Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take screenshots of the texts and pictures and text them to yourself, then talk to him.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im the pp -- with a bit of a shame-face i want to add that I am a good person(never cheated) in a great marriage who ended up enmeshed in an inappropriate attraction to another never-cheater. I think it shocked us both but at some point the feelings take over -- it was really hard to cut it off.

please help him get out of this before too late!

This is pretty much 90% of affairs. Good people get caught up. Happens to most people at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im the pp -- with a bit of a shame-face i want to add that I am a good person(never cheated) in a great marriage who ended up enmeshed in an inappropriate attraction to another never-cheater. I think it shocked us both but at some point the feelings take over -- it was really hard to cut it off.

please help him get out of this before too late!

This is pretty much 90% of affairs. Good people get caught up. Happens to most people at some point.

Yes! This is why OP needs to nip it in the bud immediately and her and her husband need to talk about setting appropriate boundaries to ward off the peripheral people attempting to penetrate their relationship.

Either OPs husband should call the other woman while OP is listening and explain that the behavior between them is inaproppriate and has to stop. Or OP and her husband should craft a text msg stating the same thing and Ops husband should send the text message.

[Anonymous]

OP- did you confront? Please update.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH went to a reunion of the people he knew in elementary and middle school. Some had kept in touch on FB. So he flew out to his old town and stayed with relatives he hasn't seen in a while.

The reunion was at a restaurant and on FB he posted a picture that someone took of a bunch of them standing in front of a table. Anyway, a woman in the picture instead of looking at the camera is facing him and smiling. For whatever intuition, I looked her up and she posted a number of pictures, including one where he is sitting and she is behind him with her arms around his neck.

OK, by itself I'm not going to make a deal out of it but what happened next raised my eyebrows. DH was cutting the grass when the alarm on his phone kept ringing. When I turned it off, noticed his text messaging was open and it appears there has been a lot of traffic between the two. Nothing overtly sexual but teasing and double entendres. Here is an example:

Her: (picture of her in a bathing suit bending over) "having a hard day"?

Him:. Emojis, then "LOL, I need a cold shower"

DH is not the affair type. When we met, he was the guy who wouldn't know a woman was interested in him if she put a sign up saying, please ask me out. I do know that if I raised this he would be extremely embarrassed. Monitor and let it slide if the communication drops or say something?

Actually, he is.

[Anonymous]

WTH? Nothing overtly sexual?!? Would you send a text like that to a married man that you were strictly platonic friends with? Would you expect that response? I mean, I'm thinking of the many men I know (friends, coworkers, friends' husbands, dads at school) and I cannot fathom sending any of them a text like that. There's nothing remotely "just friends" about that exchange.

Seriously, if I found that exchange on my DH's phone, he would be on the couch for a week, at least, and doing some pretty hard-core pleading to get back in my good graces.

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

Girl, there is no "affair type." It doesn't work that way. Your nice guy husband got some attention from a flirtatious woman and it felt good to him. Maybe he will feel remorseful about that when confronted. Maybe not. Either way, since you know about it, I think confronting him would be the best option. I personally would actually call her myself and be like, "Hey Sally, this is Mary, Stan's wife. I saw your message while Stan was mowing the lawn and will be discussing how completely inappropriate your interactions with him have been. I just wanted you to know that I saw your messages and your pictures on Facebook in case you thought that you were being at all sneaky." Then hang up and go confront your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- did you confront? Please update.

It's OP and I did last night. Not going to call this other woman but the whole situation has me livid. Told DH what I found and he flat out said he used poor judgement and looked at the issue as flirting that went too far. He also said I am more than welcome to have access to his phone whenever he does not need it to prove that he is not texting with her.

What irks me is not being able to completely trust him. Is this the first time something like this has happened or the fourth or fifth? We discussed before getting married and occasionally talk about not having secrets from each other. This includes what we consider acceptable behavior at company parties, trips, etc.

I didn't get married to monitor someone, but it is going to take a while before I forget this.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like your husband made a mistake - not a super serious one - admits it and is glad to take steps to coreect it/show you that you can trust him. So trust him - but verify with phone access - and be forgiving of his mistake. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have each other - don't screw it up by constantly bringing this up in the future.

[Anonymous]

Hey honey that woman is coming on to you. Not healthy for our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like your husband made a mistake - not a super serious one - admits it and is glad to take steps to coreect it/show you that you can trust him. So trust him - but verify with phone access - and be forgiving of his mistake. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have each other - don't screw it up by constantly bringing this up in the future.

THIS a good man is hard to find

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like your husband made a mistake - not a super serious one - admits it and is glad to take steps to coreect it/show you that you can trust him. So trust him - but verify with phone access - and be forgiving of his mistake. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have each other - don't screw it up by constantly bringing this up in the future.

THIS a good man is hard to find

People make mistakes. He admitted it. Forgiving means moving on.

[Anonymous]

What she did is overtly sexual OP. She is making moves on your DH.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, when you deny your DH sex at home, remember that opportunities like thiIa are around every corner.