Custody Issue While Separated - Please Help!!

[Anonymous]

Filing at fault can make things costly with a emotionallyn abusive ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Let her file at-fault on the grounds of abandonment. Your defense will be your documented attempts to negotiate a separation agreement, and her alienating you from your child for 7 months.

She can’t file at fault for abandonment unless it’s been 2 years. There’s nothing she can do at this point.

So leave, pick your kid up from school, take her to your apartment, and when wife asks when she gets the kid back, tell her when there is a signed custody agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Let her file at-fault on the grounds of abandonment. Your defense will be your documented attempts to negotiate a separation agreement, and her alienating you from your child for 7 months.

She can’t file at fault for abandonment unless it’s been 2 years. There’s nothing she can do at this point.

So leave, pick your kid up from school, take her to your apartment, and when wife asks when she gets the kid back, tell her when there is a signed custody agreement.

I think that could be considered kidnapping. I wouldn’t recommend this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Let her file at-fault on the grounds of abandonment. Your defense will be your documented attempts to negotiate a separation agreement, and her alienating you from your child for 7 months.

She can’t file at fault for abandonment unless it’s been 2 years. There’s nothing she can do at this point.

So leave, pick your kid up from school, take her to your apartment, and when wife asks when she gets the kid back, tell her when there is a signed custody agreement.

I think that could be considered kidnapping. I wouldn’t recommend this.

It's definitely not kidnapping (a crime) because either parent can take the child until a custody agreement is in place. Whether it will make OP look really bad in court is a question for his lawyer.

[Anonymous]

OP your situation sucks, but you need to stop being so passive. 1. you will feel better. 2. it will be better for your child.

You can let your wife dictate the terms of your separation (you pay mortgage, you don't get to see child) or you can have a voice in them.

Plenty of people have separated and divorced uncooperative partners, so I know there are alternatives to just waiting it out for the next 8 years. Find a lawyer who will advise you about how to make the break (how to move out, whether to take child etc).

When your wife sees you are taking action, she will probably get angry and try to retaliate, but stand your ground and set boundaries. You have a right to see your child and you don't have to pay for everything on your own.

At some point your wife may decided to be a reasonable human being and negotiate or go to mediation. Or she may not.... in which case, you will go to court and a judge will decide custody (very likely 50/50 if that's what you want) and settlement of assets (you'll probably have to sell the house).

Good luck. Be strong. And know that when this is all over you (and your child) will be in a better place.

[Anonymous]

Also, you definitely have the right to pick your child up from school. I'm sure this would anger your wife, but who cares? Your child too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move out, get a cheap two bedroom, file for 50/50 custody, file for divorce and force the sale of the house.

Here’s the answer.

[Anonymous]

Another idea - maybe call a domestic abuse hotline for some advice. They have likely heard of incidents like this and maybe than provide some suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Move out and file for custody. MD will force you to to mediation, but you’re likely to get some time alone with DD. You can also ask for an evaluator. Our evaluator wrote A BOOK worth about my XH’s crazy methods of feeding, diapering, and playing with the baby. He didn’t get 50/50. Sounds like your wife shouldn’t either. Living in the bed is unsanitary and mentally unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

You're never going to be able to reach her -- if you could have, you'd still be married.

No matter how much flak she gives you, no matter what, you pursue the legal action you need to get a reasonable schedule and not permit her to alienate you from your child.

[Anonymous]

Damn, your wife is walking all over you. She makes you stay to keep up with the bills while she enjoys the master suite, monopolizes your child and basically treats you like a pet.

OP, you sound like a fantastic father who only has his kids best interest at heart. You’re being played for a fool though. You’ve gotta get tough back. I like the suggestion of an hourly rate with an attorney for another consultation.

If you can’t afford it start canceling bills. Cable can go. Data plan can go. Gym memberships. Whatever wifey loves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn, your wife is walking all over you. She makes you stay to keep up with the bills while she enjoys the master suite, monopolizes your child and basically treats you like a pet.

OP, you sound like a fantastic father who only has his kids best interest at heart. You’re being played for a fool though. You’ve gotta get tough back. I like the suggestion of an hourly rate with an attorney for another consultation.

If you can’t afford it start canceling bills. Cable can go. Data plan can go. Gym memberships. Whatever wifey loves.

Exactly. He should be making life difficult for her to live in the house. Stop paying nearly all bills--she can pick up the utilities and grocery bill from now on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Let her file at-fault on the grounds of abandonment. Your defense will be your documented attempts to negotiate a separation agreement, and her alienating you from your child for 7 months.

She can’t file at fault for abandonment unless it’s been 2 years. There’s nothing she can do at this point.

So leave, pick your kid up from school, take her to your apartment, and when wife asks when she gets the kid back, tell her when there is a signed custody agreement.

I think that could be considered kidnapping. I wouldn’t recommend this.

If OP picked up the child at school and moved her to California or Alaska it wouldn't be kidnapping. It wouldn't be a smart legal move, but definitely not illegal. If he moved the child to China it might be international parental child abduction, which is a crime.

[Anonymous]

Wondering, OP, if your new gf/fiancée started a thread about you cosleeping with your DD? The ages and details about the XW spending all day in bed with the child...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Let her file at-fault on the grounds of abandonment. Your defense will be your documented attempts to negotiate a separation agreement, and her alienating you from your child for 7 months.

She can’t file at fault for abandonment unless it’s been 2 years. There’s nothing she can do at this point.

So leave, pick your kid up from school, take her to your apartment, and when wife asks when she gets the kid back, tell her when there is a signed custody agreement.

I think that could be considered kidnapping. I wouldn’t recommend this.

If OP picked up the child at school and moved her to California or Alaska it wouldn't be kidnapping. It wouldn't be a smart legal move, but definitely not illegal. If he moved the child to China it might be international parental child abduction, which is a crime.

This is not true. It is only true if there is one custodial parent and one non-custodial parent. If there is joint custody, then this could be a violation of your custody agreement. You need to check your custody agreement and the appropriate state laws. If you do not have a custody agreement, then it is assumed you have joint custody and you may need to ask your co-parent for permission to travel with your child out-of-state. If you don't and your co-parent objects, you could be considered in contempt of court or violation of your custody agreement or in extreme cases, kidnapping.

Here is one description of the issues. There are many others. Do your research before you try to travel without consent of the other parent.
https://info.legalzoom.com/child-custody-laws-relating-traveling-another-state-written-consent-25130.html