Can I legally ask a nanny candidate if she has children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A nanny position isn’t like an office job. There is no one to cover for her if she can’t come to work if her child is home sick. Fair or unfair, it is what it is. Not all jobs are right for all stages of a person’s life. Nannies with school aged children should work in daycares or preschools where there is someone to cover continual unexpected absences.

That is the truth.

Parents who are so self-centered and bigoted that they would discriminate against a mother in hiring should put their kids in a daycare of a preschool, since there will always be backup care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny position isn’t like an office job. There is no one to cover for her if she can’t come to work if her child is home sick. Fair or unfair, it is what it is. Not all jobs are right for all stages of a person’s life. Nannies with school aged children should work in daycares or preschools where there is someone to cover continual unexpected absences.

That is the truth.

Parents who are so self-centered and bigoted that they would discriminate against a mother in hiring should put their kids in a daycare of a preschool, since there will always be backup care.

Exactly. Notice how the women who fight for “equal rights” want to deny equal rights behind their closed doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

That isn’t true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

That isn’t true.

+1. It isn’t true and is so hurtful. Nannies, especially the experienced and educated ones, work so hard for the benefit of their charges. They chose this profession. Yet because they don’t wash floors or do the pick up their employers laundry from the floor, they are insulted and lied about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny position isn’t like an office job. There is no one to cover for her if she can’t come to work if her child is home sick. Fair or unfair, it is what it is. Not all jobs are right for all stages of a person’s life. Nannies with school aged children should work in daycares or preschools where there is someone to cover continual unexpected absences.

That is the truth.

Parents who are so self-centered and bigoted that they would discriminate against a mother in hiring should put their kids in a daycare of a preschool, since there will always be backup care.

Exactly. Notice how the women who fight for “equal rights” want to deny equal rights behind their closed doors.

It's equal rights when it's convenient for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

Nanny found the thread.

That isn’t true.

+1. It isn’t true and is so hurtful. Nannies, especially the experienced and educated ones, work so hard for the benefit of their charges. They chose this profession. Yet because they don’t wash floors or do the pick up their employers laundry from the floor, they are insulted and lied about.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can ask. No, you cannot base your hiring decision on her family status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny position isn’t like an office job. There is no one to cover for her if she can’t come to work if her child is home sick. Fair or unfair, it is what it is. Not all jobs are right for all stages of a person’s life. Nannies with school aged children should work in daycares or preschools where there is someone to cover continual unexpected absences.

That is the truth.

I'm curious what job you have? Because if you think that it's easy for office jobs or daycare/preschool jobs to have someone cover, then it would seem that it would be easy for your office to cover for you, right? So you can just be your own back up provider.

On the flip side you are also expected to cover your co-workers absences.. so a nanny who is only take take can't adjust her schedule to make up the time and won't be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

That isn’t true.

+1. It isn’t true and is so hurtful. Nannies, especially the experienced and educated ones, work so hard for the benefit of their charges. They chose this profession. Yet because they don’t wash floors or do the pick up their employers laundry from the floor, they are insulted and lied about.

they can’t even match a SAHM in productivity. No insult. Just facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

That isn’t true.

+1. It isn’t true and is so hurtful. Nannies, especially the experienced and educated ones, work so hard for the benefit of their charges. They chose this profession. Yet because they don’t wash floors or do the pick up their employers laundry from the floor, they are insulted and lied about.

they can’t even match a SAHM in productivity. No insult. Just facts.

Productivity?! Oh my God, now I have heard it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the real-life families I know who hire nannies expect light housework but every nanny on DCUM claims it’s a crime against humanity to expect. Something weird going on there.

And then the DCUM nannies say, if you expect light housework your nanny will compromise on care and just sit your kid in front of a screen while they’re doing those tasks. As if every single SAHM is providing her kids with sub-par care because she’s also maintaining the household cleanliness. It’s wild.

I don't really have an opinion on nanny housework, as I've never used a nanny, but I also think that the idea of an adult, whether a parent or paid, doing nothing but doting on a child is problematic. It's good for kids to be told they need to play alone so the adult can put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's good for kids to go places that are boring like the grocery store, and learn to adapt their behavior to the environment. Not every minute of every day, but for portions of the day. Kids in daycare, or kids with SAHP's and siblings, or kids whose parent is at home but has another responsibility get this naturally, and they turn out fine.

Of course the nannies who tirelessly post on here about “omg nannies aren’t maids don’t ask them to unload a dishwasher!” aren’t actually doting on the kids. They’re on their phones. Policing the expectations of parents on the internet all day.

That isn’t true.

+1. It isn’t true and is so hurtful. Nannies, especially the experienced and educated ones, work so hard for the benefit of their charges. They chose this profession. Yet because they don’t wash floors or do the pick up their employers laundry from the floor, they are insulted and lied about.

they can’t even match a SAHM in productivity. No insult. Just facts.

Productivity? Maybe SAHMs should worry more about engaging their babies than chalking up housekeeping chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I’ve never had a nanny but know all about my sisters experiences with hers. Ironically, the worst were childless nannies! Always late, “sick”, calling out, lazy with light housework and so on. Her best nanny (who is now a family friend) was mother to a 5 year old and also pregnant at one point. Insanely reliable, probably bc she had a kid and knew what it’s like.

“Light housework”? We all know what kind of nannies you employ.

Picking up toys, cleaning up after kids meal prep/dishwasher are all related to the job, no?

+1 Plenty of nannies do light housework. In fact those are often the ones who don't have to find a new job every year because their job duties morph as their charges grow older.

Nannies may do tasks related to their charge.

Which is never called “light housework”. And lots of nannies today specialize in infant/toddler care or have no interest in working for a family once the youngest starts school.

I think you have a really outdated idea of what parents want in a nanny today. We want teachers not cleaners.

I’m surprised you can’t understand that different nannies have different job duties, just as different types of doctors and teachers perform different duties based on their preferences and skilled. All the people I know who have had long term nannies have had them do different types of duties as the kids change in age. The nannies who I interviewed who turned their noses up at folding laundry were the nannies who had tons of turnover in their job history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I’ve never had a nanny but know all about my sisters experiences with hers. Ironically, the worst were childless nannies! Always late, “sick”, calling out, lazy with light housework and so on. Her best nanny (who is now a family friend) was mother to a 5 year old and also pregnant at one point. Insanely reliable, probably bc she had a kid and knew what it’s like.

“Light housework”? We all know what kind of nannies you employ.

Picking up toys, cleaning up after kids meal prep/dishwasher are all related to the job, no?

+1 Plenty of nannies do light housework. In fact those are often the ones who don't have to find a new job every year because their job duties morph as their charges grow older.

Nannies may do tasks related to their charge.

Which is never called “light housework”. And lots of nannies today specialize in infant/toddler care or have no interest in working for a family once the youngest starts school.

I think you have a really outdated idea of what parents want in a nanny today. We want teachers not cleaners.

I’m surprised you can’t understand that different nannies have different job duties, just as different types of doctors and teachers perform different duties based on their preferences and skilled. All the people I know who have had long term nannies have had them do different types of duties as the kids change in age. The nannies who I interviewed who turned their noses up at folding laundry were the nannies who had tons of turnover in their job history.

Again, not all nannies want to stay after the child is in school. If you want a housekeeper-nanny, your post is true. If you want a teacher-nanny, your post is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I’ve never had a nanny but know all about my sisters experiences with hers. Ironically, the worst were childless nannies! Always late, “sick”, calling out, lazy with light housework and so on. Her best nanny (who is now a family friend) was mother to a 5 year old and also pregnant at one point. Insanely reliable, probably bc she had a kid and knew what it’s like.

“Light housework”? We all know what kind of nannies you employ.

Picking up toys, cleaning up after kids meal prep/dishwasher are all related to the job, no?

+1 Plenty of nannies do light housework. In fact those are often the ones who don't have to find a new job every year because their job duties morph as their charges grow older.

Nannies may do tasks related to their charge.

Which is never called “light housework”. And lots of nannies today specialize in infant/toddler care or have no interest in working for a family once the youngest starts school.

I think you have a really outdated idea of what parents want in a nanny today. We want teachers not cleaners.

I’m surprised you can’t understand that different nannies have different job duties, just as different types of doctors and teachers perform different duties based on their preferences and skilled. All the people I know who have had long term nannies have had them do different types of duties as the kids change in age. The nannies who I interviewed who turned their noses up at folding laundry were the nannies who had tons of turnover in their job history.

Again, not all nannies want to stay after the child is in school. If you want a housekeeper-nanny, your post is true. If you want a teacher-nanny, your post is wrong.

some nannies get attached to their charges and want to stay with them, even if the duties become more housekeeper nanny in nature. If you don't mind jumping from position to position every 2-3 years, well, you do you. we've gone out of our way to keep our spectacular nanny even when we didn't need so many hours from her, and she's been happy to accommodate because she loves our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I’ve never had a nanny but know all about my sisters experiences with hers. Ironically, the worst were childless nannies! Always late, “sick”, calling out, lazy with light housework and so on. Her best nanny (who is now a family friend) was mother to a 5 year old and also pregnant at one point. Insanely reliable, probably bc she had a kid and knew what it’s like.

“Light housework”? We all know what kind of nannies you employ.

Picking up toys, cleaning up after kids meal prep/dishwasher are all related to the job, no?

+1 Plenty of nannies do light housework. In fact those are often the ones who don't have to find a new job every year because their job duties morph as their charges grow older.

Nannies may do tasks related to their charge.

Which is never called “light housework”. And lots of nannies today specialize in infant/toddler care or have no interest in working for a family once the youngest starts school.

I think you have a really outdated idea of what parents want in a nanny today. We want teachers not cleaners.

I’m surprised you can’t understand that different nannies have different job duties, just as different types of doctors and teachers perform different duties based on their preferences and skilled. All the people I know who have had long term nannies have had them do different types of duties as the kids change in age. The nannies who I interviewed who turned their noses up at folding laundry were the nannies who had tons of turnover in their job history.

Again, not all nannies want to stay after the child is in school. If you want a housekeeper-nanny, your post is true. If you want a teacher-nanny, your post is wrong.

This exactly.