Working moms - when do you cook dinner?

[Anonymous]

Just back at work after mat leave with baby #2. When we just had one kid and could divide and conquer getting dinner on the table was not as challenging but now that we have two who need to be put to bed at roughly the same time I just can’t figure out how to make it work. Sometimes I used to prep dinner in the morning but I don’t have time to do that since DH leaves for work pretty early and I am alone with two kids.

DH and I get home from work around 6:30pm and bedtime routine for the baby starts at 7pm, then bedtime for older kid starts at 7:30pm. So best case I can start cooking at 8pm but honestly I am too exhausted and don’t love eating so late.

What do others do?

[Anonymous]

Barely cook during the week. 1 or 2 big batches on the weekend for leftovers. One or two weeknights of pre-prepared food like pasta or frozen pizza. Sandwiches, quesadillas. It's gotten pathetic lately....

[Anonymous]

I make freezer meals on the weekend. Either slow cooker or sheet pan. I also have someone who cooks for me. I give her a menu and she makes the meals on Monday for the week. I have a list of quick meals I can make if needed mostly pasta and salad or warm sandwiches and fruit.

[Anonymous]

That does sound hard and like the last thing I'd want to do at 8 p.m. I work full time but I'm in early and out early, so I don't have a lot of personal experience. However, could you try some instant pot or crock pot meals? Meat in the crockpot, steam veggies or salad in a bag, a baguette, and done? Or you could do something like rotisserie chicken and steamed veggies. Another thought is to prep a quiche, which doesn't take long, and let it bake while putting kids to bed. I'd probably be getting door dash a fair amount, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

The first year after having your second should involve low expectations re: dinner. A lot of nights were: rotisserie chicken and prepackaged salad; doctored up instant ramen; Costco premade meals, etc. Also a lot of Uber eats.

I work from home a lot, so sometimes I do a little prep before picking up the kids. Sometimes we make pizza (premised crust) as a family, which my 3 year old loves. Sometimes we end up just feeding the kids something easy like mac n cheese and then DH and I make a real grown up dinner after they’re asleep (toddler is asleep by 7-ish and 4 y/o goes down at 8).

It really varies each week based on work schedules, whether one of us is going to the gym or has other plans out, etc.

[Anonymous]

*premade crust

[Anonymous]

This kind of post is exactly why men objected when women said they could do it ALL--"just like the men"
But the men never did do it all.
Division of labor in a household meant that there were already two full-time jobs. One for the partner who worked outisde the home and got paid for the work (typically the man), and one for the partner who took care of the household/daily operations of running a family--like shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, chlldcare.
When you try to pretend that it isn't a full time job, you run out of time to do those things.

Not that living in 1950s is the solution. But we can at least have an honest conversation about how it is not just the "working moms" responsibility to do this, right? In order for a NON-1950s arrangement to work at all, the question needs to be "working PARENTS...how do you make dinner happen during the week?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post is exactly why men objected when women said they could do it ALL--"just like the men"
But the men never did do it all.
Division of labor in a household meant that there were already two full-time jobs. One for the partner who worked outisde the home and got paid for the work (typically the man), and one for the partner who took care of the household/daily operations of running a family--like shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, chlldcare.
When you try to pretend that it isn't a full time job, you run out of time to do those things.

Not that living in 1950s is the solution. But we can at least have an honest conversation about how it is not just the "working moms" responsibility to do this, right? In order for a NON-1950s arrangement to work at all, the question needs to be "working PARENTS...how do you make dinner happen during the week?"[/quote]

Thank you. The title grated.

[Anonymous]

Short answer: we don't cook during the week. We reheat.

That's either meals we cooked on the weekend and froze, or prepared meals from grocery stores or takeout.

[Anonymous]

Nanny does meal prep and sometimes throws a soup in Instapot. DH home by 5, 5:30 and does about 10-15 minutes of sautéeing or roasting in a pan. I cook more elaborate meals on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Agreed with pp and that's kind of how dh and I approach it.
He leaves for work crazy early (5am) so that he can be home to pick up dd around 4:30 and then go to park, grocery shop or make dinner. He does the cooking at least one day a week- simple stuff, breakfast for dinner, roasted fish and veg etc. I have later days at work when he's doing pickup and dinner prep and come home at 5:30 other days (short commute). Dinner takes 30 min tops. I make roasted chicken in a variety of sauces (marinate in the am). Quick tiny tiny meatballs- oven for 15 min, roasted fish, zucchini pancakes, steamed or sautéed veg etc. I cook 3 dishes at once and am a whirlwind in the kitchen. Dd either plays by herself nearby or with dh. We have a playroom off the kitchen and she's usually content in there. Sometimes she helps or bangs on pots and pans. On weekends I make batches of lentils and soup in instant pot as well as lasagna and a big batch or roasted chicken or stuffed peppers. Some of that is frozen, the chicken we can eat Monday, Tuesday etc.
Expecting baby #2 and a little scared of how it'll impact our routine, but we will adapt and lower expectations for dinner again for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post is exactly why men objected when women said they could do it ALL--"just like the men"
But the men never did do it all.
Division of labor in a household meant that there were already two full-time jobs. One for the partner who worked outisde the home and got paid for the work (typically the man), and one for the partner who took care of the household/daily operations of running a family--like shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, chlldcare.
When you try to pretend that it isn't a full time job, you run out of time to do those things.

Not that living in 1950s is the solution. But we can at least have an honest conversation about how it is not just the "working moms" responsibility to do this, right? In order for a NON-1950s arrangement to work at all, the question needs to be "working PARENTS...how do you make dinner happen during the week?"

+100000

[Anonymous]

My husband does most of it, ideally largely on the weekend. If we don't have anything made from the weekend, he will put something together quickly -- either basic pasta dish or sometimes even a frozen something. I am usually able to get home for most of dinner, but he covers when need be.

[Anonymous]

I try hard for us all to eat dinner together before the kids go to bed.

We only do really easy things during the week - such as buying hummus, veggies, and pita and making sandwiches, crockpots, freezer meals.

I do split dinner duty with DH.

We usually eat out / take out / order in one night too.

Plan and prep as much as you can over the weekend.

[Anonymous]

I get home with the kids at 5:30. 15 minutes later I have something on the table. Easy things like chicken and rice and broccoli. I have an 8 month old and a 2 year old. It got harder once the baby started eating.

I think the most important part of dinner is eating together as a family. If dh isn't home, I eat with the kids.