Help me understand the division of younger moms vs. older moms

[Anonymous]

I was 39 when I had my first and only. I have mom friends of all ages but most of my closest are about my age. We have more in common — similar stages of our careers, often some infertility history or some other reason we had kids later, and frankly some perspective. Several of my young mom friends, for example, get so embarrassed when their 2 year olds have a tantrum in public or won’t participate in music class. I can’t think of any of my 40-plus friends who would worry about what other moms are thinking when that kind of normal kid stuff happens. That kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 39 when I had my first and only. I have mom friends of all ages but most of my closest are about my age. We have more in common — similar stages of our careers, often some infertility history or some other reason we had kids later, and frankly some perspective. Several of my young mom friends, for example, get so embarrassed when their 2 year olds have a tantrum in public or won’t participate in music class. I can’t think of any of my 40-plus friends who would worry about what other moms are thinking when that kind of normal kid stuff happens. That kind of thing.

I don't understand what you mean. So you allow your kid to throw a tantrum in public and are unfazed and do nothing about it? Clearly you have a kid in a music class hence the first hand knowledge? Sounds like you are letting your kid rule the roost, and younger moms are at least trying to get the handle on things. This is also very different than any older first time moms I know. They are all over the top protective, where did you find such a relaxed group of older moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 39 when I had my first and only. I have mom friends of all ages but most of my closest are about my age. We have more in common — similar stages of our careers, often some infertility history or some other reason we had kids later, and frankly some perspective. Several of my young mom friends, for example, get so embarrassed when their 2 year olds have a tantrum in public or won’t participate in music class. I can’t think of any of my 40-plus friends who would worry about what other moms are thinking when that kind of normal kid stuff happens. That kind of thing.

I don't understand what you mean. So you allow your kid to throw a tantrum in public and are unfazed and do nothing about it? Clearly you have a kid in a music class hence the first hand knowledge? Sounds like you are letting your kid rule the roost, and younger moms are at least trying to get the handle on things. This is also very different than any older first time moms I know. They are all over the top protective, where did you find such a relaxed group of older moms?

I don’t think that’s what PP was saying at all. I think she was referring specifically to the younger mom being embarrassed about it. My kid throws tantrums and I deal with them, but I also know they are normal developmentally so I don’t get embarrassed about it.