Should we buy a second car? It is complicated, WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need the new 3 row Subaru, which is what I assume you want.
If you won’t use it much and mostly will use it for taking kids places, get a used minivan. If you find that you use it more than you thought, get the Subaru you really want in 2-3 years.
You may be loving city life with 2 preschoolers, but schlepping 3 kids and all their stuff on public transit or with a stroller is a whole new ball game.

OP here, not that it matters, the car we want is a WV Atlas

Is your husband going to help pay for it?

Op here, haha I shouldn't answer this, but yes we are paying it from our joint account and yes we do have individual account where we do what the heck we want with our personal money and joint account that we use for family expenses, anything else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need the new 3 row Subaru, which is what I assume you want.
If you won’t use it much and mostly will use it for taking kids places, get a used minivan. If you find that you use it more than you thought, get the Subaru you really want in 2-3 years.
You may be loving city life with 2 preschoolers, but schlepping 3 kids and all their stuff on public transit or with a stroller is a whole new ball game.

OP here, not that it matters, the car we want is a WV Atlas

Is your husband going to help pay for it?

Op here, haha I shouldn't answer this, but yes we are paying it from our joint account and yes we do have individual account where we do what the heck we want with our personal money and joint account that we use for family expenses, anything else?

I'm actually kind of fascinated how this works.

Do you both earn about the same amounts of money? Do you split the mortgage and childcare and other bills evenly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm actually kind of fascinated how this works.

Do you both earn about the same amounts of money? Do you split the mortgage and childcare and other bills evenly?

"Do you divide the utilities equally or estimate each person's actual use?" Eyeroll.

[Anonymous]

Third row SUVs take up more or less the same amount of space as minivans while being significantly less practical. Seriously, bring your double stroller or some luggage and try to squeeze it in when you test drive. Sit in the third row. Make sure you are truly okay with it.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you go see a therapist and get professional help....and then after some meds, marriage counseling, etc...realize that you are all too privileged, incapable of making a simple decision, married to a douche bag, and yet you are having a third child? Car is the least of your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need the new 3 row Subaru, which is what I assume you want.
If you won’t use it much and mostly will use it for taking kids places, get a used minivan. If you find that you use it more than you thought, get the Subaru you really want in 2-3 years.
You may be loving city life with 2 preschoolers, but schlepping 3 kids and all their stuff on public transit or with a stroller is a whole new ball game.

OP here, not that it matters, the car we want is a WV Atlas

Is your husband going to help pay for it?

Op here, haha I shouldn't answer this, but yes we are paying it from our joint account and yes we do have individual account where we do what the heck we want with our personal money and joint account that we use for family expenses, anything else?

I'm actually kind of fascinated how this works.

Do you both earn about the same amounts of money? Do you split the mortgage and childcare and other bills evenly?

OP here, Happy to tell you more:

DH makes more than I do (I have the flexible but decent paid job), we have a joint account where our full salaries are direct deposited every month, out of that we each get the same monthly allowance that is directly transferred to our personal account for us to do whatever the heck we want to do with it (e.g clothes shopping, lunch at work, personal outing etc). Every house expenses (mortgage, bills, food, kids, car, dining, travels, etc) come from the the joint account. This is was easy for us to do because we had about the same financial "status" before we got married (i.e. no debt and almost same amount of $ in saving and other investment). So we kept the $$ we each had before we got married separately and we usually contribute to big expenses from our private savings, for example when we bought a house, instead of getting down payment money from our joint account, we each contributed 50% of what we wanted to put down and we might also do this for the car.

Also my husband spent a lot more of his personal money that I do because he prefers to eat out for lunch (instead of bringing lunch like I do) and he buys me more presents than he gets from me (he never wants anything!) but at the end of the day it all comes to almost the same and we don't get into fights because of the way personal money is being spent.

We have been doing this for a long time and we have never had any friction regarding money. A colleague had recommended this when we were getting married and I am glad they did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you go see a therapist and get professional help....and then after some meds, marriage counseling, etc...realize that you are all too privileged, incapable of making a simple decision, married to a douche bag, and yet you are having a third child? Car is the least of your problems.

It seems like you are the one who needs med! at this stage I am not even sure the meds will work for you!

[Anonymous]

So wait... you and your DH have complex financial division of everything, all of the expenses all figured out, but you can't make a simple decision about the car? And you have savings that you both contribute to, but then you also write you have the rest of what you each earn and don't need for mutual costs to do as you wish with? I think your pregnancy is clouding your judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you go see a therapist and get professional help....and then after some meds, marriage counseling, etc...realize that you are all too privileged, incapable of making a simple decision, married to a douche bag, and yet you are having a third child? Car is the least of your problems.

It seems like you are the one who needs med! at this stage I am not even sure the meds will work for you!

Ha, ha! You are funny, I'll give you that.

[Anonymous]

You each contributed 50% for down payment from your own personal accounts instead of your joint savings? You need a lawyer honey!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You each contributed 50% for down payment from your own personal accounts instead of your joint savings? You need a lawyer honey!

Yeap because the personal account had more money. Are you a lawyer? because i would definitely wont be hiring you if I needed one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You each contributed 50% for down payment from your own personal accounts instead of your joint savings? You need a lawyer honey!

Yeap because the personal account had more money. Are you a lawyer? because i would definitely wont be hiring you if I needed one!

OK. Your marriage and car decision options are great, you are totally mature and normal person. You are perfectly happy splitting your money as if you will divorce tomorrow and you are having a third child. Actually, that third kid is a good safety net for you, but maybe not. You sounds so smart, you probably signed a prenup in which he keeps all the money he earns and you give back the "more" presents he buys you! Cheerio!

[Anonymous]

OP Here, although this thread has become very entertaining, I think I got what I wanted from it and I am moving on! Sometimes it is good to hear from different perspectives even though the problem might sounds trivial to others! We will probably get a used minivan and keep the old car. Also we will keep our "weird" financial arrangement intact
Thanks for those who had useful contributions. For the rest, chill out, everyone don't have to do things the way you do them! Peace out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, although this thread has become very entertaining, I think I got what I wanted from it and I am moving on! Sometimes it is good to hear from different perspectives even though the problem might sounds trivial to others! We will probably get a used minivan and keep the old car. Also we will keep our "weird" financial arrangement intact
Thanks for those who had useful contributions. For the rest, chill out, everyone don't have to do things the way you do them! Peace out!

OP, your arrangement is great because it is working for you and your family. We each have to live the way that's best for us.
I've seen great prices on used minivans and SUVs on Enterprise Car Sales (this is where I'm going to get our "new" SUV from).
Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Op my Wife and I have separate accounts too ( We are a 2 Mom family) She makes $85,000 and I make $50,000. We get paid into our own accounts and then both contribute X amount into a joing for house stuff. She pays more into that account than I do because she makes more. She also pays all the daycare expenses.
I pay for the house cleaner out of my money.

It may be weird for others but it works for us and we dont argue about money, like ever.