Notes from the Field: Dating Edition

[Anonymous]

Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Ha ha ha. Thinking this is going to win the thread. Hard to beat anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

This is freaking awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Omg!! Literally laughing out loud here!!

[Anonymous]

That must have been Colt from 90 Day Fiance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Omg!! Literally laughing out loud here!!

I have a lot of funny stories -- friends tell me I need to write them down. Yeah, not so fun when it's my social life, but I digress. This takes the cake. I cannot believe you sat there for 20 minutes. What did she say to you? OMG, just too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

I trust she plied your with eager questions about your fertility and willingness to bear many fine, strong children?

[Anonymous]

I would have guzzled my coffee, then leave in a huff.

Guy doesn’t have an ounce of integrity in his bones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy showed up, seemed normal. Looked like his pics. We sat down for coffee. Mentioned he's close to his family. Cool. Adds, "in fact, my mom is just over there," pointing to a woman a few tables over. Then he waves her over to join us.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Stop it. My son is a lovely young man and we're just looking for the right woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

If a woman did this, I'd feel like she was really messed up. I'd wonder why she went to elaborate lengths to mislead dates. And I'd question if she was stupid because of the effects of scaring most guys away. In this scenario, she's not going to get guys not into looks. She's going to get guys into heavier women. They could feel cheated.

Fwiw, I met up with around 100 women following my divorce that I met online (mostly coffee dates that did not go beyond one date). I felt that only around 20% looked like her pics or better. 30% were worse looking (usually a bit heavier) in a way that felt like her pics were just "flattering photos" and I tried to keep an open mind about the dates (often paying for it). The other 50% were so much different from her pics that I felt consciously misled and was pissed off at the extent of the deception (in these cases I only paid for my share). Then again, I'm pretty active myself, and put that in my profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

She wouldn’t be doing online dating. Bad example.

[Anonymous]

I'm the poster with the mom-date. Yeah... It was a lot. Best part was at the end, he realized he had forgot his wallet so his mom paid for us. BTW, we are in our early 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He said that he would explain. I didn't press him. Prior to meeting, I stressed how active I am.

Really? How active you are? This is the same as "I love the beach" - what the heck do you think people are saying about themselves? "During a typical day you can find me on the couch in front of the TV eating Dominoes and binge watching re-runs of the bachelor."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

She'd be really disappointed when she only got dates with weirdo fatty-fetishists. And the fatty-fetishists would be disappointed, too.

All around, a waste of everybody's time.