DH didn’t get me anything - feeling hurt

[Anonymous]

Did you date, marry and have children all in the past year? What has he done in the past?

[Anonymous]

Mine neither. I got myself and him the gifts, he wrapped them with all the kids gifts and we put them under the tree. I am super happy with my Santa gift. Honestly, It was great to get exactly what I wanted.

[Anonymous]

I'd let him know your feelings are hurt and make it clear that going forward you would like him to think about doing something for you on the holidays. Let him know you won't hold a grudge, that you will let it go as he mustn't have been thinking clearly. Until then, let him know that his gift for you is a massage or something that you'd enjoy and go do something nice for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand you people who say this is ok. I’ve been married to my spouse for years, and it’s inconceivable that we wouldn’t get each other gifts, and without being told. No, this is not normal behavior in a normal marriage, unless it is expressly agreed to in advance. You have a right to be hurt and angry, OP.

I totally agree. Unfathomable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand you people who say this is ok. I’ve been married to my spouse for years, and it’s inconceivable that we wouldn’t get each other gifts, and without being told. No, this is not normal behavior in a normal marriage, unless it is expressly agreed to in advance. You have a right to be hurt and angry, OP.

Your marriage is not the standard for normal.

You are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand you people who say this is ok. I’ve been married to my spouse for years, and it’s inconceivable that we wouldn’t get each other gifts, and without being told. No, this is not normal behavior in a normal marriage, unless it is expressly agreed to in advance. You have a right to be hurt and angry, OP.

Your marriage is not the standard for normal.

It’s not normal to have it be standard that you and your spouse exchange gifts on Christmas??

DP here. DH and I don't exchange gifts. We are extremely generous to our kids, family members, kids teachers, our cleaning lady, garbage collector...but we do not exchange gifts. Why? Because it is a pain and a chore for us and we give each other a break. OTOH - both of us buy what ever we want to on Amazon Prime whenever we want. So there is not much we wait for through the year to leave until Christmas to buy.

[Anonymous]

My husband will buy me a gift on my birthday. Why should he buy me a gift on Jesus's birthday?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he’s just not that into you. That would be sad if you were dating but in your reality it’s more than sad. Could be a long marriage.

[Anonymous]

Op, my husband is the same. I put up stockings for the two of us this year with the kids stockings and told him our new tradition was to do stockings for each other. It forced him to own it—literally has our names printed on it. The kids were so excited to see what we got each other. He took care of everything yesterday, but he did it. Try this next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should have told him you wanted something for Xmas.

Uh, is he an idiot? Why should he need to be told this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband will buy me a gift on my birthday. Why should he buy me a gift on Jesus's birthday?

This is literally true for everyone but Jesus. Why buy anyone a gift on Christmas? Because it’s convention and you do it for friends and family. If you want to agree with your husband not to do it, that’s a joint decision, but absent that, it’s weird not to exchange gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should have told him you wanted something for Xmas.

Because, you know, this is his first Christmas and he is unfamiliar with the customs.

OP, my husband is the same way..After 20 years and MANY conversations. He is on the spectrum and possibly the least attentive (and most rigid) husband in the universe.

Now I just buy my own presents and stuff my own stocking as well as everyone else's.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are not naturally gift givers but as our kids are getting older (elementary age) we make sure there are presents for each of us under the tree even when we are picking out the presents for ourselves that the other will give. It's important to me that kids see that all members of the family matter. Also, my kids are getting much more into the joy of giving. I'm sorry about your Christmas morning, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s just not that into you. That would be sad if you were dating but in your reality it’s more than sad. Could be a long marriage.

This.

I know of a few couples where the husband didn’t buy even one gift. It’s obvious in all of these marriages that the husband isn’t that into his wife. One I suspect cheating.

Not buying your spouse a present (unless agreed to ahead of time) is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I got nothing and that’s ok by me!