How to respond?: Six year old told me that she wished I was dead

[Anonymous]

And you said, "Okay, that's nice... Damien."

[Anonymous]

Ok DD, if you wish I were dead, then you can find your own ride to _____ this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be stunned to hear that. I have preteen boys, so I’ve never raised a girl. But I’m surprised so many posters say this is normal.

Normal for boys and girls, if you have a child who is willing to argue/fight for their wants. More docile kids give in, and it’s easier, but they’re more likely to follow the crowd as teens.

Nice try, but my child is hardly docile. She will argue for hours for things she wants and try my limits. Saying to someone you wish they were dead isn't any form of argument. It's just plain mean and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok DD, if you wish I were dead, then you can find your own ride to _____ this weekend.

A six year old is acting like a six year old. You are the adult and if you responded this way than you are acting more like a six year old!

[Anonymous]

I'm fascinated that so many people think saying "I wish you were dead" is normal. Yet in a recent thread, another poster and her child were harshly criticized because the child told her grandma, "the flower decorations on your cake don't look good." So many people were saying how their child would never say something that rude and how the parent failed the child by not teaching her manners. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to wear sun glasses to school, and I told her no.

She said I am the meanest mother in the world, and she wishes I was dead. she told me liked her daddy better, and it would be better when he is the only one around.

I am not really bothered by this death wish(my older siblings said same to my mom when they were around this age), but I did not know how to respond. I just stayed queit. Should I have said something?

"You're entitled to your feelings, but please don't say things like that to me. You're still not wearing sunglasses to school."

Just wait until your DD is a tween/teen. There is a good chance she will say the most hateful things, then collapse in a hormonal sobbing heap five minutes later, begging you to understand that "she didn't mean it, it's just that all of her other friends have snapchat and why do you have to be so weird?"

Or supposedly can date at 12.
Or can stay out til midnight on a school night at 14.

Or any number of equally ridiculous things, and weird is getting off lightly!

I hardly think you can equate wearing sunglasses at six will lead to dating at 12 or staying out until midnight at age 14. Sunglasses are not the gateway to bad behavior and delinquency, pp!

[Anonymous]

Last year a child told my second grader that he hoped she died and they would all have a parade to celebrate that she was gone. She was devastated.

Now I know why kids feel comfortable saying those things to their peers-- apparently they are not getting corrected at home. I am shocked by the responses that say "ignore it." That is not something you ignore. It is rude and unkind. You don't "win" by showing the kid that they didn't get a rise out of you. Actually you have lost, because you have missed the opportunity to teach your child that words matter, and that being intentionally hurtful is not something that is accepted in your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year a child told my second grader that he hoped she died and they would all have a parade to celebrate that she was gone. She was devastated.

Now I know why kids feel comfortable saying those things to their peers-- apparently they are not getting corrected at home. I am shocked by the responses that say "ignore it." That is not something you ignore. It is rude and unkind. You don't "win" by showing the kid that they didn't get a rise out of you. Actually you have lost, because you have missed the opportunity to teach your child that words matter, and that being intentionally hurtful is not something that is accepted in your family.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Just saying something like this once, or on occasion when they are mad is relatively normal behaviour. Once it happens the first time be honest with your child! "Larla that hurts my feelings, you really wish you'd never see me again?" Most kids at this age do not have a great concept of what it means to die. They are just mad and saying something they know will hurt your feelings. Teachable moment people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be stunned to hear that. I have preteen boys, so I’ve never raised a girl. But I’m surprised so many posters say this is normal.

+1