, so he doesn't have many friends or a built-in social net (not many kids from his ES are at this magnet). Also, MS involves more work and more effort academically. My child is doing fine academically, but I can tell he's more stressed this year. I hope things get better before the end of the year. I'm not sure if switching back to his home school would help. It's a difficult decision, because it's a one-way street. Once you go back, you can't change your mind if the problems persist at the home school. I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know your child isn't alone.

Agreed. It's a hard decision, not as someone previously stated "just do it"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. My child has also been unhappy at his magnet so far, although thankfully there's no bullying. I think a lot of it is being at a new, bigger school with different kids, so he doesn't have many friends or a built-in social net (not many kids from his ES are at this magnet). Also, MS involves more work and more effort academically. My child is doing fine academically, but I can tell he's more stressed this year. I hope things get better before the end of the year. I'm not sure if switching back to his home school would help. It's a difficult decision, because it's a one-way street. Once you go back, you can't change your mind if the problems persist at the home school. I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know your child isn't alone.

6th grade magnet is a big change for kids even if they were at HGC - probably even bigger coming from a neighborhood school. High expectations and doing work that is actually a challenge can throw a kid for a loop -but most of them get in the groove after awhile. My Blair CAP kid went to Eastern and broke down in tears a few times the first few months at EMS - but he'll tell you now that he wouldn't have traded his experience at Eastern for anything. He also learned vital lessons about time management, not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good enough, and his writing and critical thinking are far beyond what is taught at neighborhood MS. Also, and this is key - he will find his tribe eventually. The kids he was friends with in 6th were not his close buddies in 8th because he realized who he was and wasn't during MS, but oh the kids who are his friends in 8th - they are tight going into HS.