Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only agree IF I knew the parents very well and knew they would be heavily supervising. Otherwise NO!

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has done many of these. The kids don't even change their clothes to sleep. You guys hyper-sexualize everything.

You don't remember being 13, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.

There was only 1 kid whose parents I didn’t tell. Her parents are hyper-religious, and they wouldn’t have let her attend if they knew there were gays in the mix. I don’t think it’s right to out kids to adults. I suppose I could have just said “Larlo is staying over tonight, too.” It seems like it would cause unnecessary unease and drama. Even if they were attracted to each other, I don’t think they would get too far in a room full of teens. My apartment is small, and they all sleep in the small living room.

Are you San Francisco poster?

That is not your decision to make for someone else's child.

I don’t know anything about San Francisco poster.

I didn’t decide that their child is a lesbian. They decided to make that an unapproachable subject with their teen. I’m not getting into the middle of all that.

I am talking about the coed sleepover, not the lesbian thing.

Whether or not the kids are gay is irrelevant to the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.

We say yes all the time. Kids love the lock ins. Most don't sleep.

My son does typically about 3 a.m.

I often chaperone. The kids are never alone.
On my last one at about 6 am the boys and girls were sitting on the huge sectional, most quietly talking, some dozing. There were 3 adults in the room, awake and watching them.

A lock in is not a sleepover

Thank you. That’s exactly what my teen and his friends said. No one sleeps
In the church lock in. And they make breakfast at 7....

[Anonymous]

My daughter does this often with her friends. She is currently 16. She has known these kids forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.

There was only 1 kid whose parents I didn’t tell. Her parents are hyper-religious, and they wouldn’t have let her attend if they knew there were gays in the mix. I don’t think it’s right to out kids to adults. I suppose I could have just said “Larlo is staying over tonight, too.” It seems like it would cause unnecessary unease and drama. Even if they were attracted to each other, I don’t think they would get too far in a room full of teens. My apartment is small, and they all sleep in the small living room.

Are you San Francisco poster?

That is not your decision to make for someone else's child.

I don’t know anything about San Francisco poster.

I didn’t decide that their child is a lesbian. They decided to make that an unapproachable subject with their teen. I’m not getting into the middle of all that.

I am talking about the coed sleepover, not the lesbian thing.

Whether or not the kids are gay is irrelevant to the discussion.

If you’re worried about sexual activity between boys and girls, it is relevant.

[Anonymous]

Hell no!

[Anonymous]

Flat no. My kids have mixed gender friend groups. I know most of the kids and they are terrific. They are also teens and are brimming with hormones, curiosity and poor impulse control. Even if by daylight they are just friends, there is no doubt in my mind, having been a teen once upon a time, that in the middle of the night with less sleep and less judgment and more peer pressure that it is more likely that experimentation will happen. As a prior poster said, I do realize it can happen in the daylight, too, but no way am I hosting (or letting my kids attend) to make it easier or more likely to happen.

[Anonymous]

For the hard no posters, what do you do about overnights at the houses of b/g twins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the hard no posters, what do you do about overnights at the houses of b/g twins?

I think you are purposely throwing out a red herring or else you are overthinking this. There is a big difference between a brother being in the house during his sister’s sleepover and a mixed group of boys and girls sleeping in the same room.

[Anonymous]

my 13 has a small group of friends he's had for years, both boys and girls. if it was a small group of these kids i wouldn't worry. not sure what i would think about a big gathering with kids i didn't know....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the hard no posters, what do you do about overnights at the houses of b/g twins?

I think you are purposely throwing out a red herring or else you are overthinking this. There is a big difference between a brother being in the house during his sister’s sleepover and a mixed group of boys and girls sleeping in the same room.

Some have mixed birthday sleepovers. My daughter has been a couple of times.

[Anonymous]

Not on my watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ick, no. Op, the fact that you choose to ask makes me wonder about your judgement.

Huh? The questionable judgement is on the part of the host parents.

-- NP

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kids. My DD is friends w/ a boy who sleeps over from time to time. Both sets of parents know each others' kids very well. Both kids not interested in romantic. Boy is also usually included in sleepover birthday party w/ all girls. These kids are just turning 13, so things might change soon on this, but for now, we are OK w/ this kid sleeping over. Not sure how I'd feel if I didn't know kids/parents involved. But, knowing my kid (fully understands sex ed, and is not interested in anything related), I'd probably be ok w/ it.