How to make it register how much you provide

[Anonymous]

I just occasionally mention I could have a new swimming pool every year if we didn’t pay for her college. Instead, our pool just looks forlorn waiting to be refurbished after she graduates. She may not understand how much we provide, but I’m pretty sure she knows an entire pool is a lot of money, lay alone four of them.

[Anonymous]

When they are young, it's all about not giving them EVERYTHING on their Christmas list or giving into every whim when you are at a store. As teenagers, they need a job to cover their entertainment. I also had each of my teen boys ( probably Junior year summer) open all the bills and write the checks. This showed them the money trail within our household.

[Anonymous]

My kids had jobs. You make them spend their own money.

[Anonymous]

Working for it. My parents always covered the big things like expensive car repairs, but I had to pay for gas. I wanted a computer (it was the 90’s so we didn’t need one to do school work yet) so I had to save up for it—it took months. Other things like I had to pay for half of my prom dress. Like others mentioned paying for entertainment like movie tickets or the school dance fee. When I was at college of my meal plan ran out, that was it. I only got one deposit per month in my debit account. There was no unlimited anything. I have a feeling that if she doesn’t appreciate it, it’s because she hasn’t had to make any of these contributions herself.

[Anonymous]

It may be too late for this OP but why isn't your child helping to pay for college. Even if I could fully fund college for my kid, I wouldn't do it. Your child needs to help pay either by working or taking out a loan or both. She needs to save up to pay for part of her new tires. That usually is an expense you can see coming ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may be too late for this OP but why isn't your child helping to pay for college. Even if I could fully fund college for my kid, I wouldn't do it. Your child needs to help pay either by working or taking out a loan or both. She needs to save up to pay for part of her new tires. That usually is an expense you can see coming ahead of time.

I think just talking about it is enough - being open and honest about costs. A lot of it is seeing how your parents manage money.

I paid for some of my college and it limited my options significantly because i always was conscious of the bottom line. Meanwhile my cousins with trust funds who werent worried about money did what they had planned to do, made the most of their options and are frugal as adults.

[Anonymous]

They have to earn their spending money and incidentals, like gas. If they don’t have it, they can’t go out, get pizza, get a haircut, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they are young, it's all about not giving them EVERYTHING on their Christmas list or giving into every whim when you are at a store. As teenagers, they need a job to cover their entertainment. I also had each of my teen boys ( probably Junior year summer) open all the bills and write the checks. This showed them the money trail within our household.

Who pays bills by checks anymore? I guess our kids can help with online bill pay instead?

[Anonymous]

My parents sent 6 kids to college with varying results. They say make your kid get a loan. You can always help them pay the loan - if they EARN it by getting good grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they are young, it's all about not giving them EVERYTHING on their Christmas list or giving into every whim when you are at a store. As teenagers, they need a job to cover their entertainment. I also had each of my teen boys ( probably Junior year summer) open all the bills and write the checks. This showed them the money trail within our household.

Who pays bills by checks anymore? I guess our kids can help with online bill pay instead?

I pay by check. 38 YO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For college kids? Just spent $800 on new tires for her car, college fully funded, etc. and sometimes I don’t think she gets it.

Have she ever had a job? My kids babysit, tutored from middle school, the restaurant jobs. By the HS, they perfectly understood the cost of everything. We had fully funded state college for each child. When the older was accepted to few Ivy League colleges and got a full scholarship from the top state school, she chose to go to the state school with the scholarship and to save money for grad school. She also had my old Mercedes during HS which she refused to keep for college since the expenses was on her. She opted out for the bike.

I am very proud that she is capable to understand these things early in her life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they are young, it's all about not giving them EVERYTHING on their Christmas list or giving into every whim when you are at a store. As teenagers, they need a job to cover their entertainment. I also had each of my teen boys ( probably Junior year summer) open all the bills and write the checks. This showed them the money trail within our household.

Who pays bills by checks anymore? I guess our kids can help with online bill pay instead?

I pay by check. 38 YO.

Wow! Even my mom does it online and she is 75.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't until law school that I really got how much my parents sacrificed for me. It's a maturity thing. I always appreciated it, but it wasn't until I was in my 20s that I really got it at a gut level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ever since they were little I explained our budget to them. I don't really understand people who think children are too young. They know how much things cost and how much we can afford.

Same. I don’t discuss details yet, but fully intend to show them the expense side of our monthly budget when they hit high school. They should know that cell service is x, cable is y, etc. and they will chip in for their ‘wants’ when they are old enough to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For college kids? Just spent $800 on new tires for her car, college fully funded, etc. and sometimes I don’t think she gets it.

OP, Ignore some of these critical PPs.
Make her earn her spending money, including car maintenance. You can still help her out with bigger expenses such as the tires and insurance. I was very lucky and my parents paid for my private college. I was always a very appreciative child, but it never REALLY sunk in how hard it is to earn and save money until I started working while in college.