Notes from the Field: Dating Edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 6'1" and 170, so not fat at all. I don't own an Xbox, nor am I surprised you need to resort to online dating even as a female.

Even the ones that don't need to resort to online dating revel in the deluge of incessant free attention it provides.

Men are idiots and women are evil.

[Anonymous]

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

It is simply not the same. In the dating world fat, unattractive woman is trying to gain value by lying. Attractive woman already has value, so this is a bad example and highly unlikely to happen.

However, I do believe that PP was repulsed more by that woman's looks not her lying per se.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First Coffee Date: I noticed the guy was parked in a handicap spot in a very popular DC hipster "market." When I walked past his car going to meet him for the date and noticed him sitting in the car, he got out and said that he would explain about the handicap sticker. No kids. We proceeded to walk about the market for an hour.

WTF, why would he think that it was appropriate to use a handicap sticker/spot on a date when you don't need one?

What's your dating story?

I have a handicapped hang tag, but I don't outwardly look disabled. I even walk with a normal gait. People have even confronted me about it on a couple occasions (quite rudely). I have a prosthetic leg below my knee.

OP here. Yes, I dated someone with a prosthetic leg. My profile clearly states, and I clarified it in our conversations before meeting, that I like fit, and active men. If that is not a good match for you, then don't date me. And yes, disabled people can be fit and active. He was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 6'1" and 170, so not fat at all. I don't own an Xbox, nor am I surprised you need to resort to online dating even as a female.

Even the ones that don't need to resort to online dating revel in the deluge of incessant free attention it provides.

Men are idiots and women are evil.

Which is odd, because Democrats are idiots and Republicans are evil, so you'd think there'd be greater party/gender confluence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to use very average to plain photos of myself with online dating. I think I was super conscious of not wanting anyone to feel tricked somehow. So I used an average but cute full length picture and then a closer but not a whole lot of makeup picture of my face.

The scenario you're positing is just plain weird.

The countless women who post the arms-length, downward-pointing selfie (MySpace Angle) and refuse to post any full-body shots aren't fooling anyone. Every man who sees them knows she's fat. Honest women like you are pretty rare.

NP, I'm curvy (more Sophia Vergera than say, Kelly Ripa) so I always post full-length pics. I don't want anybody surprised when they meet me, it's just a waste of everybody's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

PP I do not know, it is not a circumstance I have ever encountered nor do I expect to encounter. The only purpose of this question is to shame me.
This was not the case of a flattering picture. It was the case of a picture the person took a long time before, prior to weight gain.

It would be akin to me using a photo from 1997 today, except my difference are more like 20% in weight, not 100%, and my hair (except for facial) is the same color.

You question is more akin to a guy who makes 200-300K a year posting that they are poor. If you do not want one for the looks/money, use a typical non-flattering pic, or hide your net worth.

(me today, if I were dating, would hide my assets and salary unless I was looking for a trophy wife. But since I would be looking for a partner, I would want someone with similar assets).

Do most women even care about a mans income? Excepting, of course, young women who are looking to start a family. I would rather have a guy who laughs a lot and knows how to fix stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

PP I do not know, it is not a circumstance I have ever encountered nor do I expect to encounter. The only purpose of this question is to shame me.
This was not the case of a flattering picture. It was the case of a picture the person took a long time before, prior to weight gain.

It would be akin to me using a photo from 1997 today, except my difference are more like 20% in weight, not 100%, and my hair (except for facial) is the same color.

You question is more akin to a guy who makes 200-300K a year posting that they are poor. If you do not want one for the looks/money, use a typical non-flattering pic, or hide your net worth.

(me today, if I were dating, would hide my assets and salary unless I was looking for a trophy wife. But since I would be looking for a partner, I would want someone with similar assets).

Why would you hide your assets if you're looking for similar assets? That seems counter productive. I'm very lucky to be a 100% financially secure woman, and I don't bother to hide it. Having more than I need frees me up to date similar or different people.

Do most women even care about a mans income? Excepting, of course, young women who are looking to start a family. I would rather have a guy who laughs a lot and knows how to fix stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do most women even care about a mans income? Excepting, of course, young women who are looking to start a family. I would rather have a guy who laughs a lot and knows how to fix stuff.

Pah, stop trying to pretend women aren't superficial. Of course they care, and they prefer guys with higher income, all other things being equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Stop it. My son is a lovely young man and we're just looking for the right woman.

Awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women even care about a mans income? Excepting, of course, young women who are looking to start a family. I would rather have a guy who laughs a lot and knows how to fix stuff.

Pah, stop trying to pretend women aren't superficial. Of course they care, and they prefer guys with higher income, all other things being equal.

I’d also rather have a guy with a great sense of humor who can fix things around the house than a high income. But I’m financially secure in my own right so money is not an issue.