How do you handle inequality between cousins ?

[Anonymous]

Be honest. Say certain jobs pay better than others and allow more spending on things like pools and vacations. Uncle has a job that pays more than most people.
Say we work hard too, but our careers don't pay as much as a field like x,y,z.

I think kids need to learn this early. It helps them make educated decisions about college majors. Money will matter to some, and not so much to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be honest. Say certain jobs pay better than others and allow more spending on things like pools and vacations. Uncle has a job that pays more than most people.
Say we work hard too, but our careers don't pay as much as a field like x,y,z.

I think kids need to learn this early. It helps them make educated decisions about college majors. Money will matter to some, and not so much to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you explain if your child's best friend happens to be the child of two doctors and they drive luxury cars and go on more vacations than you do?

You explain that different people choose different careers for many reasons. Some careers pay more than others and those who get paid more, have more money for things like private school, swimming pools and other luxuries. Your careers pay nice enough for your family to have a nice house, food on the table, and a pretty comfortable living, even if they don't pay enough for more luxuries like the cousins have.

Perhaps you need to get your child more involved with community service so that they can see those who have much less than you. I've worked in soup kitchens, shelters, and similar community service for decades in part to help those that have much less than me and to remind me just how fortunate I am to have my UMC life.

Or you explain that some people have more luck than others, and it is not fair, but then, life isn't.

My SIL married rich, and her husband does not have a career - or a decent job, for that matter, he simply has a trust fund. And their children, who have everything they want, don't give a rat's ass about school.. I believe they've internalized that they always had, and always will have, money, so they don't need to bother with homework. Oh, and they are spoiled rotten.

I use their family as an example of what not to do. I point to my kids that because they don't have any trust funds and would have to earn a living, they'd better do well in school and learn to stand on their own two feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live a middle class life compared to our SIL who is upper middle class.

Our kids go to public, they go to private and she stays at home while my husband and I work.

I've never been about money but sometimes when our kids get together and talk about things, or our kids go to their house,
they make comments such as " L has a big pool, why can't we have that?"

OR when they went on a cruise, they go yearly---- our kids hear about it at family get togethers.

It's becoming obvious to them that their cousins have more resources due to my brother's job.

What do you say about these differences to your kids?..

we love what we do, money is not important to us and neither was it for my brother,
but he's compensated fairly well.

We live in the same city, but we do not always hangout.

Teach your kids to appreciate what they have.

I make substainally more than my sibilings and have a nice, but smaller home, but prefer to use my extra income to travel with my children. My siblings who make less are in debt trying to maintain much larger homes and more expensive clothing, toys etc for their kids. It’s all about how you choose to use your income. It’s natural for some kids to compare to some degrees but Eventually your kids will pick up on your values and that you are not materialistic.

[Anonymous]

Just teach your children to be grateful for what they do have.