I feel like I’m losing all my friends in my 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be that is a phase of life, and also just a phase during the year.

We're nearing the end of summer. It's hot outside. Everyone is just returning from (or still on) vacation. DC is a ghost town in August.

I bet once school starts again, things will pick up, and by the holidays you'll be lamenting 'just one free weekend!'

I live in a close-in suburb, and there's always something going on. Our street has a book club, cocktail crawl, casual backyard get-togethers. There are also tons of outdoor gathering places (there's a new beer garden), tons of festivals, farmers markets, yoga, art classes, etc.

I bet your neighborhood is similar, and there are plenty of ways to branch out once the kids are back in school. Not to mention volunteering!

Pretty sure this isn't OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my forties and have three children. My kids are getting older so they have their own friends. It isn’t like when a bunch of moms hosted play dates. I don’t go out to happy hour and hang with those types of friends. Some friends are getting divorced. Many marriages in trouble. Some are struggling with health or finances. I want to be a good friend but can’t help but feel we are all just drifting apart.

I empathize. It is hard making friends as an adult. Everyone I consider a friend or friendly acquaintance I met through my kids when we moved here while kids in ES. 5 years later kids off being teens & setting own meetups I am alone a lot.

I suppose I should make an effort to extend an invitation, but my hesitation is that I am not in a couple any longer and getting together as couples w w/o families was the usual hang out.

Perhaps I overestimated the connection I had w the other moms. Now the group is no more and I never did the 1:1 thing.

So no advice. Just telling you - others in same boat. Maybe we should reach out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling with this too. Moved about a year ago to a new community and thought I had developed friendships. They were totally outside of my kids' schools, which are oddly closed off here. Invited people over, invited people out, etc. But then post after post on FB of people getting together without me made me realize they weren't my friends. They were just accepting invitations. So regrouping now and trying to figure out how to start over in this new community. It's just bizarre to me that I'm a 40s woman with no friendships. Never thought that would happen.

Are you still in the DC area? I've been here 30 years and friends are very hard to come by. Compare this to the fact that I'm originally from the North East and still feel very close to people I went to high school with, even if we weren't friends then. Were it not for them and for my family up there, I would feel much more lonely then I already do. Add to that, as a PP said, when there's a lot of traumatic events, health or otherwise, around you and with you, the anxiety can be completely paralyzing at time.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and I have a rich fantasy life where I pack my bags, take off in my car and go where I want to go! I HATE this area.