teacher gave my ds gift to her to someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still totally rude! Insensitive and downright crass. I am not sure if I would let her know as she seems like a teacher who would take retribution out on your child.

What has OP said that would draw that conclusion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had kids give me cookies and stuff last week. I asked them, "Do you mind if I share? I want one now but don't want to eat in front of all of you!" Obviously the real reason is I cannot possibly consume all those cookies. The kids were always cool with it and I hyped them up as I went around handing them to students; "Thank Tyler for the cookies!" teacher probably should have done something like that. Sorry your kid is bummed.

I like this approach!!

+1 This sounds like a great way to handle it!

[Anonymous]

I find myself in this situation routinely, because I keep strict kosher and probably 98% of the food gifts I get, I can't eat. Or it's a gift card to somewhere like Panera that I won't go to. But it's totally inappropriate for me to advertise or explain any religious stuff to students, so they don't know. I take the gift, write a thank you note, and then quietly redistribute it to colleagues or friends when the kids aren't there. I would never want to do anything to make a student (or anyone else!) feel bad about something they'd given me. What a socially bizarre teacher. So sorry your child was hurt, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many people these days are health conscious and don't appreciate gifted candy. I know I wouldn't eat it, though I certainly would never hurt and embarrass a child by giving it away in front of them. If I were to pass it on, it would be in a different class. Not an especially thoughtful gift imo, but no need to be rude about it especially when MS/HS gifts are not ubiquitous.

Have you lost your mind?
It's a gift... that in of itself is thoughtful.

#FirstWorldProblems

[Anonymous]

WOW! What a horrible thing to do!

How old is DS? As a few posters asked, I also wonder if there could have been a misunderstanding-she grabbed the wrong bag, the prize bag was similar to the one he gave her, she used the bag but took out the candy, or he otherwise confused the situation in some way.

Depending on the age, I might email letting her know that DS was upset and you were wondering if there was a misunderstanding that you can explain to him. She needs to be called on her BS-nicely to not interfere with their relationship.

PS-No more gifts for her. Ever.

[Anonymous]

This song the tween/teen forum your kid is at least 10 you and you kid need to suck it up and get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the teacher misplaced her bag of prizes and panicked.

Or her gift bags looked a lot like the gift she received and she didn’t notice in the moment. I would explain it that way to my child. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

This is exactly how I would discuss this with my child, that or she grabbed the wrong bag. It's possible. Give the (probably rude) teacher the benefit of the doubt to spare your tween/teen's feelings, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people are health conscious these days and sugary gifts aren’t so welcome. Yes teacher was rude but at least your gift was used by someone else. It wasn’t the right gift for the teacher obviously but you had no way to know that.

Agree. It was rude for the teacher to do it in front of the child, but doesn’t everyone know that very few adults want sugary presents? Most people are trying to not overindulge. The teacher probably wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW! What a horrible thing to do!

How old is DS? As a few posters asked, I also wonder if there could have been a misunderstanding-she grabbed the wrong bag, the prize bag was similar to the one he gave her, she used the bag but took out the candy, or he otherwise confused the situation in some way.

Depending on the age, I might email letting her know that DS was upset and you were wondering if there was a misunderstanding that you can explain to him. She needs to be called on her BS-nicely to not interfere with their relationship.

PS-No more gifts for her. Ever.

Omg no. This was middle school. Do not email the teacher about how she handled the gift. Are you insane? Do you want the kid to be on the teachers crap list for the rest of the year?

[Anonymous]

The teacher was rude. She's probably trying to watch what she eats and didn't want the sweets around, so she got rid of them as fast as she could. I do this, people send me chocolates etc. to my office and I immediately get rid of them by putting out for other staff. Of course, the givers are not there to see it.

Teacher was wrong to hurt your child's feelings. Maybe don't give sweets henceforward? A gift card to Giant where the teacher can choose sweets - or wine! - might be better.

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher who loves sweets. And the kids know it. Because they’re so sweet guess what 90% of them decided to get Miss Sweet Tooth this year? YOU GUESSED IT! I have enough chocolates to take me through the end of the year. I kept and froze some (I DO adore sweets after all) and gave lots to family and colleagues. I appreciate that they (all) wanted to make me happy but sweets from 30+ kids is A LOT. My point is that even the most candy crazed teacher has her limits. I think those students have done the impossible-cured me of my sugar obsession.

[Anonymous]

Agree with your son that his teacher doesn't have manners and praise him for knowing better.
Acknowledging his feelings should make him feel better.

[Anonymous]

I use this kind of thing as a teachable moment. It was thoughtless of the teacher and maybe accidental, but this is why we are careful about regifting and don't regift that sweater grandma gave you right in front of her.

[Anonymous]

For the parents who complained about how many gifts they "have to give"...you are deluding yourself. You absolutely don't have to give any gifts to your kid's teachers, let alone all their teachers and other staff. Seriously, you are in the minority. And you are complaining about something no one is making you do.

Stop being so driven by what YOU THINK others think you need to do. Get some agency....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people are health conscious these days and sugary gifts aren’t so welcome. Yes teacher was rude but at least your gift was used by someone else. It wasn’t the right gift for the teacher obviously but you had no way to know that.

+1 Most Americans are obese and not everyone wants sugary junk food. Just give a gift card if you don't know the person's preferences or expect that it will be regifted.