My parents won't let me catch up. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

In MD you were born on the cutoff day as it rolled back a month every year between 2003-2006. I remember because my child was also a “window” baby born the day before the cutoff. She has always gone to school with kids varying from just days older to a full year+ older. Nearly all of her age cohorts started school the following year. Sending her to college out of state under 18 actually meant a bunch of legal paperwork and health insurance issues. Now in college the kids in her class come from states all over the country (and out of the country) and ages vary widely. Her roommates in fact are 3 mos younger than her (from a state that had a Dec. cutoff) and nearly 3 years older (was on the upper end of her age range anyway, took a gap year, and then transferred losing some credits) Her best friend though is two months older than her, yet is a year after her in school (parents held her based on a number of reasons) and is at a much more selective college and is more advanced and solid in her academics from that year of maturity. It isn’t half the issue you are making it out to be. Please seek help to manage your anxiety over this. No one cares when your birthday is in college!! They care what your grades are so if you are on the older side, spend more effort proving yourself academically.

[Anonymous]

You are incredibly immature, lonely and awkward. Get some friends, and a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Well it seems to me to be an effort to try and argue a point about red shirting. On the bright side many responses were informative and well-meaning.

An issue with starting kids later in school is that we cannot know how things “would have been” had the kids started younger. The reality is that many kids who do start young do fine in school, socially and outside activities. Many kids who wait do not do well. The problem is that we do not know if a kid who did fine would have done better. And, the problem for the OP is that we do not know if a kid who started later would have done better if they started earlier - although there really is no basis for thinking that an earlier start would be a positive influence. The kid may well have done terribly if they started young.

From my own kids I can say being older with more life experiences on graduation is a big positive on maturity, goal setting and even job interviews. That is a big reason why top grad schools are taking older applicants with some job experiences rather than those coming straight out of school at 21 or 22.

[Anonymous]

Take 18 credits every semester and you will catch up. If you can manage the load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Her best friend though is two months older than her, yet is a year after her in school (parents held her based on a number of reasons) and is at a much more selective college and is more advanced and solid in her academics from that year of maturity.

I'm the OP. I'm glad that redshirting helped your daughter's friend. However, I have learning disabilities, so being an academic superstar, redshirted or not, was never in the cards for me. I wasn't going to be a great student regardless of when I started school. So in my case, holding me back was pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Her best friend though is two months older than her, yet is a year after her in school (parents held her based on a number of reasons) and is at a much more selective college and is more advanced and solid in her academics from that year of maturity.

I'm the OP. I'm glad that redshirting helped your daughter's friend. However, I have learning disabilities, so being an academic superstar, redshirted or not, was never in the cards for me. I wasn't going to be a great student regardless of when I started school. So in my case, holding me back was pointless.

For a high school senior with a learning disability, you write in a very sophisticated, adult style. Do high school seniors even know or care what “redshirting” at kindergarten is?
Hmmmm. Starting to think the earlier post about a bored SAHM might be accurate....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the OP. I'm glad that redshirting helped your daughter's friend. However, I have learning disabilities, so being an academic superstar, redshirted or not, was never in the cards for me. I wasn't going to be a great student regardless of when I started school. So in my case, holding me back was pointless.

Do you honestly think being the very youngest in addition to having learning disabilities would truly have been an asset in a school setting? I would think that would make you a target for social problems as well as potential self esteem issues due to struggling to keep up. Granted your parents had no way of knowing unless your disabilities manifested early, but I’m thinking as a child they saw you as more aligned with younger peers than older ones. You just seem so particularly fixated on the calendar. You will be shocked in college about the range of ages of those around you, both older and younger. But then again, only if you bring it up because it’s not really half the talking point for others that it is for you.

Do you mind if I ask if you are on the autism spectrum? Your style seems strikingly similar to individuals I know with Aspergers.

[Anonymous]

How does everyone not think this is a troll? What high schooler or college student would ever post on this site?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Her best friend though is two months older than her, yet is a year after her in school (parents held her based on a number of reasons) and is at a much more selective college and is more advanced and solid in her academics from that year of maturity.

I'm the OP. I'm glad that redshirting helped your daughter's friend. However, I have learning disabilities, so being an academic superstar, redshirted or not, was never in the cards for me. I wasn't going to be a great student regardless of when I started school. So in my case, holding me back was pointless.

OP,
This whole thread is high school thinking. Frankly, it’s middle school thinking.
In college and as an adult you learn it’s more important what YOU think about yourself than what others think.

If you keep doing things like choosing colleges based on a couple weeks of cutoff date, you’re going to have a very very unhappy life.
Focus on what’s important, don’t sweat the small stuff. And grow up.

[Anonymous]

I call troll on this poster. This is another one of those crazy anti red shirters.

[Anonymous]

OP Is the state college you're going to prestigious? If not, then the age thing really won't be an issue. At private and/or prestigious college, the vast majority of students start right of high school and graduate in 4 years. It's extremely rare for students at those college to be older of younger than the norm, because those schools are highly unlikely to allow high-school students to concurrently take classes at their university, or accept AP credits or community college credits. They're also highly unlikely to accept older students who've taken time off after high school, so very few students would be younger than 21 or older than 22 at the graduation ceremony.

It isn't like that at mediocre state colleges though. They sometimes let high school students take classes there and get an early start on their degree, and are far more generous about AP credits and community college credits taken in high school. So you'll have classmates as much as 3 years younger than you. However, students who didn't go to college right away or are pursuing another degree are also more likely to go to mediocre state college, so you'll have older classmates as well. I'd say that your classmates will be anywhere from 3 years younger than you to 2 years older than you, so you'll "fit in" just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Is the state college you're going to prestigious? If not, then the age thing really won't be an issue. At private and/or prestigious college, the vast majority of students start right of high school and graduate in 4 years. It's extremely rare for students at those college to be older of younger than the norm, because those schools are highly unlikely to allow high-school students to concurrently take classes at their university, or accept AP credits or community college credits. They're also highly unlikely to accept older students who've taken time off after high school, so very few students would be younger than 21 or older than 22 at the graduation ceremony.

It isn't like that at mediocre state colleges though. They sometimes let high school students take classes there and get an early start on their degree, and are far more generous about AP credits and community college credits taken in high school. So you'll have classmates as much as 3 years younger than you. However, students who didn't go to college right away or are pursuing another degree are also more likely to go to mediocre state college, so you'll have older classmates as well. I'd say that your classmates will be anywhere from 3 years younger than you to 2 years older than you, so you'll "fit in" just fine.

How did you manage to find this post from April?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Is the state college you're going to prestigious? If not, then the age thing really won't be an issue. At private and/or prestigious college, the vast majority of students start right of high school and graduate in 4 years. It's extremely rare for students at those college to be older of younger than the norm, because those schools are highly unlikely to allow high-school students to concurrently take classes at their university, or accept AP credits or community college credits. They're also highly unlikely to accept older students who've taken time off after high school, so very few students would be younger than 21 or older than 22 at the graduation ceremony.

It isn't like that at mediocre state colleges though. They sometimes let high school students take classes there and get an early start on their degree, and are far more generous about AP credits and community college credits taken in high school. So you'll have classmates as much as 3 years younger than you. However, students who didn't go to college right away or are pursuing another degree are also more likely to go to mediocre state college, so you'll have older classmates as well. I'd say that your classmates will be anywhere from 3 years younger than you to 2 years older than you, so you'll "fit in" just fine.

How did you manage to find this post from April?

And it's not true. Gap year and/or deferred admission while the student does some incredible thing is common enough at elite institutions. These are not cookie cutter kids. pp is likely the op who is likely an anti-red shirting crusader.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound ridiculous. I didn't start college until I was 22 for financial reasons. I paid my way through and didn't graduate until I was 27. Guess what? I don't feel behind at all. In my mid-30s, I make more money than a lot of my friends who graduated at 21 or 22. The degrees that are easy to graduate early with are also the least marketable. Do you really think that you'd be more employable getting a literature degree at 21 than you would be getting a computer science degree at 22? Just try to look into the future a little. If, in 10 years from now, you're working at Starbucks, will sacrificing a worthwhile career just could graduate college "on time" have been worth-it? But if, in 10 years from now, you're working a 6-figure salary and living in a nice house, are you still going to feel bad that you were always a year behind in school? Don't lose sight of the bigger picture over minor details like this. The company I work at doesn't care that I graduated from college 6 years late, but they do care what I have to offer them.

[Anonymous]

OP has posted multiple times about this very subject, and may be trying to revive her own thread.

Everyone please ignore.