How to respond?: Six year old told me that she wished I was dead

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about how she’d feel if it were the last thing she ever said to me. Things happen. Granted, I’m very unlikely to die on any given day, but what if I did? It’s the sort of thing a kid might never get over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be stunned to hear that. I have preteen boys, so I’ve never raised a girl. But I’m surprised so many posters say this is normal.

I feel exactly the same way and I have a preteen girl. My instinct would be to come down harder than what most PP's have suggested, e.g. there would be a firm talk and loss of a privilege.

NP here and I agree with you both and I have a teenage girl. What she said was cruel. I wouldn't just ignore it or blow it off as some posters have suggested. And no, kids don't all talk like that.

[Anonymous]

This is kind of besides the point but why didn’t you let her wear sunglasses to school? I wouldn’t give in after she whined, begged, insulted me, etc but It seens like a strange “battle” to choose/reason to put your foot down in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bright "Well, sorry, but you're out of luck!" And then later, when she's not raging, a calm brief chat about better ways to express her anger

(Why didn't you want her to wear her sunglasses?)

OK Nosy Nelly, that has nothing to do with anything.

[Anonymous]

Maybe mom respected the teacher enough to not make her have to start her morning enforcing a dress code to tell the little snowflake that she can't wear sunglasses in class. Seriously at least two of you would let your kid wear sunglasses into school to avoid an argument? Parent up!

[Anonymous]

I would say that growing up without a mother is one of the most devastating things that can happen to you, it effects your whole life and I hope that never happens to you. I love you dearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop letting her watch Disney movies.

OP here.

Interesting you assume that. My daughter has never watched a Disney movie. We tried to watch Finding Nemo(or maybe it was finding dory) and she decided it was too scary. We are not really into TV, but when she watches once in a while, she likes stuff like Blaze and the monster machines.

I am actually proud that she said that to me. She is the "perfect child": smart, kind, curious, hardworking and obedient. I worry that she might not know how to stand up for herself, and this incident showed me that I am probably wrong.

I just wanted to make sure that there was an emotionally appropriate response to this kind of thing. I grew up in a third world country, and my parents just ignored when my siblings made this statement at that age. I wasn't sure if things are different now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of besides the point but why didn’t you let her wear sunglasses to school? I wouldn’t give in after she whined, begged, insulted me, etc but It seens like a strange “battle” to choose/reason to put your foot down in the first place.

OP here.

There was no battle really. She made a last minute decision to wear sunglasses when we were already at the front door. I said no, and she went ballistic on me. What do I know? Where I come from, you don't wear sunglasses to class. It's distracting.

I think she was tired of listening all the time(I grew up in a large family, and we are still trying to figure out how a child can be this "good") and decided this was her hill. I never saw it coming. If I did, I might have let her teacher decide if the sunglasses were an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bright "Well, sorry, but you're out of luck!" And then later, when she's not raging, a calm brief chat about better ways to express her anger

(Why didn't you want her to wear her sunglasses?)

OK Nosy Nelly, that has nothing to do with anything.[/quote]

DP When you post something on a public forum you are inviting all the nosy nellies to be nosy and ask questions. This is how it works. I agree with the pp fighting over sunglasses seems silly. What is the harm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to wear sun glasses to school, and I told her no.

She said I am the meanest mother in the world, and she wishes I was dead. she told me liked her daddy better, and it would be better when he is the only one around.

I am not really bothered by this death wish(my older siblings said same to my mom when they were around this age), but I did not know how to respond. I just stayed queit. Should I have said something?

She's a little drama queen looking for your hot buttons. Ignore her efforts.

[Anonymous]

This can’t be normal. I can’t imagine either of my kid (now 10 and 11) ever saying something like this, at least not until they hit puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to wear sun glasses to school, and I told her no.

She said I am the meanest mother in the world, and she wishes I was dead. she told me liked her daddy better, and it would be better when he is the only one around.

I am not really bothered by this death wish(my older siblings said same to my mom when they were around this age), but I did not know how to respond. I just stayed queit. Should I have said something?

"You're entitled to your feelings, but please don't say things like that to me. You're still not wearing sunglasses to school."

Just wait until your DD is a tween/teen. There is a good chance she will say the most hateful things, then collapse in a hormonal sobbing heap five minutes later, begging you to understand that "she didn't mean it, it's just that all of her other friends have snapchat and why do you have to be so weird?"

Or supposedly can date at 12.
Or can stay out til midnight on a school night at 14.

Or any number of equally ridiculous things, and weird is getting off lightly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be stunned to hear that. I have preteen boys, so I’ve never raised a girl. But I’m surprised so many posters say this is normal.

Normal for boys and girls, if you have a child who is willing to argue/fight for their wants. More docile kids give in, and it’s easier, but they’re more likely to follow the crowd as teens.

[Anonymous]

I would never in a million years have said that to my mom or dad, and they weren't particularly strict.

I'm pretty shocked so many posters here think it's run of the mill behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never in a million years have said that to my mom or dad, and they weren't particularly strict.

I'm pretty shocked so many posters here think it's run of the mill behavior.

My one kid would never, ever say anything like that. My other kid does say stuff like that. I don't take him seriously. Do you think I should?