Notes from the Field: Dating Edition

[Anonymous]

OP. I saw an older white guy on Bumble with a photo of him kneeling on his shoes and making slanted eyes with his fingers. It was his last photo. I couldn't believe how clueless some people can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

I used to use very average to plain photos of myself with online dating. I think I was super conscious of not wanting anyone to feel tricked somehow. So I used an average but cute full length picture and then a closer but not a whole lot of makeup picture of my face.

The scenario you're positing is just plain weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DC hipster "market."

And in this case, hipsters = "attractive 20-somethings at Union Market"

A divorced middle-aged woman on a first date looks out of place at Union Market, no need to name call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DC hipster "market."

And in this case, hipsters = "attractive 20-somethings at Union Market"

A divorced middle-aged woman on a first date looks out of place at Union Market, no need to name call.

A fit, attractive, African American woman, who looks 10 years younger than her lighter hued counterparts is right at home in Union Market.

Did you discover another wrinkle today, Dearie. Too bad, botox will tighten up that 30 year old skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I saw an older white guy on Bumble with a photo of him kneeling on his shoes and making slanted eyes with his fingers. It was his last photo. I couldn't believe how clueless some people can be.

I don't even understand what he was trying to convey with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to use very average to plain photos of myself with online dating. I think I was super conscious of not wanting anyone to feel tricked somehow. So I used an average but cute full length picture and then a closer but not a whole lot of makeup picture of my face.

The scenario you're positing is just plain weird.

The countless women who post the arms-length, downward-pointing selfie (MySpace Angle) and refuse to post any full-body shots aren't fooling anyone. Every man who sees them knows she's fat. Honest women like you are pretty rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DC hipster "market."

And in this case, hipsters = "attractive 20-somethings at Union Market"

A divorced middle-aged woman on a first date looks out of place at Union Market, no need to name call.

A fit, attractive, African American woman, who looks 10 years younger than her lighter hued counterparts is right at home in Union Market.

Did you discover another wrinkle today, Dearie. Too bad, botox will tighten up that 30 year old skin.

I'm a guy. You sound us unattractive on the outside as you are on the inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DC hipster "market."

And in this case, hipsters = "attractive 20-somethings at Union Market"

A divorced middle-aged woman on a first date looks out of place at Union Market, no need to name call.

A fit, attractive, African American woman, who looks 10 years younger than her lighter hued counterparts is right at home in Union Market.

Did you discover another wrinkle today, Dearie. Too bad, botox will tighten up that 30 year old skin.

I'm a guy. You sound us unattractive on the outside as you are on the inside.

But you didn't comment on the other obvious put down. Go play xbox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to use very average to plain photos of myself with online dating. I think I was super conscious of not wanting anyone to feel tricked somehow. So I used an average but cute full length picture and then a closer but not a whole lot of makeup picture of my face.

The scenario you're positing is just plain weird.

The countless women who post the arms-length, downward-pointing selfie (MySpace Angle) and refuse to post any full-body shots aren't fooling anyone. Every man who sees them knows she's fat. Honest women like you are pretty rare.

Yep, the guys no the angle trick - oldest trick in the book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DC hipster "market."

And in this case, hipsters = "attractive 20-somethings at Union Market"

A divorced middle-aged woman on a first date looks out of place at Union Market, no need to name call.

A fit, attractive, African American woman, who looks 10 years younger than her lighter hued counterparts is right at home in Union Market.

Did you discover another wrinkle today, Dearie. Too bad, botox will tighten up that 30 year old skin.

I'm a guy. You sound us unattractive on the outside as you are on the inside.

But you didn't comment on the other obvious put down. Go play xbox.

I'm 6'1" and 170, so not fat at all. I don't own an Xbox, nor am I surprised you need to resort to online dating even as a female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 6'1" and 170, so not fat at all. I don't own an Xbox, nor am I surprised you need to resort to online dating even as a female.

Even the ones that don't need to resort to online dating revel in the deluge of incessant free attention it provides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Even the ones that don't need to resort to online dating revel in the deluge of incessant free attention it provides.

I'm convinced most women in DC on Tinder are only in it for the attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to use very average to plain photos of myself with online dating. I think I was super conscious of not wanting anyone to feel tricked somehow. So I used an average but cute full length picture and then a closer but not a whole lot of makeup picture of my face.

The scenario you're positing is just plain weird.

The countless women who post the arms-length, downward-pointing selfie (MySpace Angle) and refuse to post any full-body shots aren't fooling anyone. Every man who sees them knows she's fat. Honest women like you are pretty rare.

Yep, the guys no the angle trick - oldest trick in the book.

This is why I only date tall men . They think I actually look like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First Coffee Date: I noticed the guy was parked in a handicap spot in a very popular DC hipster "market." When I walked past his car going to meet him for the date and noticed him sitting in the car, he got out and said that he would explain about the handicap sticker. No kids. We proceeded to walk about the market for an hour.

WTF, why would he think that it was appropriate to use a handicap sticker/spot on a date when you don't need one?

What's your dating story?

I have a handicapped hang tag, but I don't outwardly look disabled. I even walk with a normal gait. People have even confronted me about it on a couple occasions (quite rudely). I have a prosthetic leg below my knee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a women on line. In her pic she looked like me; definitely not svelt, but only a few extra pounds. When we met, she was HUGE. Like 300 lbs. Much bigger than me.
The issue was not her size, it was the honesty.

But say she posted a picture, and you thought she was maybe too heavy and not attractive enough for you, but what the hell. And then she showed up and was much thinner, in great shape, much better looking in person. She tells you "yeah, I just put unflattering photos in my profile, because I'm sick of guys who are only into me for my looks." Would her lack of honesty make her undateable?

PP I do not know, it is not a circumstance I have ever encountered nor do I expect to encounter. The only purpose of this question is to shame me.
This was not the case of a flattering picture. It was the case of a picture the person took a long time before, prior to weight gain.

It would be akin to me using a photo from 1997 today, except my difference are more like 20% in weight, not 100%, and my hair (except for facial) is the same color.

You question is more akin to a guy who makes 200-300K a year posting that they are poor. If you do not want one for the looks/money, use a typical non-flattering pic, or hide your net worth.

(me today, if I were dating, would hide my assets and salary unless I was looking for a trophy wife. But since I would be looking for a partner, I would want someone with similar assets).