Perfect amount if sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. For me, twice a week is the bare minimum for a satisfactory sex life. Once a week (minus her period week) is what I get. That's like slowly starving to death.

She'd be happy with once a month. With me, at least.

This summarized what I hate about married sex. It’s becomes about obligation instead of desire. “Slowly starving to death”. Oh the drama!

I am a very horny woman. I still don’t want to be treated like a daily or weekly routine biological function. I want to miss my partner and be really *hungry* by the time we do it again. Not feel like a whiny man baby is going to be grumpy without using me for his daily orgasm like a kleenex. Which is what married sex seems like.

You sound...unhinged.

Well if she’s unhinged, so am I. I feel the exact same way. My DH wants/expects it every night. 7 nights a week. It’s just something else on my to do list for me. I’m just as passionate about it as I am brushing my teeth every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally jealous of most of you. I am in the a few times a year category. My DS always makes excuses and it stinks. When we do have sex, it’s all great and then there is a second or third outing soon thereafter. And then DS packs it in. I am a total horny mess. Up until a few years ago, lots of attractive folks still hit on me, hard. I am now a frustrated mess, literally and figuratively. DS is now using that as an excuse to say no.

I never thought my life would take this turn. While it is not everything, lack of sex and sexual rejection just stinks.

At least there is porn.

Just so I’m clear, you’re having sex with your son??

I'm pretty sure S stands for spouse.....but I could be wrong!

I would not assume on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced single 43yr old female—with kids.
I try to have it twice a week but I always want more. Scheduling is a bitch when you’re divorced and single and the primary physical parent of two little kids.

I'm curious with whom you are scheduling it.

Why?

I’m curious too. It’s so we can learn where to get sex when divorced on the regular. What’s the secret?

Yes, let us know.

I’m the poster who wrote this. I have two regular fwbs. I go months without seeing one and just the other and vice a versa. This has been going on for 3yrs. I like both of them very much as people and we keep in touch very closely. It isn’t ideal but sex wise, it does the trick. I would much prefer to be in a long term relationship but I have yet to meet someone I want to date (other than these guys).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced single 43yr old female—with kids.
I try to have it twice a week but I always want more. Scheduling is a bitch when you’re divorced and single and the primary physical parent of two little kids.

I'm curious with whom you are scheduling it.

Why?

I’m curious too. It’s so we can learn where to get sex when divorced on the regular. What’s the secret?

Yes, let us know.

I’m the poster who wrote this. I have two regular fwbs. I go months without seeing one and just the other and vice a versa. This has been going on for 3yrs. I like both of them very much as people and we keep in touch very closely. It isn’t ideal but sex wise, it does the trick. I would much prefer to be in a long term relationship but I have yet to meet someone I want to date (other than these guys).

How did you meet them?

[Anonymous]

46 yr woman—- I would be ok with 1 x week—- but sadly we do once a month at best. Small kids and busy lives... husband has very low sex drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:46 yr woman—- I would be ok with 1 x week—- but sadly we do once a month at best. Small kids and busy lives... husband has very low sex drive.

I meant young kids- not small

[Anonymous]

1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced single 43yr old female—with kids.
I try to have it twice a week but I always want more. Scheduling is a bitch when you’re divorced and single and the primary physical parent of two little kids.

I'm curious with whom you are scheduling it.

Why?

I’m curious too. It’s so we can learn where to get sex when divorced on the regular. What’s the secret?

Yes, let us know.

I’m the poster who wrote this. I have two regular fwbs. I go months without seeing one and just the other and vice a versa. This has been going on for 3yrs. I like both of them very much as people and we keep in touch very closely. It isn’t ideal but sex wise, it does the trick. I would much prefer to be in a long term relationship but I have yet to meet someone I want to date (other than these guys).

Another divorced 40 old mom here - This sounds like a nice setup! However, are these guys single? I find that only married men seem to want a setup like this and I am not going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.

Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.

I won't judge you either for baiting-and-switching your husband into marrying you. We should teach younger women to not fake a stronger sex drive than you actually will have once married. That will avoid the problem you described of married women doing it to make him happy. Should I stop doing stuff that makes HER happy (ie, listening to her day) if deep down I'd rather watch SportsCenter?

[Anonymous]

DS is spouse.

[Anonymous]

6.5 times a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. For me, twice a week is the bare minimum for a satisfactory sex life. Once a week (minus her period week) is what I get. That's like slowly starving to death.

She'd be happy with once a month. With me, at least.

This summarized what I hate about married sex. It’s becomes about obligation instead of desire. “Slowly starving to death”. Oh the drama!

I am a very horny woman. I still don’t want to be treated like a daily or weekly routine biological function. I want to miss my partner and be really *hungry* by the time we do it again. Not feel like a whiny man baby is going to be grumpy without using me for his daily orgasm like a kleenex. Which is what married sex seems like.

You sound...unhinged.

Well if she’s unhinged, so am I. I feel the exact same way. My DH wants/expects it every night. 7 nights a week. It’s just something else on my to do list for me. I’m just as passionate about it as I am brushing my teeth every night.

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. For me, twice a week is the bare minimum for a satisfactory sex life. Once a week (minus her period week) is what I get. That's like slowly starving to death.

She'd be happy with once a month. With me, at least.

This summarized what I hate about married sex. It’s becomes about obligation instead of desire. “Slowly starving to death”. Oh the drama!

I am a very horny woman. I still don’t want to be treated like a daily or weekly routine biological function. I want to miss my partner and be really *hungry* by the time we do it again. Not feel like a whiny man baby is going to be grumpy without using me for his daily orgasm like a kleenex. Which is what married sex seems like.

U
You sound...unhinged.

Well if she’s unhinged, so am I. I feel the exact same way. My DH wants/expects it every night. 7 nights a week. It’s just something else on my to do list for me. I’m just as passionate about it as I am brushing my teeth every night.

THIS

Not sure what alternative you want. I suppose DH could divorce you and find a younger/thinner/sexier woman to date. That would get sex off your todo list. Good idea?

[Anonymous]

If say 3-4x/week. With the right person.
With the wrong person 1x/week.

I end up 2x/week with the wrong person and 1-3x/month with the right one. Unfortunately at 1x/month right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced single 43yr old female—with kids.
I try to have it twice a week but I always want more. Scheduling is a bitch when you’re divorced and single and the primary physical parent of two little kids.

I'm curious with whom you are scheduling it.

Why?

I’m curious too. It’s so we can learn where to get sex when divorced on the regular. What’s the secret?

Yes, let us know.

I’m the poster who wrote this. I have two regular fwbs. I go months without seeing one and just the other and vice a versa. This has been going on for 3yrs. I like both of them very much as people and we keep in touch very closely. It isn’t ideal but sex wise, it does the trick. I would much prefer to be in a long term relationship but I have yet to meet someone I want to date (other than these guys).

Another divorced 40 old mom here - This sounds like a nice setup! However, are these guys single? I find that only married men seem to want a setup like this and I am not going there.

One is actively dating but is mostly in another fwb situation. Basically he has two ongoing fwb things. And one is single. He just has no time. The little time he has, we spend together. Beyond the sex, these are men I trust and men who have had my back in the very difficult post divorce years. Again, not ideal but great regular sex