How to deal with a rough new 5 year old neighbor who can't keep her hands to herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I'll probably get flamed for this, but I have a small DD that rough kids will target, so I make them cry. I don't scream but I definitely raise my voice and reprimand them. Either they get it and back off, or their parents hate me so much that they keep their kid away from us. It's win-win for us either way.

I know it's harsh but I got so sick of clueless parents who can't be bothered to teach their kids how to behave. Kids aren't going to learn boundaries unless other people enforce them.

This is not "win-win." Your DD will get older but those kids will never forget you as the weird mom and the weird daughter. THEY will be staying away from YOU and your DD, long after the situation is resolved.

I feel sorry for the girl, OP. I know you have your own DC to think about but you could change this kid's life if you gave her some help instead of avoiding her. You can tell her that the rule is, no touching. Keep your hands to yourself. Maybe she'll get it.

Yeah no. You protect your kids. My DD was at the playground and a child won’t stop picking on her. Telling her nicely not to do it didn’t work. She actually made an angry face and said you make me so angry to me. Then my DD went onto a very tall slide and this child followed her and you could just tell she was about to push her off that height and could really seriously injure her. I hoisted myself up to level st the child’s face and said loudly and sternly, no pushing. You get me? And when she nodded scared I said again you understand me? I rather be the weird mom then a concusses child.

Not the original poster with the DD

[Anonymous]

Teach your kid about boundaries. Teach him about saying no, not touching, etc. All people need these tools..ot would be a craft bonus of be can display this behavior and she can see it and potentially internalize that she can have boundaries too. (You and your child and not responsible for teaching her. It's just great for anyone to see boundaries in action. )

She may not realize she can say no to other presences in her life.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has ADHD. A lot of kids with it manifest with the need to touch others or on the other end, to avoid being touched.

[Anonymous]

While I agree the OP should absolutely stand up for her daughter and teach her to stand up for herself, gotta wonder if those who blame "lazy parents" also blame lazy parents for the kids who are peeing all over the place at my kids preschools and pre-k in classrooms that mandate children be potty-trained prior to enrollment. Or the kids with speech delays or dyslexia that slow down pace of rest of classroom to accommodate their issues -- can we blame lazy parents for that too?

Something tells me lots of those blaming other parents for this issue, which could be a developmental matter, expect understanding and empathy for their kids in other areas.

[Anonymous]

Take the long view, OP. I like what one of the PP suggested about how she handled pushing at the pool. Be direct and kind, and even admit that it may very well be your kid she needs to talk to you about the next time around. Treat it like something that can be handled.

Talk with your child too about what to say and how to respond. Role play even—that’s good for any kindergartner anyway.

But don’t sour that relationship—kids grow and mature, and meanwhile you could have if not friends at least people who can rely on each other in your neighbors.

Our next door neighbors and our family feel so incredibly lucky to have each other. We do a lot for and with each other. And, yes, there was even a boundary-challenged five year old in the mix.