How to make it register how much you provide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are reasonably well off, and your kid has basically always been given pretty much whatever she wanted and needed, and is used to a relatively high standard of living, it's harder for her to understand, because it's just her normal baseline. I agree that you need to think about what you want her to "get"--do you want gratitude? Do you want an appreciation of the work necessary to provide those things? Do you want her to understand budgets?

The standard of living really is the hardest part for some kids who aren't trust-fun well off, and don't have strong math and money skills. When you are used to a certain kind of house and car, but your parents can't or won't buy you one of your own, and your actual salary doesn't come close to affording that, and no one every explained the peril v. need of credit before, some kids go into serious debt very quickly due to the little things ... eating out, coffee, high end grocery stores, clothing labels they can't afford, huge bar bills, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For college kids? Just spent $800 on new tires for her car, college fully funded, etc. and sometimes I don’t think she gets it.

Stop paying for everything. She needs new tires, she needs to work to earn the money to buy tires. Having a car in college in a luxury, not a necessity. As for the tuition ... I agree with the posters who suggest you just wait until she has her own children.

[Anonymous]

If she's college age, I think it's pretty much a lost cause until she starts working and supporting herself.

This kind of thing needs to be started when they are young.

[Anonymous]

We have always emphasized that even if we can afford something, it's not always a good value. I hesitate at our kids' young age to go into specifics about our HHI because it is admittedly absurdly high (7-figures annually), but I think that this lesson seems to be sinking in to our older DS (age 11), who seems to have a good sense of value and likes saving money. DS, who is 5, doesn't quite get it yet, but we plan on having the same attitude with regard to money towards him.

Also, we try to practice what we preach to some extent. We don't have luxury cars, but we do have two very good, practical, and safe cars (minivan and Prius) that serve our family's needs perfectly. We have a nice house in a close-in neighborhood, but nothing that stands out from the other SFHs in AU Park/Tenleytown. We cook a lot at home, largely for convenience and health reasons, and while we shop at WholeFoods, we also look for sales. We shop at Costco because it makes sense financially and because we have storage space for bulk purchases.

When it comes time to talk about colleges (which are paid for), we will have a frank discussion about what that sum of money can do.