Working moms - when do you cook dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make a lot of "base dishes" in batch on the weekend and augment with other things throughout the week. Some examples:

plain penne pasta, which can be dressed up with different jarred sauces, steamed veggies (I almost exclusively buy frozen if I plan on steaming them), frozen chicken sausage from Trader Joe's, etc.

white rice, similarly dressed up with egg and avocado, steamed veggies, canned beans, fresh salmon filet (cooks up really quickly), etc

We also admittedly do a lot of very casual pb&j, bowls of oatmeal, egg omelets, etc for my kids.

DH and I are pretty easy about dinner for ourselves, if we're not eating all together as a family. He and I are almost always happy with a baguette and olive oil and tomatoes, or easy sandwiches, cereal, etc. I grew up with regular big home cooked family dinners but I had a SAHM.

Oh, and another go-to of ours is frozen meals we've made over the weekend. Lasagna, meat loaf loaded with vegetables, etc. If DH or I don't cook at all over the weekend we're much more likely to be winging it through the week. We also order in (for ourselves) about 2x/week but try not to give our young kids ordered in food. Though sometimes we'll all have pizza.

[Anonymous]

During the day care years the whole family arrived home together between 6:30 and 6:45 pm. Kids have always had an 8 pm bedtime because there was no way to fit everything in before that. Our routine was one spouse bathed the kids immediately upon arriving at home. Other spouse threw dinner together (mainly heating up meals prepped over the weekend, or very simple things like quesadillas, pasta, etc.). We have always eaten together a little after 7 pm. Followed by books and bed. Dividing and conquering on bath/pjs and dinner made it work for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post is exactly why men objected when women said they could do it ALL--"just like the men"
But the men never did do it all.
Division of labor in a household meant that there were already two full-time jobs. One for the partner who worked outisde the home and got paid for the work (typically the man), and one for the partner who took care of the household/daily operations of running a family--like shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, chlldcare.
When you try to pretend that it isn't a full time job, you run out of time to do those things.

Not that living in 1950s is the solution. But we can at least have an honest conversation about how it is not just the "working moms" responsibility to do this, right? In order for a NON-1950s arrangement to work at all, the question needs to be "working PARENTS...how do you make dinner happen during the week?"

+100000

This. And honestly most families I know have either a PT spouse or WAH spouse or “early shift” spouse. I can’t think of anyone where both parents don’t get home until 6:30. That’s really late.

Completely agree. DH and I both work full time and split the cooking duties along with laundry, etc. He also takes care of the evening bath/bedtime routine while I handle kids in the morning.

+1

Last night I walked in to meatballs in the oven and sauce and noodles on the stove. We don't have a set schedule of who does what, it's sort of more who is home and when, but our schedules fluctuate a bit and it sounds like yours don't, so just set nights for each one of you to be in charge of dinner. This should not all fall on you.

[Anonymous]

If your DH is leaving early so you have morning duty, he needs to get home in time to prep an easy dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is leaving early so you have morning duty, he needs to get home in time to prep an easy dinner.

Also, because if he's leaving early and doesn't get home until 6:30, that's a ridiculous schedule for a parent with an infant. He needs to figure his ish out so he can help around the house. He needs to figure out how to work after bedtime so he can get home before 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just back at work after mat leave with baby #2. When we just had one kid and could divide and conquer getting dinner on the table was not as challenging but now that we have two who need to be put to bed at roughly the same time I just can’t figure out how to make it work. Sometimes I used to prep dinner in the morning but I don’t have time to do that since DH leaves for work pretty early and I am alone with two kids.

DH and I get home from work around 6:30pm and bedtime routine for the baby starts at 7pm, then bedtime for older kid starts at 7:30pm. So best case I can start cooking at 8pm but honestly I am too exhausted and don’t love eating so late.

What do others do?

OP, you mentioned you and your husband getting home from work at 6:30, so do you have a nanny for the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just back at work after mat leave with baby #2. When we just had one kid and could divide and conquer getting dinner on the table was not as challenging but now that we have two who need to be put to bed at roughly the same time I just can’t figure out how to make it work. Sometimes I used to prep dinner in the morning but I don’t have time to do that since DH leaves for work pretty early and I am alone with two kids.

DH and I get home from work around 6:30pm and bedtime routine for the baby starts at 7pm, then bedtime for older kid starts at 7:30pm. So best case I can start cooking at 8pm but honestly I am too exhausted and don’t love eating so late.

What do others do?

I changed roles at my company. Probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. Before that, my kids ate leftovers from the night before, and then I cooked for myself and DH after they were in bed.

[Anonymous]

I don't actually cook anything. I just heat stuff up (or reheat leftovers).

[Anonymous]

We get home at 6:45 (kids are in daycare and we all commute together), and I usually have dinner ready by 7. Admittedly, 2 nights a week my mom brings us dinner, and occasionally we get takeout, so it's really only 2-3 meals during the workweek I have to deal with. I have a few go-to meals that I can get done in 15 minutes:

1) chicken sausages (the pre-cooked kind) on the grill and a bean salad, either pre-made or with the veggies already chopped. If corn on the cob is in season I do that on the grill too.
2) Stir fry (everything chopped and measured out the night before, rice is cooked the night before and reheated)
3) Various kinds of chilis, stews, and casseroles reheated (I usually make this for a meal on the weekend and make enough to have a second dinner during the week)
4) Tacos (shrimp with Frontera Grill sauce, ground beef or turkey with the taco seasoning you buy in an envelope, or shredded chicken made the night before) with refried beans from a can.

[Anonymous]

I know I’m repeating but crockpots have seriously saved us. My husband preps it the night before 2-3 days a week now because he’s not home til 6:30 and the toddler is hungry before then. We’ve also started doing a BUNCH of roasted veggies on Sunday that we use throughout the week. Makes things a lot easier and is truly something any husband can do even if they don’t typically cook because it’s just chopping salt pepper and olive oil. I only have one kid and even then was losing my mind trying to cook after a long day with a toddler running underfoot. The other nights I do something easy like others said - zucchini quesadillas has become a go to (shred zucchini over cheese and tortilla, add onion, put some of the already cooked roasted veggies on the side, boom). I also make a kale and butter bean recipe from cup of jo that is easy (you could search) probably every other week. If I’m really motivated I’ll roast a chicken on Sunday so I can add that to things or get rotisserie if not. Like others we often have takeout Friday night or leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During the day care years the whole family arrived home together between 6:30 and 6:45 pm. Kids have always had an 8 pm bedtime because there was no way to fit everything in before that. Our routine was one spouse bathed the kids immediately upon arriving at home. Other spouse threw dinner together (mainly heating up meals prepped over the weekend, or very simple things like quesadillas, pasta, etc.). We have always eaten together a little after 7 pm. Followed by books and bed. Dividing and conquering on bath/pjs and dinner made it work for us.

We did this sometimes, too. Especially in the germy early daycare years, it helps to have everyone clean and in fresh clothes as soon as possible in the evening!

Now DH and I both work an earlier shift so we're all home between 4-5 pm. It makes it a rush with early mornings but we're early birds anyway. We finish dinner by 5:30 so that we have add'l family time before kids' bedtime routine (playing outside or whatever). DH or I prep several dinners while our youngest naps on Sundays. This week's menu was tacos/taco salad, a whole 30 stir fry, turkey ricotta meatballs and pasta/zoodles, banana pancakes, fruit, and chicken sausages (breakfast for dinner), and sheet pan chicken thighs. Fridays we do pizza and Saturdays we have takeout or go out to dinner, eat at a neighbors, etc. We tried to do quick evening meal prep on the fly for a long time and we ended up getting takeout or doing chick fil a drive thru way too much. I always felt like it was hanging over my head. Planning/prepping on Sundays can feel like a chore but I usually put a podcast on and push through bc it makes things so much easier during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you get less than an hour with kids at night.

When I worked, I didn’t cook dinner. I often missed bedtime. My mom or nanny cooked and/or fed kids depending on the year.

The few months we tried to do daycare solo, we ate a lot of prepared meals and take out/delivery.

I now stay home and DH also cut his hours. He grilled tonight. We may get pizza tomorrow.

This is...not helpful at all. OP, your only solution is to quit your job./s

Actually I said that our nanny or mom cooked and we ate a lot of prepared meals and take out/delivery.

[Anonymous]

I go into work super early (spouse gets kids up and dropped off) so I'm home (and have picked up kids) by 5:30. I cook (everything I make takes 30 minutes or less) and we eat at 6.

It's easier now that my youngest is 2.5 and he can play with his big brother while I cook. When I was in your shoes, just back at work with a little baby, I wore the baby in a carrier when cooking (and avoided making anything hot and splattery!)

[Anonymous]

I don't cook much during the week. Husband has more flexible hours, and he cooks big batches a couple nights.

I might make spaghetti or do Taco Tuesday one night, and then order Galley or pick up food the next.

On Fridays, we order pizza for movie night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is leaving early so you have morning duty, he needs to get home in time to prep an easy dinner.

Also, because if he's leaving early and doesn't get home until 6:30, that's a ridiculous schedule for a parent with an infant. He needs to figure his ish out so he can help around the house. He needs to figure out how to work after bedtime so he can get home before 6.

It doesn’t always work like this. DH is a surgeon and he goes to work early and gets home late. I was responsible for all drop offs and pick ups. It was rough when I worked.