DH is claiming to be Jewish with no verifiable proof.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

DH was not sure how to go about all of it. The rabbi had asked for verifiable proof so DH could participate in the birthright trip. I think DH got the idea that he needed to have some kind of proof of his heritage in order to participate in any kind of practice within the jewish community. Again, with limited resources and difficulty with translation, also the family tale that his great grandmother may have converted made the research all the more difficult.

DH does absolutley collect judaica, but I think it's because he wants to have a connection to Jewish culture but has no idea how to go about all of it. He's told me he feels like an outsider, but doesn't know what to do.

I'm fine with whatever choice he makes. But again, I'm not religious at all and have no interest in converting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH was not sure how to go about all of it. The rabbi had asked for verifiable proof so DH could participate in the birthright trip. I think DH got the idea that he needed to have some kind of proof of his heritage in order to participate in any kind of practice within the jewish community. Again, with limited resources and difficulty with translation, also the family tale that his great grandmother may have converted made the research all the more difficult.

DH does absolutley collect judaica, but I think it's because he wants to have a connection to Jewish culture but has no idea how to go about all of it. He's told me he feels like an outsider, but doesn't know what to do.

I'm fine with whatever choice he makes. But again, I'm not religious at all and have no interest in converting.

Oh! Yes, that’s so you don’t have non-Jews making their way into a funded trip, whether to get a free trip or to proselytize. That has nothing to do with conversion, attending synagogue, or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so this story sounds a bit bizarre but.

10 years ago, prior to us meeting DH began a search into his family history. He found that he may have some Ashkenazi Jewish ancestors from Poland on Ancestry. He spoke with a rabbi in town who he began taking classes with and was urged to find some verifiable proof of his lineage. He came to a dead end, struggling with the dated records and polish translations and limited records available online. He has names and dates of very Jewish sounding ancestors (last name is something along the lines of Koen), but he hasn't been able to find the proof he is so desperately searching for.

That being said, none of his family is observant. His mother was estranged from her own grandmother who was the last person in his family believed to have been an observant Jew, and she had some degree of mental illness and there is a lot of dark family history there.

DH hung a Mezuzah. He wants to send our 8 month old son to a Jewish preschool when he is of the proper age. We have prayer shawls and yarmulkes and Judaica for the jewish holidays but DH has no idea how to go about it. He buys this stuff but it just kind of sits there, around the house. He is hesitant to reach out to a Rabbi again, knowing he would likely need some kind of proof in order to be accepted into the Jewish community. But, it all seems a bit much. DH didn't grow up with any observant religious family members and I think this is some kind of soul-searching for him. I'm trying to be supportive but short of hiring a genealogist who is well versed in eastern poland genealogy, he has hit a dead end. He is considering converting but we are on limited funds and he would have to pay for several Hebrew classes and introductory classes, taking up alot of our time and money.

What do I do? I'm trying to be supportive, but this is hard as i'm not religious myself. I'm not sure where all of this came from. This seems to be some kind of quest for DH to prove his ancestry.

Sounds like he likes the idea of being Jewish, but has no religious convictions. Pretty shallow and embarrassing.

I knew someone who converted just so she could attend the same temple as Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so this story sounds a bit bizarre but.

10 years ago, prior to us meeting DH began a search into his family history. He found that he may have some Ashkenazi Jewish ancestors from Poland on Ancestry. He spoke with a rabbi in town who he began taking classes with and was urged to find some verifiable proof of his lineage. He came to a dead end, struggling with the dated records and polish translations and limited records available online. He has names and dates of very Jewish sounding ancestors (last name is something along the lines of Koen), but he hasn't been able to find the proof he is so desperately searching for.

That being said, none of his family is observant. His mother was estranged from her own grandmother who was the last person in his family believed to have been an observant Jew, and she had some degree of mental illness and there is a lot of dark family history there.

DH hung a Mezuzah. He wants to send our 8 month old son to a Jewish preschool when he is of the proper age. We have prayer shawls and yarmulkes and Judaica for the jewish holidays but DH has no idea how to go about it. He buys this stuff but it just kind of sits there, around the house. He is hesitant to reach out to a Rabbi again, knowing he would likely need some kind of proof in order to be accepted into the Jewish community. But, it all seems a bit much. DH didn't grow up with any observant religious family members and I think this is some kind of soul-searching for him. I'm trying to be supportive but short of hiring a genealogist who is well versed in eastern poland genealogy, he has hit a dead end. He is considering converting but we are on limited funds and he would have to pay for several Hebrew classes and introductory classes, taking up alot of our time and money.

What do I do? I'm trying to be supportive, but this is hard as i'm not religious myself. I'm not sure where all of this came from. This seems to be some kind of quest for DH to prove his ancestry.

Sounds like he likes the idea of being Jewish, but has no religious convictions. Pretty shallow and embarrassing.

I knew someone who converted just so she could attend the same temple as Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

I seriously doubt that's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do a dna test, that is very controversial and does not prove anything
What is available online is only what is in American records. Sounds like you need information on records in Poland but are not sure how to research that further

DNA tests are not very controversial. Some people are not comfortable doing them; while others are. They aren't 100% accurate as far as heritage but are a somewhat accurate indicator of ethnicity that will be improved over time. A rabbi is not going to accept Ancestry DNA results that say someone is 12% Jewish as "proof" that the person is Jewish, but the DNA results can lead to clues about which side of the family his Jewish ancestors are (if any) and also lead to family matches who might have more documented evidence of his Jewish family. One clue at a time.

Genealogical records online are absolutely not ONLY American records. There are records from countries all over the world on many different databases online including Ancestry, Family Search, My Heritage, JewishGen, JRI-Poland, Yad Vashem, and countless other databases. Jewish records from Eastern Europe are a bit more difficult to find than some other countries' records, but some are available online. I have found census records from a Polish city that my Jewish 3rd great-grandfather lived in in 1875 on JRI-Poland; I found Holocaust records on Yad Vashem; and I've found non-Jewish records from Germany on Ancestry, etc. Sometimes, you get to a point where you cannot go any further online, and you have to hire a researcher on the ground in the country for help or wait until more records come online and are translated. But to say what is available online is only American records is completely false.

It sounds like this person needs to start documenting exactly what he has and follow the paper trail until he cannot go back any further. If he's not familiar with doing genealogy research, there are resources that he can use - a local Jewish genealogical society might be able to help him. Or there is an online Facebook group called Tracing the Tribe which has many helpful (some professional) genealogist on there who can help him find records - sometimes in minutes.

What he does with the information after he finds - whether it's to bringing Jewish cultural aspects into his life or pursuing becoming active in a Jewish religious life - is his call.

Source - have been a hobby genealogist for over 25 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH was not sure how to go about all of it. The rabbi had asked for verifiable proof so DH could participate in the birthright trip. I think DH got the idea that he needed to have some kind of proof of his heritage in order to participate in any kind of practice within the jewish community. Again, with limited resources and difficulty with translation, also the family tale that his great grandmother may have converted made the research all the more difficult.

DH does absolutley collect judaica, but I think it's because he wants to have a connection to Jewish culture but has no idea how to go about all of it. He's told me he feels like an outsider, but doesn't know what to do.

I'm fine with whatever choice he makes. But again, I'm not religious at all and have no interest in converting.

Oh! Yes, that’s so you don’t have non-Jews making their way into a funded trip, whether to get a free trip or to proselytize. That has nothing to do with conversion, attending synagogue, or anything like that.

How old is the DH. Isn’t there an age cut off for birthright? Plus, my child can document her half-Jewish ancestry, but still can’t go as her dad is the Jew.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I'm a semi-semite on the wrong side (my Dad's side) who was raised Unitarian. DNA test says 50% Ashkenazi, so I think the tests know what they are talking about.

If you aren't religious but something about Judiasm is inspiring your DH, by all means encourage him to explore it! He can absolutely find a community around here if he's interested. He doesn't need any genealogic link if he wants to convert. He is looking for meaning and finding it somewhere so good for him!

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound like you are ‘trying to be supportive’. It sounds like you are hoping he drops it. That’s sad. Surely you can find $$ for Hebrew school. It’s a harmless thing for him to be interested in/explore. Does it threaten/embarrass you somehow? I would help and encourage him. Maybe he will change his mind but there’s no harm in learning more about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH was not sure how to go about all of it. The rabbi had asked for verifiable proof so DH could participate in the birthright trip. I think DH got the idea that he needed to have some kind of proof of his heritage in order to participate in any kind of practice within the jewish community. Again, with limited resources and difficulty with translation, also the family tale that his great grandmother may have converted made the research all the more difficult.

DH does absolutley collect judaica, but I think it's because he wants to have a connection to Jewish culture but has no idea how to go about all of it. He's told me he feels like an outsider, but doesn't know what to do.

I'm fine with whatever choice he makes. But again, I'm not religious at all and have no interest in converting.

Oh! Yes, that’s so you don’t have non-Jews making their way into a funded trip, whether to get a free trip or to proselytize. That has nothing to do with conversion, attending synagogue, or anything like that.

How old is the DH. Isn’t there an age cut off for birthright? Plus, my child can document her half-Jewish ancestry, but still can’t go as her dad is the Jew.

My dad is the Jew and I was allowed to go when I was in college. There are no “universal” standards, as far as I know.

Isn’t the cutoff 26 or something like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I'm a semi-semite on the wrong side (my Dad's side) who was raised Unitarian. DNA test says 50% Ashkenazi, so I think the tests know what they are talking about.

If you aren't religious but something about Judiasm is inspiring your DH, by all means encourage him to explore it! He can absolutely find a community around here if he's interested. He doesn't need any genealogic link if he wants to convert. He is looking for meaning and finding it somewhere so good for him!

Agree - also on the “wrong” side as I commented above. DNA test showed 50% Ashkenazi, exactly as expected. No one has been anything but extremely supportive of me exploring the Jewish faith. Honestly, you don’t seem very supportive. This is a pretty harmless pursuit, all things considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hope he's already circumcised.

ouch! MGM alert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I'm a semi-semite on the wrong side (my Dad's side) who was raised Unitarian. DNA test says 50% Ashkenazi, so I think the tests know what they are talking about.

If you aren't religious but something about Judiasm is inspiring your DH, by all means encourage him to explore it! He can absolutely find a community around here if he's interested. He doesn't need any genealogic link if he wants to convert. He is looking for meaning and finding it somewhere so good for him!

Agree - also on the “wrong” side as I commented above. DNA test showed 50% Ashkenazi, exactly as expected. No one has been anything but extremely supportive of me exploring the Jewish faith. Honestly, you don’t seem very supportive. This is a pretty harmless pursuit, all things considered.

Well, doesn't a lot depend on whether he wants to raise the kids Jewish? That's a big issue for many people. If it's just DH exploring that's one thing, but if he wants to raise the kids Jewish, that's a separate conversation. There are non-Jews who send their kids to Jewish preschools but I'm guessing he wants to send his kids so they get the Jewish education he didn't get.

I think the genetic stuff is a bit of a red herring honestly. He can do the test if it will make him feel better to see if he has Ashkenazi or Sephardic heritage, but at the end of the day he knows very little about Judaism and will need to learn if that's the route he wants to go. And as another PP said there is no reason he can't learn even if he has no such heritage. If Judaism calls to him and he feels that connection, then good for him. But he needs to go about it in a way that's respectful to his wife who doesn't want to convert, and work out what it will mean for his family. I can see why OP might feel a bit intimidated, particularly if this is something that has come up recently for the first time. If my husband suddenly told me he wanted to explore another faith I'd be pretty upset. (Especially as we are both Jewish - ha.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not do a dna test, that is very controversial and does not prove anything
What is available online is only what is in American records. Sounds like you need information on records in Poland but are not sure how to research that further

DNA tests are not very controversial. Some people are not comfortable doing them; while others are. They aren't 100% accurate as far as heritage but are a somewhat accurate indicator of ethnicity that will be improved over time. A rabbi is not going to accept Ancestry DNA results that say someone is 12% Jewish as "proof" that the person is Jewish, but the DNA results can lead to clues about which side of the family his Jewish ancestors are (if any) and also lead to family matches who might have more documented evidence of his Jewish family. One clue at a time.

Genealogical records online are absolutely not ONLY American records. There are records from countries all over the world on many different databases online including Ancestry, Family Search, My Heritage, JewishGen, JRI-Poland, Yad Vashem, and countless other databases. Jewish records from Eastern Europe are a bit more difficult to find than some other countries' records, but some are available online. I have found census records from a Polish city that my Jewish 3rd great-grandfather lived in in 1875 on JRI-Poland; I found Holocaust records on Yad Vashem; and I've found non-Jewish records from Germany on Ancestry, etc. Sometimes, you get to a point where you cannot go any further online, and you have to hire a researcher on the ground in the country for help or wait until more records come online and are translated. But to say what is available online is only American records is completely false.

It sounds like this person needs to start documenting exactly what he has and follow the paper trail until he cannot go back any further. If he's not familiar with doing genealogy research, there are resources that he can use - a local Jewish genealogical society might be able to help him. Or there is an online Facebook group called Tracing the Tribe which has many helpful (some professional) genealogist on there who can help him find records - sometimes in minutes.

What he does with the information after he finds - whether it's to bringing Jewish cultural aspects into his life or pursuing becoming active in a Jewish religious life - is his call.

Source - have been a hobby genealogist for over 25 years

Stop promoting DNA tests, you are entitled to your dna privacy. The results will not make you Jewish.
Sounds like grandma disowned her daughter and most likely had a 'funeral' for her as well. Why try and join a community that through you out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not do a dna test, that is very controversial and does not prove anything
What is available online is only what is in American records. Sounds like you need information on records in Poland but are not sure how to research that further

DNA tests are not very controversial. Some people are not comfortable doing them; while others are. They aren't 100% accurate as far as heritage but are a somewhat accurate indicator of ethnicity that will be improved over time. A rabbi is not going to accept Ancestry DNA results that say someone is 12% Jewish as "proof" that the person is Jewish, but the DNA results can lead to clues about which side of the family his Jewish ancestors are (if any) and also lead to family matches who might have more documented evidence of his Jewish family. One clue at a time.

Genealogical records online are absolutely not ONLY American records. There are records from countries all over the world on many different databases online including Ancestry, Family Search, My Heritage, JewishGen, JRI-Poland, Yad Vashem, and countless other databases. Jewish records from Eastern Europe are a bit more difficult to find than some other countries' records, but some are available online. I have found census records from a Polish city that my Jewish 3rd great-grandfather lived in in 1875 on JRI-Poland; I found Holocaust records on Yad Vashem; and I've found non-Jewish records from Germany on Ancestry, etc. Sometimes, you get to a point where you cannot go any further online, and you have to hire a researcher on the ground in the country for help or wait until more records come online and are translated. But to say what is available online is only American records is completely false.

It sounds like this person needs to start documenting exactly what he has and follow the paper trail until he cannot go back any further. If he's not familiar with doing genealogy research, there are resources that he can use - a local Jewish genealogical society might be able to help him. Or there is an online Facebook group called Tracing the Tribe which has many helpful (some professional) genealogist on there who can help him find records - sometimes in minutes.

What he does with the information after he finds - whether it's to bringing Jewish cultural aspects into his life or pursuing becoming active in a Jewish religious life - is his call.

Source - have been a hobby genealogist for over 25 years

Stop promoting DNA tests, you are entitled to your dna privacy. The results will not make you Jewish.
Sounds like grandma disowned her daughter and most likely had a 'funeral' for her as well. Why try and join a community that through you out?

Umm, if he has Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, then yes -- they would make him Jewish, regardless of whether he ever practices. The same holds for Sephardic Jews, but it's harder to ascertain that heritage from DNA tests.

- An Ashkenazi Jew

[Anonymous]

Man, this seems annoying already.