Missing child from NJ- Dulce Alvarez

[Anonymous]

You people are awful. I know plenty of white UMC white families who think nothing of sending their four year old over to play on a playground while they watch their older kids play a soccer game - and you can bet the reaction would be much different if one of those little girls disappeared. And those are families where helicoptering is much more socialized than in some other cultures (as a PP said, 30 years ago, sending kids off to play was the norm). The racism and judgement on here is amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Not quite. They aren’t “others” because of their skin color. They are “other” because we are talking about a teen mom with 3 kids. This story is about a person who makes bad decisions.

How do you

Jesus. You act like this mom was out doing drugs while her kids were who knows where. She was taking the kids to the playground. She was helping the older child with her homework. You keep telling yourself that it’s not because of her skin color.

That is the mom's story. We don't really know what happened to Dulce, do we? Can we just assume that a mother who would allow her 3 and 5 year old to play alone on a playground while she was distracted a good distance away AND then did not call the police for an hour or more once the child was discovered missing...is also completely trustworthy and truthful?

This is a 19 year old girl who has two children and is pregnant with a third (3 different fathers). Her reality is not something that most of us could ever relate to. You don't know who she was hanging around with or what she may have been involved in. She could be lying because she is terrified for all we know.

How do you know all of this background info about the mother?

I’m not the pp you quoted, but all of this info is in various mainstream news articles.

EXACTLY my point! Why is the media focusing so much around the personal life of the mom when there is a 5yo child that needs to be found and has been missing for 6 days? It’s completely distracting to the search for this girl.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised that there were witnesses who saw a little girl being lured into a van and didn’t scream holy hell at the time. Such an awful situation.
And I totally agree that there are plenty of UMC white women who let younger sibs play at a playground while they are watching older sibs play soccer or baseball at the next field over. I would let a 5 year old do that.

[Anonymous]

I hold nothing against the mother. 99.999% of the time you can let your kids play 30 yards away on a playground and nothing will happen. Stranger abduction is exceedingly rare.

It is also reasonable to assume the little girl is playing hide and seek or ran off and got lost. Looking for her on your own makes sense. Mom wouldn't have been thinking abduction.

Mom's current boyfriend is here illegally. Calling police has big implications for her but she did it as soon as she had searched and couldn't find the child. Police arrested him and turned him over to ICE (some outlets say he has been released in good faith as many in that neighborhood are here illegally and they want community members to talk). They are saying there is now an amnesty but arresting him immediately didn't help the police's case.

Grandparents had custody of the 5 and 3 year old likely due to mom's age. It really makes no difference as to who mom is or her age or anything - as it doesn't look like any of that is related to the disappearance.

Police don't know for sure if she got into the van. They are still investigating. They were able to find many people who were in the vicinity that day though reviewing camera footage but that is a painstaking task. Hopefully more information surfaces.

If this was a straight stranger abduction (not drug or mom related in any way) that is worse news and stats would say this little one is already gone. There is always a chance now.

Regardless of any ones' age or life choices, a little girl is missing and family is devastated and in great distress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are awful. I know plenty of white UMC white families who think nothing of sending their four year old over to play on a playground while they watch their older kids play a soccer game - and you can bet the reaction would be much different if one of those little girls disappeared. And those are families where helicoptering is much more socialized than in some other cultures (as a PP said, 30 years ago, sending kids off to play was the norm). The racism and judgement on here is amazing.

Usually with a soccer game at least the younger siblings are going to a playground to pay with the siblings of the other players. There are most often other parents standing there and watching their own kids play.

I, personally, would never send my preschooler/kinder kid over to a playground for the other parents to watch....but I know that some parents do. Those parents do suck and, yes, they are judged.

But even the clueless parents wouldn't sit in a car while they sent their THREE and FIVE year old off to play on the swings with no other familiar faces around to watch over them. That is just beyond careless. And if an educated 30 something person did this there I would tend to judge them way more harshly.

I think this 19 year old kid was simply overwhelmed and still a kid herself. That actually makes me feel some sympathy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hold nothing against the mother. 99.999% of the time you can let your kids play 30 yards away on a playground and nothing will happen. Stranger abduction is exceedingly rare.

It is also reasonable to assume the little girl is playing hide and seek or ran off and got lost. Looking for her on your own makes sense. Mom wouldn't have been thinking abduction.

Mom's current boyfriend is here illegally. Calling police has big implications for her but she did it as soon as she had searched and couldn't find the child. Police arrested him and turned him over to ICE (some outlets say he has been released in good faith as many in that neighborhood are here illegally and they want community members to talk). They are saying there is now an amnesty but arresting him immediately didn't help the police's case.

Grandparents had custody of the 5 and 3 year old likely due to mom's age. It really makes no difference as to who mom is or her age or anything - as it doesn't look like any of that is related to the disappearance.

Police don't know for sure if she got into the van. They are still investigating. They were able to find many people who were in the vicinity that day though reviewing camera footage but that is a painstaking task. Hopefully more information surfaces.

If this was a straight stranger abduction (not drug or mom related in any way) that is worse news and stats would say this little one is already gone. There is always a chance now.

Regardless of any ones' age or life choices, a little girl is missing and family is devastated and in great distress.

The mom's story doesn't quite add up to me. Who takes a little girl to play at the park in heeled dress shoes? But again, maybe it's just a parental judgement issue on the part of a very young mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hold nothing against the mother. 99.999% of the time you can let your kids play 30 yards away on a playground and nothing will happen. Stranger abduction is exceedingly rare.

It is also reasonable to assume the little girl is playing hide and seek or ran off and got lost. Looking for her on your own makes sense. Mom wouldn't have been thinking abduction.

Mom's current boyfriend is here illegally. Calling police has big implications for her but she did it as soon as she had searched and couldn't find the child. Police arrested him and turned him over to ICE (some outlets say he has been released in good faith as many in that neighborhood are here illegally and they want community members to talk). They are saying there is now an amnesty but arresting him immediately didn't help the police's case.

Grandparents had custody of the 5 and 3 year old likely due to mom's age. It really makes no difference as to who mom is or her age or anything - as it doesn't look like any of that is related to the disappearance.

Police don't know for sure if she got into the van. They are still investigating. They were able to find many people who were in the vicinity that day though reviewing camera footage but that is a painstaking task. Hopefully more information surfaces.

If this was a straight stranger abduction (not drug or mom related in any way) that is worse news and stats would say this little one is already gone. There is always a chance now.

Regardless of any ones' age or life choices, a little girl is missing and family is devastated and in great distress.

The mom's story doesn't quite add up to me. Who takes a little girl to play at the park in heeled dress shoes? But again, maybe it's just a parental judgement issue on the part of a very young mom.

Tbh lots of Hispanic little girls wear those shoes to school and play and whatnot. That doesn’t register as unusual to me at all, it’s a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Nailed it.

+1000

Bingo. It's an other, so the mother did something wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that there were witnesses who saw a little girl being lured into a van and didn’t scream holy hell at the time. Such an awful situation.
And I totally agree that there are plenty of UMC white women who let younger sibs play at a playground while they are watching older sibs play soccer or baseball at the next field over. I would let a 5 year old do that.

This is the part that jumps out to me, too. I just don't understand why someone didn't say something or do something. At the very least I would have asked the little girl if she knew the person/vehicle or where her mom was. Usually when I was at the park with my kids when they were younger I would see kids arrive and subconsciously associate them with the person they arrived with. Then if a kid fell or looked lost I would look around to see if I could see the parent. I can't believe I am the only person who does this, which is why it is so upsetting that people saw the little girl being lured away yet they did nothing.

I totally think all the hate is coming onto this mom because of her circumstances. If it was an UMC child we would have helicopters out, there would be a Go Fund Me, and basically the DMV area would be at a standstill while the search was conducted.

I am so concerned for this little girl. Frankly I am praying that this is a custodial issue and not a drug/sex trafficking or sexual predator situation. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like it is custodial from the reports I've read this morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Not quite. They aren’t “others” because of their skin color. They are “other” because we are talking about a teen mom with 3 kids. This story is about a person who makes bad decisions.

Jesus. You act like this mom was out doing drugs while her kids were who knows where. She was taking the kids to the playground. She was helping the older child with her homework. You keep telling yourself that it’s not because of her skin color.

That is the mom's story. We don't really know what happened to Dulce, do we? Can we just assume that a mother who would allow her 3 and 5 year old to play alone on a playground while she was distracted a good distance away AND then did not call the police for an hour or more once the child was discovered missing...is also completely trustworthy and truthful?

This is a 19 year old girl who has two children and is pregnant with a third (3 different fathers). Her reality is not something that most of us could ever relate to. You don't know who she was hanging around with or what she may have been involved in. She could be lying because she is terrified for all we know.

Yet you feel completely justified judging the f*ck out of her situation, while admitting you can’t relate to it. That says a lot about you, at least as much as you think it says about her.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, I don't think she's alive anymore. This can't end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Nailed it.

+1000

Bingo. It's an other, so the mother did something wrong.

Oh bull. If some bleach blond high society mom sent her young children off to play while she stayed in the car and then waited AN HOUR to call 911 - she would be judged very harshly.

If anything this young 19 year old mother is being given a pass because she is so young and had so much on her plate. What she did was pretty stupid but she's also little more than a kid herself and kids sometimes do stupid, careless things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are awful. I know plenty of white UMC white families who think nothing of sending their four year old over to play on a playground while they watch their older kids play a soccer game - and you can bet the reaction would be much different if one of those little girls disappeared. And those are families where helicoptering is much more socialized than in some other cultures (as a PP said, 30 years ago, sending kids off to play was the norm). The racism and judgement on here is amazing.

In white speak, it's called free range parenting. It's applauded and what smart, higher- thinking people do. When it's a latino or black family, it's neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs who are blaming the mom are seriously disgusting me right now. Callous, uncalled for, and placing blame in the wrong hands. The risk of abduction is remarkably low, the lowest it’s ever been in history. Yes it happens, and lightning can also strike your child. I just can’t believe that when this is clearly a case where the child is taken by a stranger and meant to be harmed in a horrible way, the focus is on the “neglect” of the mother who dared to take her children to the playground while helping her niece with her homework in her car.

First she wasn't watching her young children or she would have noticed a man luring her 5 year old into a van. Then she waited an HOUR to call the police - WTH??

Ok I am PP and reading these responses and I finally get it. I was trying to figure out why the media coverage was so inconsistent and inaccurate and why so many people are just like - well it was the mom’s fault her child got abducted. It’s because the child was an “other” and the mom was an “other”. If she were a blue eyed blond little girl, there would be a well-controlled media message to GET THIS GIRL FOUND AND HOME AND SAFE, thoughts and prayers for the family, protectiveness for the family, and focus on finding her instead of placing blame on the mother.

Not quite. They aren’t “others” because of their skin color. They are “other” because we are talking about a teen mom with 3 kids. This story is about a person who makes bad decisions.

Jesus. You act like this mom was out doing drugs while her kids were who knows where. She was taking the kids to the playground. She was helping the older child with her homework. You keep telling yourself that it’s not because of her skin color.

That is the mom's story. We don't really know what happened to Dulce, do we? Can we just assume that a mother who would allow her 3 and 5 year old to play alone on a playground while she was distracted a good distance away AND then did not call the police for an hour or more once the child was discovered missing...is also completely trustworthy and truthful?

This is a 19 year old girl who has two children and is pregnant with a third (3 different fathers). Her reality is not something that most of us could ever relate to. You don't know who she was hanging around with or what she may have been involved in. She could be lying because she is terrified for all we know.

Yet you feel completely justified judging the f*ck out of her situation, while admitting you can’t relate to it. That says a lot about you, at least as much as you think it says about her.

Oh good lord, calm the hell down. A 19 year old girl who has a 5 and a 3 year old plus another baby on the way has led a different kind of life than the average teenage girl. I mean DUH! Of course she has been around influences and had experiences that are atypical for the average 19 year old.

Part of having compassion for her situation is in seeing that she has had a much harsher reality to contend with than the average teenage kid does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are awful. I know plenty of white UMC white families who think nothing of sending their four year old over to play on a playground while they watch their older kids play a soccer game - and you can bet the reaction would be much different if one of those little girls disappeared. And those are families where helicoptering is much more socialized than in some other cultures (as a PP said, 30 years ago, sending kids off to play was the norm). The racism and judgement on here is amazing.

In white speak, it's called free range parenting. It's applauded and what smart, higher- thinking people do. When it's a latino or black family, it's neglect.

No, the "free range" my child is your child and your problem crowd are pretty much all one in the same. You think skin color matters, maybe they do to....but really it's just crappy parenting across the board.