Not redshirting our May birthday boy?

[Anonymous]

Baltimore mom again. When my DS was in 7th grade, his teachers remarked about how immature he seemed. Of course he is since nearly all of the other boys are a year or more older than he is. Middle school teachers are far removed from the kids who do pre-first or are redshirted prior to starting kindergarten that they forget about this practice. His teacher said she was sorry later on after she compared his age to every other boy. He was the second youngest in the class and a handful of boys are 18 months older than he is. It does make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My May birthday DS is a rising Freshman this year and I wish Every Single Day that I had not sent him to kindergarten on time. He was socially and academically ready for Kindergarten, but now that he is the youngest of his rising Freshman class and since he hasn't started puberty (so looks more like a rising 8th grader), I regret sending him on time.

I don't pay attention to the DCUM redshirt-haters and wouldn't base my decision on an anonymous board, but would look at the demographics of your actual school.

Almost anyone will tell you that you never regret waiting.

My DS has a June bday, went on time, hasn't started puberty, rising 9th grader. He is short. But I don't understand why not hitting puberty in 8th grade makes you regret not holding your DS back. How would you have known at 5 whether your kid was going to be a late bloomer?

IMO, if you hold back a child just because they are shorter than their peers you are doing your child a disservice. You are being a lawnmower parent.

-signed the always shortest in class person born in late August.

I too sent my mid-June DS to K on time. Was encouraged by preschool teachers to hold him back because he was smaller. Both me and his dad are small. He will always be small. If there is no academic or social reason to hold back, I don’t see a case. So far my entering 4th DS is still doing great both academically and socially regardless of being the smallest. We work hard on building his self confidence and focusing on the positive things about being small (great hide n seek places, get kids menu longer, etc!)

[Anonymous]

Are these crazy 7 month redshirting parents only redshirting boys? Are all the girls in the grade then younger than the boys? That seems messed up.

[Anonymous]

How is this even a discussion? Why do you feel the need to post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Send him on time - he's ready. Do you really want your child to have his SEVENTH birthday in Kindergarten? How embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

Ok, feb to May is 3 months not 4, feb to August is 6 months not 7. You are exaggerating the potential age gaps. Yes, 15 or 18 months difference is still very big. But realistically how many kids w February bdays will be redshirted? My guess is very few if any.

[Anonymous]

I think public schools should start enforcing their cut off date. If you're holding your kid back a year, you need a medical diagnosis. "My kid is short" is NOT a medical diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

Completely. Where I live, the cutoff is end of the calendar year. Feb kids are among the oldest. My DC has a fall birthday. A February redshirted kid would turn 7 in K. That kid would be in K older than my child was when she started 2ND GRADE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

Ok, feb to May is 3 months not 4, feb to August is 6 months not 7. You are exaggerating the potential age gaps. Yes, 15 or 18 months difference is still very big. But realistically how many kids w February bdays will be redshirted? My guess is very few if any.

OP just said she knows a bunch of february birthdays redshirting. Those parents are neglectful and disgusting. They are going to have 20 year old GROWN men in high school. It's so gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My May birthday DS is a rising Freshman this year and I wish Every Single Day that I had not sent him to kindergarten on time. He was socially and academically ready for Kindergarten, but now that he is the youngest of his rising Freshman class and since he hasn't started puberty (so looks more like a rising 8th grader), I regret sending him on time.

I don't pay attention to the DCUM redshirt-haters and wouldn't base my decision on an anonymous board, but would look at the demographics of your actual school.

Almost anyone will tell you that you never regret waiting.

That's not true - a ton of parents on this board will come on and say that they regret it. That their kids are bored, acting up, etc as the oldest and largest child in K. As the mother of the youngest child in Kindergarten, I see this. It's the redshirted boys that are much larger than her and bullying her. Her K teacher has flat out said it's been a big problem in her classroom the past several years. YOU'RE not the one whose 5 year old daughter comes home crying because a boy two years older and 20-30 pounds heavier than her has been bullying her - saying mean things, pushing her down, taking her things. SHAME ON YOU, and shame on all the parents who hold their kids back a year so they can terrorize the younger APPROPRIATELY AGED children.

Why can't people just follow the rules???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are in Nashville. It may be more common here. I would say most of May boy bdays will be redshirted. Maybe a little more than half of Feb-April and 80 percent of summer.

There are no developmental concerns at all and one of the biggest in his grade. It just goes back to him being so much younger since soooo many are opting to redshirt. I wouldn’t even consider it but some of these kids will be turning 7 before he turns 6. If this is common in your area, how do teachers handle this? At this moment, we are planning to go on time, but I’m concerned that my kid won’t even have a shot keeping up with kids academically.

I know many parents opt to red shirt so their kids are able to keep up socially but he already has a number of friends if he goes on time. If we held him back he wouldn’t know many of the kids.

I wouldn't worry about academics. I'd worry about bullying.

[Anonymous]

The rules in Virginia say that you have to start a kid in ES by 6, so that means that you can start your kid in Kindergarten as a 6 year old. It might be something that is becoming more common now but there have always been kids who start K as a 6 year old. My brother, an August birthday, started at 5 and the teachers strongly suggested to my parents that he be pulled from K half way into the year. He restarted at 6. It does seem like it is becoming mre common place and less for academic issues and more for social/sports issues.

[Anonymous]

I started my June and July children on time. Redshirting is super regional. My June son is the youngest in his grade in the state we live in now and was middle of the road in this area. I wonder if we should hold him back at some point but I doubt we will do it. My July daughter is in a young cohort but she is not the very youngest.

I would not hold back May. That is insane to me. That means you are 7 leaving kinder. What the what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these crazy 7 month redshirting parents only redshirting boys? Are all the girls in the grade then younger than the boys? That seems messed up.

I’m in Texas and yes this is absolutely the case.

It is so so weird, I agree.