First date!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the lazy ass, noncommittal meetups for drinks or coffee? I can’t believe how many women are discouraging men from actually planning first dates.

Why would I throw $100 at a stranger I’m probably never going to meet again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the lazy ass, noncommittal meetups for drinks or coffee? I can’t believe how many women are discouraging men from actually planning first dates.

It's a sad commentary on our society.

[Anonymous]

Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers. If I had to choose from those, bowling or a cooking class would be my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the lazy ass, noncommittal meetups for drinks or coffee? I can’t believe how many women are discouraging men from actually planning first dates.

because we end up emptying our wallets on people like you that are clearly not worth it on a first date or ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone tried riding around on the Metro? Have a friend who swears by this. Lots of time to chat, get to know each other, people watch, etc. And oh-so cheap! Thoughts?

My 3 year d enjoys this.

I can’t imagine asking an adult to come ride the metro with me on a date...

Why not? There's a new group called Metro Hetros, which besides being a misspelling feels really exclusionary, but the intent is good. Just getting people, dating couples, in a group to go on Metro rides together. OK, it may not be La Diplomate or whatever, but the fun is real, the date cheap, and love's in the glove. LOL

group sounds like a bunch of losers. it's disgusting, mostly underground, dark, uncomfortable with a criminal element, noisy and no food or drink allowed, not to mention smells of piss and vomit and is otherwise dirty, run down and poorly operated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the lazy ass, noncommittal meetups for drinks or coffee? I can’t believe how many women are discouraging men from actually planning first dates.

You must not have dated recently. This is 2019. First dates like you see on the movies and TV do not exist anymore. This is the age where people are cycling through dozens of people each year on first dates. Many people go on multiple per week. It used to be that there was a high chance that a first date would lead to a second and possibly more after that. Today, very few first dates lead to a second. It's a depressing shit show where no one actually gets with anymore long-term.

Because of this, the traditional first date things like a dinner, movie, or other activity where people get all gussied up on a Friday or Saturday night is OVER. It's not about men just not wanting to romance the girl. Many of us would if we knew the girl was even receptive to that. But in today's world, anything remotely like that is perceived as trying too hard, out of desperation, etc.

Thus, people meet for a drink or a coffee with the high expectation that they'll never see each other again.

Man, as I'm typing this I realize how depressing things have become just in the last 10 years.

[Anonymous]

NOT karaoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers.

Same here. That's why the Metro riding date option is appealing. If it's not going well, you can just get off at any stop and if it is you can stay on and ride to the end of the line and then if you both want ride back, or switch lines. It's really up to you and possibly your date. If not, you're off the train at the next stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers.

Same here. That's why the Metro riding date option is appealing. If it's not going well, you can just get off at any stop and if it is you can stay on and ride to the end of the line and then if you both want ride back, or switch lines. It's really up to you and possibly your date. If not, you're off the train at the next stop.

Stop trying to make fetch happen.

[Anonymous]

Woman with dating app experience here. For a first meeting, I still appreciate it if a man offers to take me out for a meal, whether it be dinner, brunch, or lunch. It's more enjoyable, leads to better convos, and is an indicator that the guy may not be cheap. And also that he may not be going on tons of first dates every week that he doesn't want to pay for.

Coffee or art museum is also fine though. I don't like drinks because I don't like drinking without food but that's just me. The others are better as second or third dates (or later).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman with dating app experience here. For a first meeting, I still appreciate it if a man offers to take me out for a meal, whether it be dinner, brunch, or lunch. It's more enjoyable, leads to better convos, and is an indicator that the guy may not be cheap. And also that he may not be going on tons of first dates every week that he doesn't want to pay for.

Coffee or art museum is also fine though. I don't like drinks because I don't like drinking without food but that's just me. The others are better as second or third dates (or later).

But of course it is OK for you to go on multiple dates each week, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the lazy ass, noncommittal meetups for drinks or coffee? I can’t believe how many women are discouraging men from actually planning first dates.

It's a sad commentary on our society.

Not really. More like, in previous years you might have "known" someone a little before a first date - you'd have friends in common, or would have met through a shared activity - now many first dates are between people who have only interacted online. This means that first dates are really screening dates for both sides. I guess if you're super into elaborate first dates, then that is a good screening mechanism for the planner - if someone isn't into riding around on Metro for a couple of hours while drinking juice box wine, that's a good indication that you're not a good fit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers.

Same here. That's why the Metro riding date option is appealing. If it's not going well, you can just get off at any stop and if it is you can stay on and ride to the end of the line and then if you both want ride back, or switch lines. It's really up to you and possibly your date. If not, you're off the train at the next stop.

Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I just keep imagining having to pee and having nowhere to go

That's probably my issue as much as anything

Look - I remember being in my 20s, in the 90s, and thinking stuff like that was fun. I think that kind of thing CAN be fun, actually. But it seems hard to plan for that with someone you don't actually know. If you're on a date with someone and neither of you wants it to end, and you feel like just roaming around - then it might be a good time. But it's hard to imagine a guy texting you and saying, "So we're on for Sat night? Let's get on the Metro and just ride around for two hours."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers.

Same here. That's why the Metro riding date option is appealing. If it's not going well, you can just get off at any stop and if it is you can stay on and ride to the end of the line and then if you both want ride back, or switch lines. It's really up to you and possibly your date. If not, you're off the train at the next stop.

Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I just keep imagining having to pee and having nowhere to go

That's probably my issue as much as anything

Look - I remember being in my 20s, in the 90s, and thinking stuff like that was fun. I think that kind of thing CAN be fun, actually. But it seems hard to plan for that with someone you don't actually know. If you're on a date with someone and neither of you wants it to end, and you feel like just roaming around - then it might be a good time. But it's hard to imagine a guy texting you and saying, "So we're on for Sat night? Let's get on the Metro and just ride around for two hours."

Sightseeing busses would be so much more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female, 39. Preferably none of the above. I prefer a drink if it’s someone I don’t know well going into it, or dinner if I do. I don’t like the whole trend toward “activity” dates with near-strangers.

Same here. That's why the Metro riding date option is appealing. If it's not going well, you can just get off at any stop and if it is you can stay on and ride to the end of the line and then if you both want ride back, or switch lines. It's really up to you and possibly your date. If not, you're off the train at the next stop.

Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I just keep imagining having to pee and having nowhere to go

That's probably my issue as much as anything

Look - I remember being in my 20s, in the 90s, and thinking stuff like that was fun. I think that kind of thing CAN be fun, actually. But it seems hard to plan for that with someone you don't actually know. If you're on a date with someone and neither of you wants it to end, and you feel like just roaming around - then it might be a good time. But it's hard to imagine a guy texting you and saying, "So we're on for Sat night? Let's get on the Metro and just ride around for two hours."

Sightseeing busses would be so much more fun.

Not for a first date, though! Second or third, yes.